"Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?" (7 p.m., WFLD-Channel 32): A shark attack survivor and a coma survivor face off. God, can't we just give both of them the money?
"Lock N' Load with R. Lee Ermey" (8 p.m., History): I am not making this up. The Marine Vietnam vet and incomparable actor will get "hands-on with some of the world's fiercest firearms." First up: The history of the machine gun, complete with exploding targets in slo-mo.
"Sex Slaves in America" (8 p.m., MSNBC): Be thorough about it. It's followed at 9 p.m. by "Sex Slaves in the Suburbs" and at 10 by "Sex Slaves: The Teen Trade."
"Amusement Park Eats" (9 p.m., Food): Will we finally find out what's in cotton candy? I hope it's not bad for you.