SATURDAY

"Coyote Ugly" (6 p.m., ABC Family): It's a marathon!

"Sorority Wars" (8 p.m., Lifetime): Courtney Thorne-Smith and Faith Ford are startlingly well cast as aging sorority sisters trying to convince their daughters to follow in their perky footsteps.

"Really Awards" (9 p.m., Fox Reality): The year's most notorious reality contestants vie for top honors. (Translated: It's another chance to see Heidi and Spencer Pratt.) You have a sacred duty to watch; Fox will take its Reality Channel off the air in March. I'm feeling nostalgic already.

"Swamp Thing" (9:30 p.m., WCIU-Channel 26): Svengoolie highlights 1982's "Swamp Thing," about a research scientist who does some sloppy work. With the irresistible acting stylings of Louis Jourdan, Arienne Barbeau and Ray Wise.

SUNDAY

"Alex's Day Off" (8:30 a.m., Food): Chef Alex Guarnaschelli shows us how to make homemade doughnuts with cinnamon sugar and hot blueberry jam. Because that's exactly what America needs.

"Art in the 21st Century" (2 p.m., WTTW-Channel 11): Jeff Koons visits Chicago's Museum of Contemporary Art, where he analyzes two sculptures at a retrospective.

"Hannah Montana" (6:30 p.m., Disney): Kara DioGuardi guest-stars on the episode titled "Judge Me Tender," as pal Oliver performs on "America's Top Talent."

"The Simpsons" (7 p.m., WFLD-Channel 32): It's "Treehouse of Horror XX," which features zombies, a Hitchcockian revenge plot, and Moe's microbrew.

"Kids in Rehab" (7 p.m., Nickelodeon): Linda Ellerbee socks it to young celebrities, who glamorize drugs and rehab by looking so fabulous doing it.

"Storm Chasers" (9 p.m., Discovery): Oklahoma tournados herald the new season.