Another picture says a thousand words thanks to contestant Christina Tolisano:

Haar is back. He's taken Paula's advice and had his chest hair removed. He's selected "Don't cha." It's not clear whether it is the Pussycat Dolls or Anastacia as he doesn't get more than one word out before being shown the door.

Chris Watson, 20, fares a bit better with "Follow Me" by Uncle Cracker. It's unanimous and Watson is Hollywood bound.

After a day one recap, it's onto the "loud singer" segment. The less said, the better.

Milo is a middle aged-man from New Jersey. He wants to audition with a song "No Sex Allowed." Despite being too old, they give him face time in front of the judges. This is someone's idea of "good television."

Next up is Christie Lee who puts the amazing in "Amazing Grace." She's Hollywood bound. I'm guessing that she'll crack under the pressure of Hollywood week. Maybe she'll prove me wrong.

In this segment: families celebrating around singers who are good enough for Hollywood, but not interesting enough for much camera time.

A Chicago singer makes her Philly debut. Angela Martin is a 26 year-old mother whose daughter has a devastating neurological disorder called Rett syndrome. She is auditioning because a singing contract will enable her to provide health care for her daughter.

Alexis is up. She looks a bit like Jem. She says she marches to a different drummer and thinks "Allentown" was written by Bon Jovi (it was Billy Joel).

She sings Jefferson Airplane's "Somebody to Love." She's not that bad.

Simon lets her down easy. "This competition isn't right for you," he tells her.

The next segment is about Philly showing off its unique talent.

Next up is a guy who attempts a Frank Sinatra song. True to the lyrics, he does it his way. His way is apparently flat and, according to Simon, "completely tuneless."

Ah, the "Idol" we know and love is back. It's a montage of people singing "I Love Rock N Roll" badly. The highlights: a drag queen, three women dressed like the Andrews Sisters and an angel.

A trio of bad singers followed by a trio sent on to Hollywood.

Selected for the journey: Junot Joyner ("The Blues" by Elton John; Simon says he has a very good voice), Jose Candelaria (who belts a song in Spanish) and Zac Efron-lookalike Jonathan Baines.

An immigrant is next. He picks a song for "Mr. the Bee Gees" called "How Deep Is Your Love?"

It's going to be bad.

Paula is impressed with how he "phoenetically learned the songs." Simon prods her to say something honest about Ali, but she doesn't take the bait. Simon thanks him for auditioning.

Next up is Melanie. She was a back-up singer for Taylor Hicks. Simon is unimpressed, but Randy and Paula vote to send her to Hollywood.

The dream factory is open for business. Season seven of "American Idol" kicks off in Philadelphia. The City of Brotherly Love has the largest crowd turn out for auditions in the show's history.

Let's get the ball rolling with Chris Daughtry's recent comments about "American Idol" to Rolling Stone :

“It’s in a state of decline and if they don’t do something about it, it’s probably not gonna last too much longer. I’m sure that’ll be used against me, but that’s the truth, you know?”

In our experience, "Idol" viewers break down into two camps: those who don't start watching regularly until the audition shows are finished, and those who relish the culling of this screechy herd. For a reminder of what we're up against when the seventh season begins tonight, take a trip down memory lane on this Web page, which collects videos of the 10 worst "Idol" auditions along with Simon's commentary.

Sun-Times TV critic Doug Elfman already interviewed Simon Cowell and "American Idol" executive producer Nigel Lythgoe, but in an Associated Press interview with Lythgoe released today he added something we find amusing — and telling of our lonely life amid the writers strike.

It's not as if "Idol" has ever had a problem generating staggering ratings, but Lythgoe is more confident than usual that this season's contest will score highly. ‘‘Everyone is sort of saying that there isn’t anything else on television to watch,’’ Lythgoe said.

As a result, of course, getting your ad on during the show ain't cheap. Thirty-second commercials for this "Idol" season went on the block at $750,000 per, but now are going for as much as $1 million. "You have the No. 1 program in television for the last four years, and now it's going up against even weaker competition," ad-buying firm executive Ray Dundas told The Los Angeles Times. "Idol is going to do very, very well."

By Doug Elfman
Sun-Times TV Critic

Has Simon Cowell grown a heart? When “American Idol” returns with new auditions Tuesday night, there will be viewers wishing Simon would lighten up, and those viewers might include … Simon.

There are times, he says, when he hates himself for cracking on the wannabes.

“You don’t know the person’s back story, normally, before they walk in the room,” he says. “For all I know, their dog died an hour ago, and they’re singing this in memory of the dog. And I — or anyone else — is rude.”

Once he watches such episodes on TV, “when you see the whole story unfold, it’s horrible.”