I stayed up (until 9!) to see Jillian and Ed's big announcement. Was it... that she was off the pill and trying for a dog? Because otherwise, I missed it. And I feel betrayed.

The first round always has too many mercy roses. Two had earlier cried, one had a kid... I love that he made the crazy girl wait so long, though.

Are there vaudeville consultants on the show now? Apparently you can't meet Jake unless you have a prop. The black gloves and the peacock feather -- which looked like it had been through the dryer -- were maybe the most eyebrow-arching.

The nanny with the enormous breasts and the tight spiral? I imagine she does well.

Among the varied occupations (fit model, swimsuit model, spokesmodel), one was subtitled as a homemaker. How can you be a single homemaker? Is she just rich? Or caring for her ailing parents? Her jewelry was too good for the latter.

Truly appalling lines:
"Do you have a registry for these guns?"
"Can't wait to see you in a uniform."
"You can land your plane on my landing strip anytime." (in Cambodian)
"How do you feel about Kissimee? ... Kissimee, Florida!!!"
"I'm a cuddlebug!" (I believe it was the same woman who spoke the last two lines. And she made it to the second round.)

"Now I'm waving goodbye from the tarmac...." said one rejectee. Can that be the last flying metaphor we hear for the season? No?

There could be some good trash talk this season. "There are some girls with their tatas out to play," said the meanest bachelorette. "I will cut a bitch," said another. I've never said that, but I want to.

If he doesn't marry Rozlyn, I will. I'm going to out on a limb and say she's never had to buy her own appletini.

I CANNOT get "On the Wings of Love" out of my head. Damn you, Jake Pavelka.