Let me make this clear: I have never hosted a talk show. Does this make me less qualified to judge talk-show hosts than, say, in alphabetical order, Tyra Banks, Carson Daly, Tony Danza, Zach Galifianakis, Tom Green, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Magic Johnson, Sharon Osbourne, Jerry Springer or Steve Wilkos?

Yes. Conceded.

But this historic Letterman-O'Brien showdown -- the brutal Fight for Late Night -- cannot be ignored. CBS chief Nina Tassler couldn't help gloating that "Late Show With David Letterman" is closing the ratings gap with "The Tonight Show." Remember in June, a week after Conan O'Brien's "Tonight" debut, when NBC formally announced that he was "the new king of late night"?

"It seemed a little bit premature," Tassler said with a laugh during a meeting with critics last week. Even NBC's late-night boss, Rick Ludwin, had to agree.

Apparently President Obama has NOT killed off presidential satire...

David Letterman may be one of the only people in the country with job security.

From the New York Times:

By Bill Carter
David Letterman will continue his late-night show on CBS through August 2012 - and maybe longer. The host and CBS have worked out a new contract, though an announcement may not take place for some days.

Neil Patrick Harris has successfully gotten past his "Doogie" identity, but Zack Morris will apparently always be Zack Morris.

CBS is about to close a deal with David Letterman to keep him hosting the "Late Show" through 2012. Meanwhile, as the ratings honeymoon wears off with Conan O'Brien's arrival on NBC's "Tonight Show," Howard Stern at least stands up and says, hey, Dave's the guy to watch, on last night's show ...

One hour earlier, still pale but in greater danger of sunburn, up a sidekick but down a FedEx Pope - is Conan still Conan?

Disappointingly, it's too early to tell.

O'Brien, 46, kicked off his stint as the fifth host of "The Tonight Show" with a brisk jog. In a suit and dress shoes, he ran from New York to Los Angeles, with detours through Wrigley Field and a Victorian Doll Museum along the way. He paced himself with Cheap Trick's anthem "Surrender."

It didn't make much of a statement -- although it did explain why he has the same scrawny legs he did when we met him 16 years ago.

Admit it. Seeing O'Brien under direct sunlight in various bits was a jolt. But he looked giddily at home on the "Tonight Show" stage, and spoke of watching Johnny Carson when he was a kid and wanting to grow up to do the same thing. "And I'm sure right now, somewhere in America, is a little kid watching me," he mused, "thinking, 'What is wrong with that man's hair? Is that even a man? Why is she crying?'"

Susan Sarandon dropped in on Jimmy Fallon last night ("All grown up with your own show!"), and talked about why she agreed to get sexed up with Justin Timberlake in the "Saturday Night Live" video for "Motherlovers."

"My 16-year-old said it would be classic," she said. If it ever comes out on DVD, there will be quite a few outtakes having to do with syrup and whipped cream. The end result was actually restrained, said Sarandon. "I was relieved the classic was so classy."

Sarandon was also promoting a new entrepreneurial venture of hers: A New York "ping-pong bar" called Spin.