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Minor disappointments

I’m not sure who Matt Dillon brought as his date, but I’m disappointed it wasn’t his brother. Kevin Dillon’s character on HBO’s “Entourage,‿ Johnny Drama, would never let this opportunity pass.

I am now rooting for Felicity Huffman to lose. I’ve seen her crying twice already – when her “Desperate Housewives‿ co-stars saluted her, and when Dolly Parton sang – and I’m just not strong enough for a nervous breakdown at the podium.

Joaquin Phoenix is chewing gum.

Michelle Williams needs to stop letting Heath pick out her gowns for her. She looks like Big Bird. I’m trying to come up with a more original comparison, but she looks like Big Bird.

There seems to be a Hispanic row in the audience: Jennifer Lopez, Marc Anthony and Salma Hayek are seated next to each other, and I’m assuming that Penelope Cruz was just off camera.

There’s something big, black and shiny sitting on Charlize Theron’s shoulder. Could she not have thought of a better body part to draw the eye?

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Comments

I think it's a crippled falcon. She's wearing it as a sop to the PETA faction.

How did you skip from Clooney to Parton without even mentioning what an embarrassment Ben Stiller is? He may be the least talented person ever to stride the Oscar stage. Jon followed up with a "unitard" joke. Well, he got the 'tard part right.

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