I'm not a gambler, for the simple reason that I've never won anything. But I am tempted to put some money on the National Anthem.
Gambling web site www.betED.com is eager to take your money in all sorts of creative ways. You can bet on the number of total QB sacks, on which team will commit the most penalties, and on the coin toss (heads? tails? tie?).
My favorite bet: How long Billy Joel will take to sing the National Anthem. The over/under is one minute, 44 seconds (not counting the preliminary piano playing).
Even without my action, the experts think that Super Bowl wagering will top $100 million for the first time. (The legal kind, that is.)
When one considers that the degree of schlock increases in direct proportion to the length of the performance, I think one could safely bet the house, the car and all the children that the melodramatic Mr. Joel will easily go "Over".
The only wild card is the possibility that the "preliminary piano playing" will exceed four minutes -- perhaps, a segue into "Piano Man" and a greatest hits medley -- and NFL will give him the hook before the actual singing gets to 1:40.
"That our flag -- our flag -- our beautiful, beautiful flag -- yes, our flag was still there..."
[mic goes dead, camera cuts to players, officials and captains take the field]
But "Over" is still the safe bet.
-- SCAM