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October 2009 Archives

Okay, so I was half-right.... Melissa Joan Hart did indeed exit the ballroom Tuesday night on "Dancing With the Stars," as I predicted Monday. I had also predicted that Michael Irvin would be heading for the locker room because he is saddled with a partner who cannot choreograph (Anna Demidova is a good dancer, but she cannot conceptualize fun, exciting, challenging choreography).

In the end, it was Irvin in the bottom two dance-off against Louis Vito, the snowboarder who thought his dancing skills were a wee bit better than they actually were. The judges voted to keep Irvin on for another week.

I think they made the right choice, but as we head into week 7, Irvin doesn't stand a chance against the more powerful performers ahead of him on the leaderboard. In better pro hands, Irvin might be a stronger contender. He's got the heart and the dedication, but Demidova's choreography can't hold a candle to that of Derek Hough or Louis Van Amstel. Still, anything can happen this season, with scoring completely out of the realm of sensibility.

'Dancing with the Stars' week six looks weak

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So it's week six in the ballroom and things couldn't be more boring. What has happened to this gem of a reality show? Where has all the fun gone? Most of the contestants look tired; the pros just look bored. There's very little chemistry out there on the floor this season, and for some reason Samantha Harris' inane backstage chatter has become interesting. No, not really.

But it was a boring Monday night in the ballroom, despite Len Goodman's continuing firing off some very tough criticism--- and for once, all of it very much deserved. Some of the toughness has rubbed off on Carrie Ann Inaba and Bruno Toniolo who were both extremely critical on this night.

The highlight of the night was the mambo danceoff, which played out like a real dance competition with all the couples out on the dance floor. Mya and Joanna were the last two standing and alas, it was the swimsuit model (Bruno's personal fave this season) who walked away with the full 10 extra points from the judges. Gotta admit she fought very hard to win that dance.

Overall, it was a night of humdrum Viennese waltzes and not too exciting jitterbugs, save for Donny and Kym, who were not technically perfect, but who, at least in their jitterbug, managed to make it look like it was fun.

Can't say the same for pro Chelsie Hightower who was dropped not once, but twice by her partner snowboarder Louis Vito. NOTE TO LOUIS: Dude, she fell so hard on her behind toward the end of the routine you could hear the thud over the music. Making it all worse was the fact that he was so absorbed in his own awkward dancing that he didn't even realize it.

Two people are going home tonight. I have to admit it's a hard one to predict. Michael Irvin could be dancing a lot better if his pro partner Anna Demidova would actually choreograph something halfway interesting. Melissa Joan Hart has a great partner in Mark Ballas but she is just not improving as the weeks go by. I dunno. Right now, it's all about fan base because other than Joanna, Mya, Donny and Kelly, the dancing is so even keel this time out it and the judges' marks so "all over the map" that it wouldn't be suprising if one of the better dancers gets the boot before the dancers at the bottom of the leaderboard.

But based on the performances last night, I'm thinking either Michael or Melissa Joan will be hanging up their dancing shoes tonight.

Flappers ruled the night on "Dancing with the Stars" as Kelly Osbourne, Melissa Joan Hart and Donny Osmond paid homage to the frolicky and fun dance from those roarin' 20s. Osbourne's was by far the best, as she as partner Louis Van Amstel did their utmost in tribute to the musicals "Chicago" and "Cabaret" and the legendary Emcee himself, Joel Grey. Hart actually went out there and for the first time really cut loose, once she realized her, uhm, acting skills would definitely carry her through one of the most "performance"-driven dances. Osmond gave it his best shot, but it wasn't as crisp and "silly" as the Charleston of the two ladies who danced ahead of him. But at least he too, like Melissa, finally cut loose and just had some fun.

When it came to the lambada, nobody was going to hold a candle to Joanna Krupa, who was positively smokin' on the dance floor with partner Derek Hough. It wasn't the best lambada in the world, but it was pretty steamy at every turn.

Poor Michael Irvin. He did his best to inject some sexiness into the bolero, but then again, he's saddled with the horrible choreography of Anna Demidova, who "won" the right last year to be this year's new pro. She may be a good dancer, but she hasn't a clue how to choreograph, and more importantly, how to choreograph a dance that on some layer gives Irvin a fighting chance. Seems Anna is spending a lot of time in New York concentrating on some sort of modeling career. Nothing like a wee bit of exposure on a hit ABC show to get the modeling agents calling, hey Anna?

And then there was this year's ballroom darling, the impish snowboarder Louis Vito, who, along with pro partner Chelsea Hightower, proved that there's more to dancing the "country" 2-step than walking around the dancefloor while your pretty girl of a partner is trying her best to camouflage the fact that you're walking around the dance floor ... and walking.... and walking.... Hey Louis, the show is not called "Walking with the Stars." He still managed a 16 for a pretty pathetic routine, despite even the judges' less-than-flattering comments.

And Mya, who's tan glow was oilier than Michael Flatley's in his "Lord of the Dance" heydey, could do no wrong with her lambada... except for judge Len Goodman who just didn't think she danced up to her potential. She had to settle for a 28 on this night.

Tom DeLay exits the 'Dancing' ballroom --- willingly

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To nobody's surprise, Tom De Lay announced he's done with "Dancing with the Stars" due to stress fractures in both feet.

Of course, he made the announcement AFTER dancing last night and AFTER amassing the judges' scores and who knows how many viewers' votes that COULD have gone to one of the other contestants tonight who at this writing are "in jeopardy" of leaving the ballroom (De Lay was "saved" by the votes tallied).

There should be a new rule on dancing: You get seriously injured (and I'm talking the kind of injuries such as stress fractures in BOTH feet that can leave you recouperating for a long, LONG time), you leave the show. It's not fair to the rest of the pack who are fighting for every single viewer vote.

Whoever is eliminated tonight can thank Tom De Lay on the way out of the ballroom.

Seems like "Dancing with the Stars" missed a priceless moment last night .... has video of what we DIDN'T see during the show's broadcast Monday night... ringside guest Paula Abdul's fingernails and toenails. All 20 digits were decked out with Simon Cowell's face. Yep, and what lovely portraits of Cowell they are!
Seems like she was paying tribute to her former "American Idol" pal in honor of his recent 50th birthday bash in London.

Odd, even by Paula Abdul, uhm, standards.

Kisses abound in ballroom on "Dancing with the Stars"

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One awkward kiss deserves another.... and so it went tonight on "Dancing with the Stars" as Kelly Osbourne followed up Donny Osmond's goofy kiss of judge Bruno Tonioli, by planting a mighty powerful kiss on the unsuspecting lips of her pro partner Louis Van Amstel at the very end of their sultry samba. Poor Louis, he just stood there and licked his wound... seemed like he may have actually cut his bottom lip from the force of Osbourne's smooch. And what was that expression on the face of Osbourne's boyfriend Luke Worrall in the gallery? He didn't seem to appreciate the kiss much. Nope, not much. Nope.

At the end of the night it was mighty Mya at the top of the leaderboard, not that it's an exciting board to top so far this season. But she did turn in the best dance of the night.

Poor Debi Mazar, her boa-inspired (that's feathers, not snakes) skirt was as ridiculous as her dance steps tonight. Alas poor Maks Schmerkovskiy is probably headed for the exit in the next two weeks. That's because Tom De Lay will go home Tuesday night. I know he's wounded (stress fractures of the feet) but he is just not that interesting or fun to watch, regardless of what Carrie Ann Inaba says.

Prediction for Tuesday night's elimination: Tom De Lay. But watch out Debi Mazar!

Tom DeLay keeps up the pace in 'Dancing' ballroom

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Tom De Lay, suffering from crushing stress fractures in both feet and against the advice of his doctors and "Dancing with the Stars" producers, still managed to pull off a samba with partner Cheryl Burke. It wasn't great by any samba measures, and he was visibly mouthing the count of the steps as the duo traversed the dance floor (other dancers have been roundly chastised for this by the judging panel).

His score of 15 was way inflated thanks to Carrie Ann's "6" for a really poor performance (and not a word about his counting!). But then the judging this season has been so unpredictable and so off-kilter. Even the ballroom audience doesn't know whether to boo or applaud; mostly they just moan.

Donny Osmond's, Paula Abdul's awkward 'Dancing' moments

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Almost dozed off tonight thanks to some of the most uninspired and positively ballroom dancing in the history of the show. And then, there was Donny Osmond, who in a fit of I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT... was determined to plant a loving kiss on Bruno Tonioli's eager lips by dipping the startled judge about as far back as a person can be dipped when they're about to be kissed. What was THAT all about? It was funny when Cloris Leachman threw herself lovingly at the judges, but Donny just looked ridiculous (refusing to just let the gag die) and uncomfortable. Even Bruno looked a bit perplexed. And Donny, never one to let a gag die, could only comment "I don't think they're gonna let me back in Utah."

Carrie Ann Inaba could only comment, "Well that was a bit awkward."

And THEN there was Paula Abdul, ringside, and being interviewed by Tom Bergeron who plied her with a simple question to the tune of "What do you think of tonights' show?" I still have no idea what she babbled in reply, only that she called Len Goodman Led BADman.
How funny is THAT?

And somebody has opened a gynormous can of crankypants this season in terms of the judges' comments. Len and Bruno have been brutal to the point of painful; and I haven't seen so much use of the "4" and "5" paddles in the history of the show.


Kelly Osbourne feels the 'Dancing' burn

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Quoting the Web site: "Kelly just tweeted she had to get her "DWTS" costume fixed so it would cover the fresh burns she suffered after using a British line of body fragrances called Impulse Body Spray. She wrote: 'Never use impulse body spray from the UK i sprayed it on myself and now have really bad burns all over my body.'"

The Web site goes on to say that they "contacted Impulse's manufacturer Unilever in the U.S. -- which also makes Axe Body Spray -- who said: "We are looking into the incident that Kelly Osbourne reported, and appreciate her feedback and input."

For photo of Kelly with her, uhm, burn, visit

'SNL' on Chicago's Olympic bid

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Last night's primetime edition of "Saturday Night Live's" special "Weekend Update Thursday" featured several Chicago stars -- "John Malkovich," "Dennis Franz" and even "Oprah Winfrey" -- stating their case for why Chicago should be awarded the 2016 Olympics today.

"Bovine people of Chicago"?! That's it, Malkie. You're dead to us.

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This page is an archive of entries from October 2009 listed from newest to oldest.

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