SPOILER! WARNING! In fact, if you really want to read this, click on the jump.
It pains me to tell you this, but the rumors are true: Vienna is still in the running.
In fact, producers chose to play the instrumental of "On the Wings of Love" during their pirate-themed date. A bad omen.
And, oh yes: Jake and Vienna licked each other like dogs.
There's no way that Ali could compete with that. Ali left the show last week to keep her job with Facebook - what kind of an example is she setting for young girls? - and called Jake this week, begging to come back.
You know all those promos showing Jake on the phone to Ali, saying, "Get on a plane, get here right now"? To call them "misleading" would be putting it mildly. What Jake ACTUALLY said is that he WISHED he could say that, but he won't, because his heart blah blah blah.
So Ali stayed home. And is probably very happy right now.
It was, of course, the one-on-one date episode. Three hot tubs were frolicked in, multiple "leaps of faith" were spoken of, and an infinite number of roses were dismembered for the fantasy suites.
The saintly Tenley continued to stick to her conversational comfort zone: talking about her morals, her values, and her ex-husband. She was rewarded with a rose.
But we had to say goodbye to Gia the insecure swimsuit model. Considering that she once dumped Yankees pitcher Carl Pavano, it must have really burned to have been dropped by Jake.
Next week: The women tell all.
I initially accepted the premise that Jake was the "nice guy" he was billed as being; after watching "The Bachelor" for several weeks now (oh, am I embarrassed to admit), I realize we were AGAIN sold a ton of unprocessed fertilizer.
Jake is an immature, shallow, self-centered, mealy-mouthed jackass. After all of his blabber about how he values high morals, he frolicks overnight in "fantasy suites" with the remaining three. EWWWWWWW. Ali, Honey, you made the right decision (YOUR JOB, YOUR JOB, YOUR JOB...oh, yeah, and San Francisco) and dodged a MAJOR bullet. And Gia: you are sweet and gorgeous. Hell, I'd propose to you myself, if I weren't a heterosexual woman!
Not watching any more episodes. If I wanted to see boring and really icky, I'd watch VH1's lineup of trashy reality shows!