I think it's sweet that the producers are trying to explain the past five seasons in one hour -- a valiant effort -- but I don't think it'll win over any new viewers. If I tuned in for the first time tonight, I would cry. But I'd keep watching for the shirtless Sawyer.

I'll try to catch up on "American Idol" on the commercials, but I don't think I have the focus necessary to do both. Let me know if there's another "Pants on the Ground" moment, will you?

I can't get into the character of Ilana. She is just one character too many. I'm trying to care why she's there, and she was in the "Last Supper" publicity photos for this season, but my mind is rejecting her.

And I'm not sure what to make of the Jacob/man-in-black dynamic. Do we have an ancient, tropical Bert and Ernie situation here? Or is it closer to Spy vs. Spy?

There's no one like Doc Jensen at Entertainment Weekly for "Lost" analysis. Here's the latest installment of their "Totally Lost" feature.

This exchange is getting a lot of emphasis tonight...
The man in black: They come, they fight, they destroy, they corrupt. It always ends the same.
Jacob: It only ends once. Anything that happens before that, it's just progress.

Somehow I get the feeling that once it's explained, I still won't understand it.

The start of the premiere... SPOILER ALERT ...

They did it! They prevented the crash from ever happening, and the island sank to the bottom of the ocean. A bang-up beginning. Nice.

Wait. No. What?

They ARE on the island, and it's not 1977 anymore. (If the producers expect me to keep up with parallel universes, they are sorely mistaken.)

Best line so far, from Hurley of course: "I won the lottery, and I like chicken."

Juliet is alive! Didn't see that one coming. I figured with Elizabeth Mitchell on "V" now, she couldn't just be winging off to Hawaii for filming.

FROGURT! The beloved Frogurt is napping next to Locke on the plane! I am loving this.

Another brilliant line, from Richard: "Asking me what's in the shadow of the damn statue doesn't mean you're in charge."

Jacob: I died an hour ago.
Hurley: Sorry dude, that sucks.

Sayid, kicking in the door of an airplane bathroom! THAT'S how you announce your presence with authority. Poor Charlie, passed out in there. I'm not sure I can think of a worse place to die.

SMOKE MONSTER!!!!!!!!! The smoke monster = the man in black! We have an answer! An actual answer!

OK, have been looking up "black and white" in Lostpedia in an effort to understand Jacob vs. the man in black. Some of the goodies:

I remember this: In part 2 of the pilot, Locke told Walt that backgammon is "Two players. Two sides. One is light, one is dark." Seemed fairly deep at the time.

Also in season one: Jack found a leather pouch in the pocket of one of the bodies of Adam and Eve. Inside were two small square shaped polished stones; one black and one white.

In season three: When Locke talks to Kate and tells her that he's leaving with the Others, he has a (bruised) black eye. This recalls Claire's dream in "Raised by Another" in which Locke has one black eyeball and one white eyeball.

And in season five: Christian Shephard wore white shoes in his coffin, while John Locke wore black shoes in his coffin.

Doesn't really clarify anything, but fun trivia nonetheless.

Not too impressed with the spring of eternal life. Why kill off Sayid? Would someone please occupy his body, at least?

I love this speech by Locke/man in black/Smoky: "I'm talking about John Locke. Do you want to know what he was thinking while you choked the life out of him, Benjamin? What the last thought that ran through his head was? 'I don't understand.' Isn't that just about the saddest thing you ever heard?" If they are mocking the television viewing audience, well done.

Locke: "Hello, Richard. It's good to see you out of those chains." I am intrigued!

Oh, Sayid. You're OK! Yeah, yeah, I caught the crucifixion pose as they brought you out of the water, Jesus rose from the dead, I get it.

I love that in the parallel universe, Locke lost his luggage.

Apparently the producers are calling the alternate universes "flash sideways" -- there's a great interview with Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof at ew.com, and I love the theories in the comments. I am not going to be able to sleep tonight.

Let me know what you think of the new narrative device, and if you loved the first hour of the premiere as much as I did. There are impossibly high expectations for this season, but that first hour really delivered.

I'm hoping for lots more Frogurt next week, and maybe to get a glimpse of Richard in those chains. What'd you think? I'm off now to catch up on "American Idol"...