Call it the aftermath of the Academy Awards or simply long, boring days in camp, but an esteemed group of movie goers made up of myself, White Sox director of media relations/media consigliere Bob Beghtol, first baseman Paul Konerko and assistant GM Rick Hahn have put together a list of the Top 10 Most Underrated Movie Villains of All-Time.
Think you have better, send ‘em.
10. Tommy – Michael Bowen in “Valley Girl’’ – Yes, the boyfriend that made Nick Cage’s punk life miserable. And anyone that can bust out the pink tux to prom and still make threats with karate moves is a keepsake on this list.
9. Mugatu – Will Ferrell in “Zoolander’’ – Classic line: “Who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway? The man has only one look, for Christ's sake! Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigra? They're the same face! Doesn't anybody notice this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! I invented the piano key necktie, I invented it! What have you done, Derek? You've done nothing! NOTHIIIING!’’
8. Principal Richard Vernon – Paul Gleason in “Breakfast Club’’ – Gleason also gets honorable mention for his role in “Trading Places,’’ but making sure burnout Bender understood, “Don't mess with the bull, young man. You'll get the horns,’’ will live on forever.
7. Hal the Nursing Home Orderly – Ben Stiller in “Happy Gilmore’’ – It doesn’t get more heartwarming than when Happy’s sweet old grandmother says to Hal, “Sir, can I trouble you for a warm glass of milk? It helps me go to sleep.’’ And in return hears from Hal, “You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up. Now, you will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep. Check out the name tag. You're in my world now, grandma.’’
6. Johnny Lawrence – William Zabka in “The Karate Kid’’ – Forget the fact that he was the prized Cobra Kai student, but the idea that he can follow orders such as “Sweep the leg!’’ to perfection also means he’s a good listener. Zabka gets honorable mention for the bully in “Just One of the Guys,’’ where he would put on weight-lifting gloves to flip over cafeteria tables being used by geeks.
5. Shooter McGavin – Christopher McDonald in “Happy Gilmore’’ – Who hasn’t made a long putt and gone “Shooter’’ on the golf course since seeing this movie? OK, maybe I really am the only one.
4. Ernie McCracken – Bill Murray in “Kingpin’’ – While Murray has numerous classic characters, “Big Ern’’ might be the most underrated role he’s done. The comb-over alone can bring you to tears.
3. Chet – Bill Paxton in “Weird Science’’ – Every kid back in the 80s was hoping for an older brother like Chet. I mean getting blackmailed, having your allowance stolen, wedgies, who wouldn’t want that in their household when they were 16? Classic line: “How 'bout a nice greasy pork sandwich served in a dirty ashtray?’’
2. White Goodman – Ben Stiller in “Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story’’ – Stiller’s best performance ever … hands down! Who could forget, “At Globo Gym we understand that ‘ugliness’ and ‘fatness’ are genetic disorders, much like baldness or necrophilia, and it's only your fault if you don't hate yourself enough to do something about it.’’
1. Sensei John Kreese – Martin Kove in “The Karate Kid’’ – “We do not train to be merciful here. Mercy is for the weak. Here, in the streets, in competition: A man confronts you, he is the enemy. An enemy deserves no mercy.’’ Words I know I would want my young son learning from his karate instructor. Sure, Kreese had his faults. I mean being a former Vietnam hero and then operating a wealthy chain of dojos can easily be thrown off track by some 98-pound kid that learns the “Crane’’ technique from his – I might add – unlicensed instructor. I’d like to say Kreese got the last laugh after losing the All-Valley Karate Championships, but as we found out in “The Karate Kid III,’’ Cobra Kai went out of business. Damn you Daniel Larusso!