And we kick off the live performances with a healthy dose of cowbell and a clear view of Paige Miles's tonsils. She didn't get much air time up till now, but now we know that Paige can sing -- and that she needs to pee. Her rendition of "All Right Now" was solid, but not flashy enough for the judges.

One strike against her: that junior-high-dance black lace dress with silver lame belt (!). Tragic. Truly.

Next up: Ashley Rodriguez, who underwhelmed with Leona Lewis's "Happy." I like that she took a risk, but it didn't pay off.

(Superficial aside: Ellen's pocket square is snappy.)

I like Janell Wheeler's voice -- it's surprisingly husky and has a way with the minor chords -- but I can't get past the pageant veneer. I don't think I'd like her as the next American Idol, although she may have a future in slasher movies. As for Heart's "What About Love," she Disneyfied it too much for my taste.

Lilly Scott of Denver scored with the random choice of the Beatles' "I'm Fixing a Hole." I will be watching her, if only for her interesting choices in legwear. But please, kids: Just because Lilly lived out of her car, it doesn't mean you should.

LOVED Katelyn Epperly, loved the feather, loved the pleather, loved her sultry, raw version of the Beatles' "Oh Darlin'." She's almost too perfect. She could be a fembot plant.

Nobody can out-enthuse Haeley Vaughn. Am I wrong? There's nothing that doesn't sparkle on her. If this "American Idol" thing doesn't work out for her, someone should give her a children's show, pronto.

Just one word went through my head while Lacey Brown covered Fleetwood Mac's "Landslide": forlorn.

Michelle Delamor is "very commercial looking," said Kara. Why does that sound like an insult? She's gorgeous, and deserves the diva spot with her "Fallin'."

I love the song "Take Me the Way I Am" by Ingrid Michaelson, and not just because it uses the word "Rogaine" so effectively. The judges weren't too impressed by Didi Benami, but I think America just loves her. She's completely endearing. I'm guessing votes won't be a problem for her.

Siobhan Magnus makes me nervous -- or "a funny little thing," as Simon calls her. Singing "Wicked Game" upped the "huh?" factor for me. Beautiful song, haunting voice, and the glass-blowing to fall back on. She should be fine.

Crystal Bowersox, busting out the Alanis Morisette! But the harmonica made me laugh, which I'm sure was not the intention. Still, she's the kind of artist who will one day jam with lots of other artists at fund-raisers like Farm Aid.

Unfortunately, I agreed with the judges on Katie Stevens' "Feelin' Good." A bow in the hair, red pumps, and a song that's way too old for her. A big voice, though, that will come through in the end.