Chicago Sun-Times
with sports reporters Daryl Van Schouwen and Chris De Luca

Deathrace 2009: Cooper vs. Cox

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GLENDALE, Ariz. - The tortoise and the hare had nothing on what took place Saturday morning on the backfields of Camelback Ranch.
What started as trash talk surrounding the speed of pitching coach Don Cooper and third base coach Jeff Cox, turned into White Sox players enticing the two to settle it with a 50-yard dash and the promise of a reward waiting for the winner.
With Jermaine Dye acting as the starter, and Cox inexplicably deciding to run the race shirtless, it was on ... and quickly over, as Cox took a lead and never looked back.
As Paul Konerko put it, "Cox won by four feet, his breasts won by eight.''
There is video on the race, but the club is awaiting government clearance, fearing many who view it might have trouble sleeping at night.

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That's hilarious!

However, may I make a serious somewhat of a piggyback on that?

Everyone knows, including Paulie himself, that he's as slow as molasses on the basepaths. I'm not saying that he can be Juan Pierre, but I think he can get faster. Here's how: ask Paulie if he can train himself to stop running flatfooted. I'm dead serious. I think he runs flatfooted like I used to run. Once I learned to run on the balls of my feet, I went from slowpoke to, yes, I know it's hard to believe, but a pretty darned fast dude. I DID IT AS A FULL-GROWN ADULT! Yes, it does it a bit of training, but not all that much! It took me about a month or so and there I was.

If Paulie had at least just average speed, he would no longer clog up the basepaths and we could keep him around for a few more years even with the youth movement. He could provide leadership along with a middle-of-the-order bat either at first or as a DH. Yes, we actually will be needing a DH soon! We've gone from a lineup of 1B/DH hippos up and down the order to now having to look for both!

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This page contains a single entry by Joe Cowley published on March 28, 2009 3:31 PM.

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