Us magazine reports that Nadya Suleman and her 14 children will be part of a "quasi-reality" documentary series. Nadya signed a deal Thursday night with Eyeworks production company.
At least the series shouldn't create a "Jon and Kate" situation, since Nadya's life is already a circus. And yet I'm disturbed. I'm not sure I want to hear any more about her life views.
And with multiples earning millions, will this show spur copycat wombs, determined to top octuplets?
"Maneater" (8 p.m., Lifetime): Sarah Chalke ("Scrubs," "How I Met Your Mother") plays a perky gold-digger. Is that a bad thing? Based on the Gigi Levangie novel.
"Pushing Daisies" (9 p.m., WLS-Channel 7): The series has been canceled, but at least we get to watch the remaining episodes to fulfill our whimsy quota.
SUNDAY
"The Talk" (7:30 a.m., WMAQ-Channel 5): Marion Brooks's new show revisits the big stories of the week. Will Jon and Kate make the cut?
"This Is Our Moment: Election Night 2008" (5:30 p.m., WTTW-Channel 11): The Sun-Times's Richard Roeper, Carol Marin and Mary Mitchell narrate. Expect to cry.
"The Hills" (7 p.m., MTV): Season finale. "Laguna Beach" bitch Kristin Cavallari joins the cast to stir things up. Has she dated Justin Bobby yet?
"MTV Movie Awards" (8 p.m., MTV): Andy Samberg, who's hosting, will start the show with a digital short co-starring Will Ferrell. Since Will can't rap or sing, expect something tasteless.
"Jesse James Is a Dead Man" (9 p.m., Spike): Sandra Bullock's sweetie rides a Pro-Stock dragster, takes a flight in a D-16, and then sets himself on fire. And to think he could have had a quiet desk job as The Apprentice.
"Breaking Bad" (9 p.m., AMC): Season finale. Some say it's the best show on TV, and this season's best (and most painful) finale. Yes, even counting "The Hills."
"Aqua Teen Hunger Force" (10:45 p.m., Cartoon): It's a live-action episode of the animated series with rapper T-Pain playing Frylock, who looks like a floating box of French fries.
"Un-Broke: What You Need to Know About Money" (8 p.m., WLS-Channel 7): Chicago financial whiz Mellody Hobson -- also notable for being George Lucas's Oscars date -- explains it all, from credit cards to stock market indexes. She has a little help from friends Will Smith, Samuel L. Jackson, Seth Green and the Jonas Brothers.
"What Not to Wear" (8 p.m., TLC): "Blossom's" Mayim Bialik is all grown up now with two kids, but her wardrobe didn't bloom along with her. Stacy and Clinton try to help.
"Nature's Most Amazing Events" (7 p.m., Discovery): The premiere is about the Arctic summer's Great Melt, a polar bear and her cub.
"The Tonight Show With Jay Leno" (10:35 p.m., WMAQ-Channel 5): Jay's last "Tonight" show. He welcomes successor Conan O'Brien as a guest -- awkward alert.
I'm still waiting for my Us magazine, so I only got a tease of this week's cover story: "INSIDE JON'S PRISON." I thought they couldn't top last week's "FROM MOM TO MONSTER" cover, but I was wrong.
Us magazine alleges that, in addition to the weekly mad money Kate would dole out, she banned Jon from seeing his brothers after his father's funeral.
You've almost got to respect the way Us is going after the couple, and trying to paint Kate as the biggest witch since they declared Angelina a homewrecker. (This was before she was reclassified as a saint, and then the subsequent backlash.)
I don't buy it. I have sympathy for Kate, maybe because the footage of her belly -- distended with six fetuses -- is forever stuck in my mind. Maybe I feel sorry for her because all the criticism is a bit over-the-top. Maybe I feel sorry for her because of her hair.
Apparently "Deal Or No Deal" is not doing the job. AP reports:
NEW YORK (AP) -- NBC set a low-water mark of historic proportions for TV viewership last week.
The network averaged 4.4 million prime-time viewers, according to Nielsen Media Research.
While it's not the smallest ever recorded by ABC, CBS, NBC or Fox, it's the smallest to come in a week outside of the summer doldrums of June, July, August or early September.
Only once before has NBC been lower, during August 2007, Nielsen said. The company's precise records go back to the advent of "people meters" in 1987, but given how dominant broadcast networks were before then, it's likely NBC hasn't had such a small audience since the early days of television.
"2009 Scripps National Spelling Bee" (7 p.m., WLS-Channel 7): Tom Bergeron hosts the final rounds of the championship. This year, 293 youths have earned the right to choke on live TV.
"Kick Like a Girl" (8 p.m., HBO): The Mighty Cheetahs, a third grade, all-girls soccer team in Utah, takes on the boys' team in this documentary. They have more to fear from the boys' parents.
"The Oprah Effect" (8 p.m., CNBC): An examination of Oprah Winfrey's business clout, and how she can turn entrepreneurs into millionaires. Admit it, you've bought some of her Favorite Things.
"The Real Housewives of New York City Season 2: The Lost Footage" (8 p.m., Bravo): Talk about milking a franchise. More Kelly taunting.
"Grease 2" (10:05 p.m., VH1): It only gets better with repeated viewings.
"American Idol" and its strange voting process made the front page of the New York Times with the headline "AT&T May Have Swayed 'Idol' Results." From the story:
By EDWARD WYATT
LOS ANGELES -- AT&T, one of the biggest corporate sponsors of "American Idol," might have influenced the outcome of this year's competition by providing phones for free text-messaging services and lessons in casting blocks of votes at parties organized by fans of Kris Allen, the Arkansas singer who was the winner of the show last week.
Representatives of AT&T, whose mobile phone network is the only one that can be used to cast "American Idol" votes via text message, provided the free text-messaging services at two parties in Arkansas after the final performance episode of "American Idol" last week, according to the company and people at the events.
There appear to have been no similar efforts to provide free texting services to supporters of Adam Lambert, who finished as the runner-up to Mr. Allen.
----
Paige here again. It should make for entertaining gossip today, but many "Idol" fans are saying that it's a non-story. Idolator.com breaks it down and says that these kinds of parties have been going on for years. The "representatives of AT & T" are just salespeople from local stores trying to drum up business.
"George Strait: ACM Artist of the Decade All Star Concert" (7 p.m., CBS-Channel 2): Big names include Sugarland, Toby Keith, Tim McGraw, LeAnn Rimes, Faith Hill, Jamie Foxx, Alan Jackson, Brooks & Dunn . . . Who gets to do "All My Ex's Live in Texas"?
"Wipeout" (7 p.m., WLS-Channel 7): Can this stunt show get any more painful? ABC will certainly try. New stunts include "Hurtles," "Sweeper Gyro" and "A Bridge Too Far."
"Surviving Suburbia" (8:30, WLS-Channel 7): The Bob Saget sitcom hasn't been canceled yet, but there's little hope that it will survive the summer - or that viewers will survive its rude humor. All around, it's been pretty deadly for everyone involved.
"American Masters: Hollywood Chinese" (9 p.m., WTTW-Channel 11): A century of Chinese American cinematic history, from the silent "The Curse of Quon Gwon" (1916) to Ang Lee's "Brokeback Mountain" (2005).
Patti Blagojevich won't be the only bawdy Chicago lady braving the jungles of Costa Rica.
Former Second City comics Frances Callier and Angela V. Shelton said late Tuesday that they'll be competing next week on NBC's "I'm a Celebrity ... Get Me Out of Here!"
The Goode Family
Three stars
8 p.m., WLS-Channel 7
By Paige Wiser, TV Critic
pwiser@suntimes.com
If being politically correct is a full-time job, then the Goode family is working double shifts -- and covering for the rest of us. Mike Judge's new series is about the kind of people who have a bumper sticker on their Prius that says, "Support our troops... and their opponents."
The show's immediate predecessor is "King of the Hill," which hasn't been renewed and is airing its last few episodes. It will receive a more fitting, hourlong sendoff in the fall.
But before you can really miss those endearing rednecks, Judge supplies us with "The Goode Family." It's a solid replacement. The Goodes are basically the polar opposites of the Hills, determined to tiptoe through life with the smallest carbon footprint possible.
Well, the producers did get Kate and Jon the same couch occasionally for interview purposes, but the body language said "I'd rather be suing you for custody." It was uncomfortable to watch them be so honest about such an obviously raw situation.
I would second-guess their decisions to share their problems with the world, but this is a couple with a completely different reality from us. First, when they suddenly found themselves with eight kids, life must have gotten pretty surreal. And then when they let MORE people in the house to film them, life was distorted even more. Now they're on magazine covers. We're a few seasons late to criticize their judgment, aren't we?
It looks like this season will have a whole new vibe to the harried-but-affectionate reality show. Kate has become hardened and defiant. Jon -- well, I just didn't believe him. It seems like he just wants his 20s back.
Yes, it's a fascinating case study for the power of television to destroy lives. I shudder for the children. But if we watch, we're just feeding the machine.
"Reaper" (7 p.m., WGN-Channel 9): Season finale. Sam (Bret Harrison) challenges the Devil (Ray Wise) to a game of quarters. Guest-starring Ken Marino ("Party Down") -- who always delivers -- as a gay demon.
"Hitched or Ditched" (8 p.m., WGN-Channel 9): Where's the best place to decide if you want to marry someone? At the altar, of course. In the premiere, a couple ponders the question even though every single person they know is against it.
"The Little Couple" (9 p.m., TLC): Newlyweds Jen and Bill met online at a dating site for little people -- they're each under four feet tall. On the premiere episode: road trip!
"Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood" (9 p.m., Oxygen): Say what you will about them, but props for the marriage lasting until at least season four. They've given up the bed and breakfast, and are now preparing for the birth of baby Stella.
Cross Tom Cruise in "Top Gun" with Robin Williams in "Patch Adams," then take off all their clothes, and you have Dr. Jack Gallagher. We meet the hero of "Mental" as he's struggling with a naked schizophrenic. To win his trust, Gallagher strips down, too.
Because he cares. And because he's a maverick.
Unfortunately, the new series is not as impressive as Gallagher's pectorals. Set in a mental hospital, Gallagher is the just-hired chief who's determined to help his patients with his maverick ways. He's played by Chris Vance ("Prison Break"), who tries to overcome the cheesy script with a British accent and a little dignity. He fails.
How do we know that Gallagher's a maverick?
He dresses down.
He rides a bicycle to work.
He served with Doctors Without Borders.
He makes the staff participate in a three-legged race with the patients.
He does a little breaking-and-entering to track down clues about the state of mind of the naked schizophrenic - which seems illegal even to me.
A worse crime? Gallagher dazzles his colleagues with card tricks in the conference room. If that's not illegal, it should be.
The good:
The premise of delving into the minds of mental patients has unlimited potential. The series uses fancy special effects to show the patients' point of view. We could call it "crazy cam," although that would not be very sensitive.
One guy sees everyone with lizard tails, while an elderly woman fantasizes about having sex with them all. (Doesn't anyone hallucinate about rainbows and sugar cookies?)
Annabella Sciorra flips on her disturbed role in "The Sopranos" by playing the wise hospital chief here. She doesn't have much to do.
I did enjoy Nicholas Gonzalez, playing an intern trying to bed fellow intern Marisa Ramirez, a hot lesbian. They have a nice chemistry going. I'd like to see them recast in an update of "Silk Stalkings."
As for Dr. Gallagher and his card tricks -- I'm rooting for him to lose his license.
"Jon & Kate Plus 8" (8 p.m., TLC): The Gosselins may be going through a crisis, but nothing can stop a "Backyardigans"-themed birthday party for the septuplets. In previews, Kate and Jon were interviewed separately. Will they ever again share a loveseat?
"Dreams With Sharp Teeth" (8 p.m., Sundance): A documentary about the multitalented author Harlan Ellison ("Dangerous Visions"), who's had scuffles with everyone from Frank Sinatra to Roy Disney. Ellison's friend Robin Williams describes him as "a skin graft on a leper."
"Cake Boss" (9 p.m., TLC): Buddy and his helpers make a fire engine cake -- with working lights, a siren and smoke.
"Here Come the Newlyweds" (9:02 p.m., WLS-Channel 7): This update of "The Newlywed Game" involves paintball. I'm rooting for Michele and Sonarak Ieng, the only couple that aren't undernourished. As a competitor notes, "They look jolly!"
There seems to be a distinct theme to many upcoming TV shows. Let's call it "marital agony." Boy marries girl; they go on TV to earn money or fame; and their relationship is tested down to the last shred of affection.
Like most trends lately, this is a disturbing one - and addictive to watch.
"Drama and comedy come from conflict," says Walter J. Podrazik, the Chicago author of Watching TV: Six Decades of American Television. "An unhappy marriage offers opportunities for both."
And if the marriage isn't unhappy yet, the cameras will take care of that.
There seems to be a distinct theme to many upcoming TV shows. Let's call it "marital agony." Boy marries girl; they go on TV to earn money or fame; and their relationship is tested down to the last shred of affection.
Like most trends lately, this is a disturbing one - and addictive to watch.
"Drama and comedy come from conflict," says Walter J. Podrazik, the Chicago author of Watching TV: Six Decades of American Television. "An unhappy marriage offers opportunities for both."
And if the marriage isn't unhappy yet, the cameras will take care of that.
"My Boss's Daughter" (2 p.m., Comedy Central): Ever wonder why Ashton Kutcher is considered a big deal? This 2003 flop, co-starring Tara Reid, only deepens the mystery.
"Legend of the Seeker" (4 p.m., WGN-Channel 9): Season finale. I couldn't resist this synopsis: "Darken Rahl and his Mord'Sith interrupt Richard and Kahlan just as they are preparing to unleash the power of Orden."
"Harper's Island" (8 p.m., WBBM-Channel 2): This slashtastic episode is titled "Sploosh." That can't be good.
SUNDAY
"Never Give Up: A Tribute to Warner Saunders" (7:30 a.m., WMAQ-Channel 5): The recently retired newsman looks back over his 40-year career in Chicago television. Repeats on Monday at 4:30 p.m.
"Million Dollar Password" (7 p.m., WBBM-Channel 2): If you were competing, would you rather have William Shatner or Aisha Tyler as your partner? Here's to Team Tyler.
"National Memorial Day Concert" (7 p.m., WTTW-Channel 11): Gary Sinise and Joe Mantegna host the salute to our military. The eclectic guest roster includes Colin L. Powell, Dianne Wiest and Katharine McPhee.
"Storm Stories" (7 p.m., The Weather Channel): Relive last February's tornado season in Oklahoma, and mourn for the town of Lone Grove.
"The Last Templar" (8 p.m., WMAQ-Channel 5): If you missed this lame Mira Sorvino actioner the first time around, there was probably a good reason for it.
"Diamonds" (8 p.m., WLS-Channel 7): Judy Davis stars in the miniseries about the African diamond trade and its global repercussions. Tagline: "They cost more than you think."
"Devil's Pond" (8 p.m., Lifetime): Ever wonder why Tara Reid is a big deal? This 2003 movie, about a man (Kip Pardue) plotting his wife's death, only deepens the mystery.
"Everybody Hates Chris" (7 p.m., WGN-Channel 9): Enjoy it while you can. Both "Chris" and "The Game" have been canceled -- which means no more sitcoms on the CW.
"Don't Forget the Lyrics!" (7 p.m., WFLD-Channel 32): Meatloaf and his daughter, Pearl, turn up the volume on the show. It's not a guilty pleasure if it's for charity.
"Outbreak" (7 p.m., AMC): In case you were starting to take the swine flu for granted. Look for Patrick Dempsey as "Jimbo."
"Phineas and Ferb" (7:30 p.m., Disney): Am I the only one who's hoping that Perry the Platypus -- the "semi-aquatic egg-laying mammal of action" -- gets his own spinoff?
"Head Case" (9 p.m., Starz): Jerry Seinfeld visits with Dr. Goode (Alexandra Wentworth), who helps him realize he's cheating on his wife with his lhasa apso.
Summer is for voyeurs -- it's the time of year that reality show producers lower their standards even further. Who wins? We do, and possibly Patti Blagojevich, who will brave the jungle (and Stephen Baldwin) on "I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!" (June 1, NBC).
Rest up for "Big Brother 11," too, because with three episodes a week plus a live internet stream, it's a serious time comitment (July).
And "More to Love" promises a dating show "for the rest of us" (July 28, FOX). That means they don't look good in bathing suits, either.
A few other shows to stay inside for:
"Merlin" (June 21, NBC): Sci-fi fans and Renaissance enthusiasts will tune in for the 13-part series about the wizard's young life in Camelot.
"Nurse Jackie" (June 8, Showtime): The buzz is big for Edie Falco's new show, about a brilliant emergency room nurse who has a weakness for Vicodin.
"The Goode Family" (May 27, ABC): "King of the Hill" has been canceled, but creator Mike Judge doesn't miss a step with this new animated series about an eco-obsessive family.
"The Philanthropist" (June 24, NBC): James Purefoy ("Rome") stars in "the heroic adventures of a billionaire playboy turned vigilante philanthropist."
And the returning "True Blood," "Mad Men," "Entourage," "Weeds," "The Closer," "Saving Grace," "Top Chef Masters" and "Hell's Kitchen."
"Dr. Phil": (3 p.m., WBBM-Channel 2): He examines the fascinating mind of Drew Peterson - and presumably clarifies the definition of "tough love." The second of two parts.
"Ugly Betty" (7 p.m., WLS-Channel 7): During the two-hour season finale, Betty's ex Henry is back. The geek hunk is played by fan favorite Christopher Gorham ("Harper's Island").
"So You Think You Can Dance" (7 p.m., FOX): Yes I do. The two-hour premiere includes auditions in Los Angeles, Miami and New York.
"Southern Belles: Louisiana" (9 p.m., SOAPnet): The new reality series explores the question, "If I'm not married by a certain age, am I a failure?" (If I may answer: Hell to the no!) Keep an eye out for Kellie, who has a long-distance relationship with a guy in Chicago.
Singing or dancing? TV viewers declared their preference last night with a click of the remote - and "American Idol" continues to dominate our evenings, with about 23.7 million viewers.
But "Dancing With the Stars" is getting a leg up. The final night of singing for "Idol" was actually the lowest-rated finale ever, even including its first season, when it aired in the summer. "DWTS" drew 20.1 million viewers, holding onto its audience from last year.
Interestingly, the new high school musical "Glee" had both singing [ital]and[unital] dancing, not to mention a cushy slot post-"American Idol." It was also promoted within an inch of its young life. "Glee" hooked a passable 9.9 million viewers - but FOX bragged that it was the No. 1 topic on Twitter all night.
"The New Adventures of Old Christine" (7 p.m., WBBM-Channel 2): Season finale. Old Christine connects with New Christine's dad, but then learns some "shocking news." Between guest appearances on "Christine" and "Chuck," Scott Bakula is having a bang-up TV season.
"Gary Unmarried" (7:30 p.m., WBBM-Channel 2): Season finale. Warning! Sexual high jinks.
"Criminal Minds" (8 p.m., WBBM-Channel 2): An agent's life is at stake during the two-part season finale. A serial killer targets Detroit druggies, hookers and homeless, and then takes them across the border to Canada. Cruel and unusual!
"40 Dumbest Celebrity Quotes Ever" (7 p.m., VH1): How to choose? And how many times does David Hasselhoff make the list?
"Mythbusters" (8 p.m., Discovery): Tonight's topic: If a skydiver hits a playground seesaw, will a small girl fly seven stories into the air?
The ballroom has a new champion, and that person is Olympic gold medalist Shawn Johnson, and her partner Mark Ballas.
It was a nail-biter down to the very end, as Melissa Rycroft was already relegated to third place, leaving Shawn and Gilles Marini standing and waiting as that thumping music played.
Host Tom Bergeron was beside himself as he revealed that only 1 percent separated Shawn and second-place finisher Gilles (and partner Cheryl Burke) when all the votes were counted, making this the closest finish in "Dancing" history.
In the end, it was toe-to-toe as the final three couples danced for one last round of judges' scores. Each nabbed a perfect "30" for their respective dances, but in the end, viewers' votes (combined with the judges' scores) that determined the champ for season 8.
Shawn, of course, was not my choice for champ, though she was an incredible dancer and competitor.
So for those of us who crossed our fingers and toes an hoped for a Gilles win, what happened?
Looking back, Gilles really blew it in the freestyle the night before, when he should have scored a perfect "30" if he and Cheryl had danced as well as they had the past five weeks straight. What were they thinking with that ridiculous "Flash Dance" number? We'll never know, but it probably cost them the trophy.
I will not soon forget Gilles Marini's exquisite dances, throughout the season, none more than that passionate, sexy, fiery, precise and sensuous Argentine tango that he and partner Cheryl Burke reprised tonight. And what about their stunning Viennese waltz? Pulsating paso doble? Judge Len Goodman said it for many of us when he commented that no dancer this season has given him more pleasure to watch than Gilles.
Bachelorette Melissa Rycroft (and her partner Tony Dovolani) had to settle for third place, but as she stated most graciously, her life has "completely changed in the past 11 weeks." Believe me, she's headed for bigger television pastures than the ballroom. Weep not for her this time around.
Here's to next season of "Dancing with the Stars"!
It was a great night of dancing, but on the way to the final results, there was a lot of comedy thanks to contestants and a mini-roast by comedian Jeffrey Ross.
To wit, here are some highlights of the evening's ballroom banter:
"I have a new appreciation for satin, silk, glitter and thongs." Celeb contestant Chuck Wicks
"My three favorite judges in the whole world--- smokin', croakin', and flamin'." --- Jeffrey Ross to Carrie Ann Inaba, Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli
"You didn't have the biggest role, but you had the biggest part," Ross, to celeb Gilles Marini, on his role in "Sex and the City" feature film
"What is this? Dancing with the vaguely familiar?" Ross, to the three finalists, on their relative "non-celebrity"
"American Idol" is officially the world's hottest ticket: Last night, [ital]Suri Cruise[unital] was in the audience. The star power of Sir Anthony Hopkins' presence was a far distant second.
There was no word on who Suri's backing in the competition between "the guy next door" and "the guyliner," but here's what the judges had to say . . .
Adam Lambert's "Mad World": "It was a little bit overtheatrical," said Simon Cowell. Again.
Kris Allen's "Ain't No Sunshine": "If you can't feel a Kris Allen performance and he doesn't move you, there's something wrong with you," said Kara DioGuardi.
Adam's "Change Is Gonna Come": "I know with every fiber of my being that you will be iconic," said Paula Abdul.
Kris's "What's Goin' On": "It was like three friends in their bedroom strumming along to Marvin Gaye," shrugged Simon.
For the record, Simon gave the first round to Kris, and the second to Adam.
But any high points of the evening were quickly forgotten when the final two had to sing the annual "struggle-and-achieve" money-making single, co-written by Kara. "No Boundaries" wasn't suited for either Adam's histrionics or Kris's mellow. Even Kara acknowledged as much, asking voters to judge on the season's performances as a whole - not on her song. Randy even told Adam his version was "pitchy."
"I'm not going to judge that song," said Simon graciously.
Maybe a duet would make it listenable?
At least the contestants seem emotionally prepared for the outcome. "Me and Adam said we're not competing, we're just coming out to put on a good show tonight," said Kris.
Guest performances for tomorrow night's performance reportedly include Lionel Richie, Carlos Santana, Cyndi Lauper, Queen Latifah, Black Eyed Peas, Keith Urban and Jason Mraz.
God bless 'em, ABC is coming out with 11 new series in the fall. But they're not going out too far on that programming limb: They're building a Wednesday comedy night around Courteney Cox, Patricia Heaton, Kelsey Grammer and Ed O'Neill.
Details:
* "Hank," starring Kelsey Grammer, appropriately plays a corporate exec who's lost his job. It co-stars Patricia Heaton ("Everybody Loves Raymond") as an Indiana mom. Not escapist entertainment.
* "Cougar Town" -- how could it miss with a title like that? -- stars Courteney Cox, who doesn't seem all that predatory to me. She plays a divorcee venturing back into dating waters.
* "Samantha Who?" -- canceled. Reportedly not enough money.
* "Cupid" -- canceled. Again.
* Ed O'Neill ("Married... With Children") stars in a documentary-style show about a family. "The Office," what have ye wrought?
* "Shark Tank" is from "Survivor" producer Mark Burnett. Aspiring entrepreneurs try to talk millionaires into funding their ideas.
* "Eastwick" is inspired by "The Witches of Eastwick." Tough to top Jack Nicholson. And Susan Sarandon. And Michelle Pfeiffer. And, um, CHER.
* "The Deep End" is about four young, presumably hot, lawyers scratching their way to the top.
* The sci-fi "Flash Forward" gives people a glimpse into the future.
* "The Forgotten" is from Jerry Bruckheimer, a procedural about missing persons.
* "Happy Town" is somewhere in Minnesota, and the title seems to be ironic. They've had a lot of kidnappings there.
* "V" is back! They're remaking the unforgettable '80s miniseries.
I tried to watch without taking notes, but there was just so much I wanted to remember. In no particular order:
It will be difficult to live down the nickname "Hot Tub Harris."
The opening montage reintroducing Jillian as America's sweetheart was like a parody of itself. OK, I can see her agreeing to work out on camera. OK, maybe she knows she has to slowly rise out of the pool in a bikini for the camera. But NOWHERE in your contract does it say you have to wash a car in cutoffs and high heels, Jillian!
The guy who froze up. Jillian suggested maybe he faked it to be memorable - or maybe she was just saying that to make him feel better. If he did it as a stunt, do you think it was a smart move? And doesn't he look like a thin "The Rock"?
One guy actually said, "What do you say, you know, to an angel?"
If a guy makes the trip across the pond to be on your reality show, you pretty much are obligated to give him a rose. I am looking forward to Simon's subtitles, though.
Jillian's white dress - wearing that required a HIGH LEVEL OF DIFFICULTY. I saw no evidence of Spanx. And she just looked smashing. Too bad that the producers insisted on wetting down the driveway and sidewalks, though, because the train on her dress looked sopping.
Why is it that the title that says where the guys are from never matches where the guys say they're from?
The winemaker is always going to get a rose. I'm not superficial, but how can you not give him a rose?
Worst tie? It's a tie: between the white tie and the white paisley tie.
Bravo to Kiptyn for admitting he just likes ketchup on his hotdogs. Maybe he can't help it! We're not monsters! We have feelings too!
I wonder what my theme music would be. They played cowboy music for anyone from Texas or Nashville, and Juan got some sultry mandolin. (OK, I don't know that it was a mandolin.) Would I get a little blues instrumental, since I'm from Chicago?
Summary of 80 percent of the conversation:
"Are you excited?"
"Yes, I'm excited! Are you excited?"
If they did away with those "coming up" segments, they'd have time to include more actual footage, and we wouldn't get déjà vu so much.
Kyle inking a mustache on Jillian's finger. Worst move ever?
I could be wrong, but I don't think women really enjoy being lifted that much by strangers. Is it just me?
The breakdance-off? I am without words.
Please e-mail me if you are a man and you have ever thrown a woman a baseball and then said, "So you are a great catch." We should talk.
My money's on Chicago Ed, all the way. Was there anyone else in the room that just seemed ... normal? Unfortunately, I didn't see any of him in the previews. Sigh. I guess that's not the kind of guy who lasts long on a reality show. Loved that he brought up his mom.
The longer the show went on, the more Jillian reminded me of Rachel from "The Real World: San Francisco." Luckily, I didn't sense any Pucks in the bunch.
Tanner P, the foot guy. I'm torn between being entertained by him and being creeped out. I mean, we all have our things, right? I was sad that low arches are a deal-breaker, though. I would never have a chance with him. (For the record, he rated Jillian's feet "phenomenal.") Much more disturbing: Was he wearing a SHARKSKIN jacket?
While Jillian was deciding which bachelors would make the cut, I mused about the next big trend in real estate. "Love the granite counters, but does it have a deliberation room?"
My favorite tie: the light green polka dot.
The lawyer guy from New York didn't get a rose, and went a little far in insulting "the country." I'm assuming he means the suburbs on out? It was funny, though, when he said, "Maybe she doesn't like awesome guys."
Julien, the hunky restaurateur? Suspiciously perfect. Prediction: He will turn out to be a man-bot.
"NCIS" (7 p.m., WBBM-Channel 2): Season finale. The takes off for Israel, and fans are buzzing about which series regular won't be coming home.
"Glee" (8 p.m., WFLD-Channel 32): Don't miss the three-and-a-half-star debut -- as if you could, with its cushy post-"Idol" slot. The tone is somewhere between "Fame" and Reese Witherspoon's "Election," pitting the floundering glee club against the hotshot cheerleading squad. The casting is note-perfect. Standouts: Lea Michele essentially playing Demi Lovato's evil twin, Jayma Mays as a neurotic teacher, and Jane Lynch as the sadistic cheerleading coach.
"Reaper" (10:30 p.m., WGN-Channel 9): A later time slot, due to the Cubs playing the Cardinals.
"90210" (11:30 p.m., WGN-Channel 9): Yes, it's late to stay up, but worth it: Annie (Shenae Grimes) does some over-the-top ugly-crying.
In four short years, the gaudy "Dancing With the Stars" disco-ball trophy has become desired like no other honor. Consider that it has more sparkle than a Heisman, an Oscar and a Nobel Peace Prize combined. And that winner's glow? That's pride. As well as a serious spray tan.
The two-hour finale begins at 8 p.m. Wednesday on WLS-Channel 7, and the competition is as stiff as Ty Murray's hips. Never before have the final three been so evenly matched. Is your vote still undecided? If so, please consult our convenience reference guide.
They are done dancing for season 8. The final three couples, Shawn Johnson and Mark Ballas, Melissa Rycroft and Tony Dovolani, and Gilles Marini and Cheryl Burke gave it their all tonight in the finals competition.
While all their individual dances were potent, it was Gilles who wound up with a perfect score of 30 going into the freestyle part of the competition. I have to admit, he and cheryl were rock-solid out there!
I really wasn't wowed by any of the three freestyle dances, however. There didn't seem to be a lot of originality of moves, or "wow" moments of really breakthrough choreography and execution. You can get the same stuff pretty much from the dancers on any pop star tour these days. Shawn may have nabbed a 30 for her efforts, but I found it uninteresting. It was fun, had a lot of acrobatics thrown in, but maybe the judges just didn't see a few missteps that we saw from our television viewpoint. For Melissa, it was just a case of too many cheerleading moves, and not enough dancing. And for someone with a hairline fracture, she sure moved every which way possible and then some. And I still don't know WHAT Gilles and Cheryl were thinking!! He is my prediction for season 8 champ, and yet he did VERY little dancing in his freestyle routine; most of the time it was Cheryl kicking up a storm while Gilles just stood there as her "frame." This could cost him the mirrorball trophy!!!
Here's to Tuesday night in one of the best finals in this show's history.
(I'm still rooting for Gilles, big-time!!)
The June 2 episode of "According to Jim" is said to be its series finale -- and if so, Jim Belushi will be going out in style. POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD:
An ABC press release says that Jim will choke on a shrimp puff, die, and get as far as the door to heaven. He has to make a case that he was selfless while on earth. But the best part is the stunt casting...
The primetime schedule for FOX adds four new comedies (we need to laugh, I think), two dramas, and one late-night show with the sharp-tongued Wanda Sykes ("The New Adventures of Old Christine"). She promises round-table discussions.
* After Tuesday night's debut of the three-and-a-half star "Glee" (I NEVER get tired of "Don't Stop Believin'"), it will return in the fall.
* "Brothers" is a comedy starring Michael Strahan ("FOX NFL Sunday") and Daryl "Chill" Mitchell ("Ed") about a former NFL player who moves home with his mom.
* The "Family Guy" spinoff "The Cleveland Show" actually has a similar theme. Cleveland Brown (voice of Mike Henry) moves with his son to his hometown in Virginia and takes up again with his high school sweetheart.
* "Human Target" sounds awfully violent, doesn't it? The "event drama" is executive produced by the hot McG (director of "Charlie's Angels) and based on the DC Comics graphic novel. It stars the yummy Mark Valley ("Fringe"), Chi McBride ("Pushing Daisies") and Jackie Earle Haley ("The Bad News Bears"). (I know Jackie Earle has done excellent work since "Bears," but I can't help it, that's how I think of him.)
* "Past Life" is a drama inspired by the book "The Reincarnationist." It stars Kelli Giddish ("All My Children") as a psychologist and Nicholas Bishop ("Home and Away") as a former NYPD detective who work together to solve mysteries in both the past and the present. Because the time-traveling "Lost" doesn't have us addled enough.
* "Sons of Tucson" is a "nontraditional family comedy" with Tyler Labine ("Reaper") as a ne'er-do-well hired by three young brothers who have a father in prison.
Also back:
* "So You Think You Can Dance"
* "24"
* "American Dad"
* "American Idol"
* "America's Most Wanted" (this is starting to feel patriotic)
* "Bones" (renewed for TWO seasons!)
* "Cops"
* "Dollhouse"
* "Family Guy"
* "Fringe"
* "Hell's Kitchen"
* "House"
* "Kitchen Nightmares" (seems like a crossover with "Hell's Kitchen" would be a natural)
* "Lie to Me"
* "The Simpsons"
* "'Til Death"
Gone but not forgotten:
* "King of the Hill" (a moment of silence for Hank and his narrow urethra)
* "Prison Break"
* "Sit Down, Shut Up" (we hardly knew ye)
* "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles"
"How I Met Your Mother" (7:30 p.m., WBBM-Channel 2): Season finale. Ted gives Barney his blessing to finally profess his love to Robin.
"The Bachelorette" (8:02 p.m., WLS-Channel 7): Jillian Harris gets her pick of 30 guys in the premiere, including Chicagoans Brad, 27, a financial advisor, and Ed, 29, a technology consultant. Bring 'er home, boys!
"Rules of Engagement" (8:30 p.m., WBBM-Channel 2): The title of the season finale is "Sex Toy Story." I, for one, am intrigued.
"CSI: Miami" (9 p.m., WBBM-Channel 2): Season finale. Horatio fights to save Yelina. Delko helps his father, with dire consequences. Most important: Brian Austin Green guest stars as an alleged carjack victim!
"One Tree Hill" (8 p.m., WGN-Channel 9): Nothing can separate Lucas and Peyton - except, maybe, a breakdown in contract negotiations. The season finale is the last episode for Chad Michael Murray and Hilarie Burton.
I'm still watching the reunion -- and dying to know if Coach took the lie detector test Jeff offered him -- but I think the outcome of the Tocantins season was actually sort of ... sweet.
Ever wonder how the celebrities and pros look so amazing every week on "Dancing with the Stars?" I mean, besides their spray-on tans and rock-hard bodies? Just who's behind the "wow" factor of every stitch of clothing they wear?
The answer is the man behind every costume on the show since season 2, Emmy-winning costume designer Randall Christensen. He's also responsible for most of the fashions worn by the three judges, and hosts Tom Bergeron and Samantha Harris. And if all that is not enough, he also costumes every guest singing star and Macy's "stars of dance" performance (unless the guest star has specific costuming in tow).
So how does all the magic, no, make that artistry, happen? I spoke to Christensen this weekend to get the 411 on what goes into all those sparkly, sexy and dazzling costumes. Oh, if you were wondering (and because I asked), Edyta Sliwinska's costumes require a measly half to three-quarters a yard of fabric. "She's got the hottest body of any dancer I've ever worked with," Christensen said.
BY PAIGE WISER Television Critic / pwiser@suntimes.com
Nobody can talk dirty like Jane Lynch. She played the folk singer with a proud porn star past in "A Mighty Wind." In "The 40-Year-Old Virgin," she taught Steve Carell's character the term "f--- buddy."
Most of her characters have one thing in common: a carnal overconfidence that thrusts her to the front of whatever ensemble she's in.
"I don't walk through the world like that at all, that openly and obviously," says Lynch by phone from Los Angeles. "I have too much shame."
"Scream, Blacula, Scream" (9 p.m., WCIU-Channel 6): Pam Grier is a voodoo princess. In the movie, I mean.
"Saturday Night Live" (10:30 p.m., WMAQ-Channel 5): Distinguished alum Will Ferrell will be hosting the season finale, so expect some partial nudity. Musical guest: Green Day.
"Mad TV" (10 p.m., WFLD-Channel 32): Unless another channel steps in, this will be the last episode of "Mad TV." Fred Willard, Alex Borstein, Mo Collins, Will Sasso and Debra Wilson Skelton stop by to pay their respects disrespectfully.
SUNDAY
"Survivor: Tocantins" (7 p.m., WBBM-Channel 2): During the two-hour season finale, one happy camper will win a million dollars. Coach isn't one of the four finalists, but maybe he'll write another poem for us.
"The Simpsons" (7 p.m., WFLD-Channel 32): Season finale. When unemployed workers from Ogdenville come to Springfield, Homer gets political and forms a border patrol.
"King of the Hill" (7:30 p.m., WFLD-Channel 32): Season finale. Boomhauer trades homes with a Canadian family for the summer; Hank and the guys have a hard time adapting. As Hank would say, "Yep."
"Saturday Night Live Just Shorts" (8 p.m., WMAQ-Channel 5): Andy Samberg hosts a two-hour special on the short film art form that he has mastered. Who doesn't want to see "Lazy Sunday" again?
"Desperate Housewives" (8 p.m., WLS-Channel 7)" Both Susan (Teri Hatcher) and cute son MJ are in danger. Man, what a rough neighborhood. Also, Lynette (Felicity Huffman) gets some life-changing news.
"Family Guy" (8 p.m., WFLD-Channel 32): Season finale. A psychic reveals that Peter had a past life in the 17th century. And he was a gentleman.
"American Dad" (8:30 p.m., WFLD-Channel 32): Season finale. Hayley and Roger try to attract a frat boy. So it's educational.
"Russell Simmons Presents Brave New Voices" (9 p.m., HBO): The Chicago team doesn't make it to the finals, but one youth poetry slam champion will finally be named in D.C. Queen Latifah, who knows her way around words, narrates.
"America's Funniest Home Videos" (7 p.m., WLS-Channel 7): You didn't think they were just doing it for laughs, did you? This season's three $100,000 winners will compete for the grand prize: a membership in Disney Vacation Club! Priceless.
"Prison Break" (7 p.m., WFLD-Channel 32): It's the finale for both the season and the series. An important face from the past returns, and William Mapother (Tom Cruise's cousin and "Lost" regular) plays an FBI agent. Will Michael (Wentworth Miller) survive?
"The Game" (7 p.m., WGN-Channel 9): The season finale is titled "I Want It All and I Want It Now: The Wedding Episode." Those always bring out the best in people.
"Farrah's Story" (8 p.m., WMAQ-Channel 5): This documentary about Farrah Fawcett's struggle is tough but touching. Ryan O'Neal, her longtime loved one, says, "If you liked her, you're gonna love her" after seeing the film.
It didn't look as though creator Shonda Rhimes would be able to top last week's twisty episode, when Meredith and Derek gave their wedding day to Izzie and Alex. Now I am ashamed I ever doubted her. The two-hour finale dragged at times, but Katharine Heigl, Jessica Capshaw, Sandra Oh, Justin Chambers and Chandra Wilson all got the kinds of Big Moments that pay off at the Emmys.
On "The Late Late Show," the good-natured supermodel told Craig Ferguson that she was fired from "America's Next Top Model" -- and on her 44th birthday!
"It seemed that `America's Next Top Model' had gotten too fat and they needed to cut some fat -- and the fat was me," she said.
I will definitely miss her. As the season went on, Paulina loosened up quite a bit. She could be blunt during panel -- telling the weight-struggling London that her shorts weren't flattering -- but she was a great personality and added credibility to the show.
Over the five seasons of "Lost," loyal viewers have surrendered to the addictive, maddening mystery. Yes, we have questions - What does the smoke monster want? Is Richard wearing eyeliner? - but we gave up hope for answers long ago. There's no way, in the course of just one more season, that the producers could possibly tie up all loose ends, explain their theory of time travel, or even tell us who the good guys are.
They as much as acknowledged it last night, with one character asserting, "We are the good guys." Jeff Fahey's pilot Lapidus responds, "In my experience, the guys who go out of their way to tell you they're the good guys are the bad guys."
Last night's "American Idol" was 98 percent filler and 2 percent predictable. Those of us bored with all the hometown footage were almost rooting for Adam Lambert to be voted off, just for a thrill. But the flamboyant front-runner made it into the final two at the last minute. And even Katy Perry, singing her latest, "Waking Up in Vegas," threw Adam her support - she had his name written across the back of her Elvis-esque cape.
"Survivor" (7 p.m., WBBM-Channel 2): I keep watching, hoping this will be the night Coach is voted off -- with extreme prejudice.
"The Office" (8 p.m., WMAQ-Channel 5): Scranton's finest paper people mix it up at the company picnic. The season finale is also the series' 100th episode.
"30 Rock" (8:30 p.m., WMAQ-Channel 5): There are so many musical cameos in the season finale you will beg them to stop: Elvis Costello, Sheryl Crow, Mary J. Blige, Clay Aiken, Adam Levine and more.
"CSI" (8 p.m., WBBM-Channel 2): The season finale features deadly poker chips. Give them points for originality.
"Grey's Anatomy" (8 p.m., WLS-Channel 7): Will they kill off Izzie, so that Katherine Heigl can focus on such critically acclaimed film fare as "27 Dresses"? It'll be tough to top last week's twisty episode.
I realize that's saying a lot. But the final walk-off between Allison and Teyona at the Rosa Cha fashion show was truly something. The girls oiled up with black grease, and writhed down the runway on their hands and knees, wearing bikinis. At one point, Teyona's weave came out, and she began gesturing with it wildly. This was considered a good thing.
I won't spoil the ending if you haven't seen your DVR recording yet, but go to the jump for the winner.
Jerry, 64, and his wife Estella were eliminated from this season's competition early on. But last night he won the $100,000 prize for being the eliminated contestant with the highest percentage of weight loss.
Jerry weighed 369 pounds when he started the show. Last night, he weighed in at 192 pounds, losing 177 pounds and nearly 48 percent of his body weight.
"Lost" (8 p.m., WLS-Channel 7): What can we expect during the two-hour finale? Sources say the time traveling will stop. But I've given up hoping for answers, and watch now for the Hurley banter.
"America's Next Top Model" (7 p.m., WGN-Channel 9): Tyra Banks crowns Allison, Animat or Teyona as the next fashion superstar. Or, more likely, the next forgettable pretty face. Remember Naima? Nicole? Caridee? Hello?
"Lie to Me" (7 p.m., WFLD-Channel 32): For the finale, the sizzling Jennifer Beals is back as Zoe, Lightman's ex. And it's looking good for the series to be back next season.
"Snakes on a Plane" (7 p.m., FX): Premiere magazine named Samuel L. Jackson's "I have had it with these (compound expletive) snakes on this (compound expletive) plane!" as the 55th greatest movie line ever.
"E! True Hollywood Story" (9 p.m., E!): The latest episode, "Rapper Wives," confirms that, yes, they have finally run out of subjects.
Adam Lambert made the most recent cover of Entertainment Weekly - alone - and last night the judges confirmed his superiority, stopping just short of coronating him.
Ty Murray and Melissa Rycroft were standing shoulder to shoulder, awaiting their fate. Gilles Marlini and his partner Cheryl Burke, as well as Shawn Johnson and her partner Mark Ballas had already made it through to next week's finals.
Cue the thumping music and the eerie red light. And the third dancer to make it to the finals turned out to be Melissa Rycroft, to no one 's surprise.
So the stage is set.
WIll the mirrorball trophy go to the dumped bachelorette? The gold-medal Olympic champion? Or the sexy French actor/model?
All I can say is... ooh-la-la.
And if you need a bigger hint: Gilles will be the winner of this season's "Dancing with the Stars." See you next week!
Susan Sarandon dropped in on Jimmy Fallon last night ("All grown up with your own show!"), and talked about why she agreed to get sexed up with Justin Timberlake in the "Saturday Night Live" video for "Motherlovers."
"My 16-year-old said it would be classic," she said. If it ever comes out on DVD, there will be quite a few outtakes having to do with syrup and whipped cream. The end result was actually restrained, said Sarandon. "I was relieved the classic was so classy."
Sarandon was also promoting a new entrepreneurial venture of hers: A New York "ping-pong bar" called Spin.
Susan Sarandon dropped in on Jimmy Fallon last night ("All grown up with your own show!"), and talked about why she agreed to get sexed up with Justin Timberlake in the "Saturday Night Live" video for "Motherlovers."
"My 16-year-old said it would be classic," she said. If it ever comes out on DVD, there will be quite a few outtakes having to do with syrup and whipped cream. The end result was actually restrained, said Sarandon. "I was relieved the classic was so classy."
Sarandon was also promoting a new entrepreneurial venture of hers: A New York "ping-pong bar" called Spin.
"The Biggest Loser" (7 p.m., WMAQ-Channel 5): Find out in the first 10 minutes if Ron or Mike will face Tara and Helen in the finals. Then settle in with some rice cakes for the three-hour live finale.
"Cupid" (9 p.m., WLS-Channel 7): Say goodbye to the god of love. ABC has broken up with the quirky drama. Again.
"Frontline" (9 p.m., WTTW-Channel 11): A history of Bernie Madoff's global Ponzi scheme, beginning in the '60s when he "invested" for Jewish businessmen.
"The Real Housewives" (9 and 10 p.m., Bravo): The New Yorkers have a catty reunion, followed by the new "Real Housewives of New Jersey." My favorite is Teresa, who spends $120,360 on furniture and says, "I hear the economy's crashin', so that's why I pay cash!"
And that is totally thanks to Gilles Marini for some of the most beautiful, sexy, hot, fiery, gorgeoulsy elegant dancing this show will ever see. What a gorgeous Viennese waltz and fiery hot salsa this Cannes-born and raised Gilles delivered tonight. A perfect "60" for two dances that were simply breathtaking!
(Carrie Ann just couldn't contain herself anymore in her whooping and hollerin' and giddy summation of Gilles and Cheryl's salsa).
And then there was Melissa, who looked tired and very deliberate in places tonight. IHer cha-cha didn' t have the usual fire of her dances, and it cost her; she managed only a 29. In the Latin round it was the cha-cha that did her in; she looked tired, and the dance was very deliberate. She eeked out a costly 27. It's the semi-finals Melissa, and you had to bring it. Seems you left it at the door. Ouch!
Shawn had a weird night. A perfect 30 for her Argentine tango (frankly I thought it paled by comparison to Gilles' waltz) was not sustainable in her goofy jive. Like Melissa, Shawn seemed just "lost" in parts of the jive; it was cute and fast and playful, but I gotta agree (gulp) with judge Bruno, it really did look more like the Lindy hop. It cost her dearly, netting her a measly 26. Ouch redux!
And then there was Ty! No, his Viennese waltz wasn't exactly glistening, but he gave it all he had, earning a very solid 25. What a trooper! In the Latin round, he roped in a solid 23 for his feisty efforts! Unless the viewers save him, he's pretty much done for in terms of competing in the ballroom.
I gotta admit it, I'm glad Gilles is back! (He was one of my early picks for making it to the finals). Enough of the "theatrics" of the past few weeks! He is a gorgeous dancer and he proved it tonight with his perfect turns on the dancefloor.
Predictions? I'm thinking Ty's outta there and it will come down to Melissa, Shawn and my prediction for the series champ, Gilles. But there's still the finals next week, so anything can happen. Hey, stranger things have happened in the ballroom. (Melissa, think Lil Kim).
Stay tuned.
I don't want to take anything away from the brother-sister team that was smart enough, athletic enough, and sane enough to win the race. Yay for family, etc. But I can't get this nagging question out of my mind: Was it fair for Tammy and Victor to dominate the challenges in China, considering that they are of Chinese descent and speak Chinese? Especially considering one of the challenges was, um, to speak Chinese?
The leg was late enough in the race to give them a significant boost. I don't think that anyone should be penalized for specific talents, but it seems like it wouldn't have been that difficult to change the restaurant challenge to something more fair. It would be like casting me in the next season of "The Amazing Race" -- and then scheduling roadblocks in Woodfield Mall. I might even recuse myself.
"Big Bang Theory" (7 p.m., WBBM-Channel 2): Season finale. Will Penny (Kaley Cuoco) and Leonard (Johnny Galecki) evolve romantically? Two more words to pique your interest: "space toilet."
"Gossip Girl" (7 p.m., WGN-Channel 9): We flash back to the '80s, to see a young Lily (Brittany Snow) get kicked out of boarding school. It was supposed to prime us for a spinoff show, which seems to have fizzled. More important, it's prom night! Serena will be in a chiffon Dior gown ($19,650), while Blair wears a corseted one-of-a-kind Marchesa with feathers. "
"House" (7 p.m., WFLD-Channel 32): It's right brain vs. left brain on the season finale.
"Castle" (9 p.m., WLS-Channel 7): Season finale. There's more about the background of Beckett (Stana Katic). Brush up, because she and Nathan Fillion will be back next season.
"The Celebrity Apprentice" (7 p.m., WMAQ-Channel 5): Clear your schedule. The season finale is three hours, live, and pitting Joan Rivers against poker-faced Annie Duke.
"The Simpsons" (7 p.m., WFLD-Channel 32): Jodie Foster provides the voice for a grown-up Maggie in a flash-forward, and Anne Hathaway voices a love interest for Bart. This counts as your high-brow viewing for the night.
"Cold Case" (8 p.m., WBBM-Channel 2): Season finale. The second part of a mystery surrounding the death of a female cadet could be the series finale, too.
"Daisy of Love" (8 p.m., VH1): If you were wondering why Daisy De La Hoya hadn't yet incorporated paintball into her search for romance, wonder no more. The boys are armed for love and war.
"Brothers and Sisters" (9: 01 p.m., WLS-Channel 7): Season finale. The Walkers visit Tommy (Balthazar Getty) in Mexico, to find that he doesn't want their help. The Prodigal Son? Not so prodigal.
"The Unit" (9 p.m., WBBM-Channel 2): Season finale. The super-secret military heroes race to defuse three dirty bombs headed for the United States. The David Mamet-created thriller may not be back next season.
Susan Boyle, Simon Cowell and various talents from around the world will be on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" Monday. According to Harpo, "Internet sensation and "Britain's Got Talent" contestant Susan Boyle welcomes our cameras for a view inside her Scotland home, and makes her 'Oprah' show debut.
Brides Magazine is hosting their first-ever instructional dance series/contest from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. on May 31 at the Drake Hotel, (140 E. Walton Place, Chicago), where engaged couples get free dance lessons (think salsa, waltz, fox trot!) and a chance to win cash prizes toward their wedding expenses. Your wedding has to be scheduled by May 1, 2010 to qualify. One couple will win a $10,000 Grand Prize toward their wedding expenses at the finals (between Chicago, Dallas and New York couples) held in October. Additional prizes include a chance to appear on television and in the magazine.
This interactive all-day event includes hands-on dance instruction, chances to win prizes, bridal-related items from Brides Magazine partners and contest sponsors, and a swag bag for attendees (no purchase necessary; while supplies last).
For complete information and contest rules, and to register for the May 31 Chicago event, check out www.dancingwithbrides.com.
"Bones" (7 p.m, WFLD-Channel 32): "Family Guy's" Stewie (an animated devil baby) appears in a hallucination to Booth (David Boreanaz), possibly the
oddest crossover since Darrin and Samantha Stephens of "Bewitched" moved in
next door to the Flintstones.
"China's Unnatural Disaster: The Tears of Sichuan Province" (7 p.m., HBO): Last May, 70,000 people died in an earthquake -- 10,000 of whom were
children. This documentary details their parents' struggles.
"30 Rock" (8:30 p.m., WMAQ-Channel 5): Jack (Alec Baldwin) begins the search for his real father the same night Alan Alda guest-stars. Coincidence? Or could he be playing Tracy Jordan's newfound illigitimate son?
"Michael J. Fox: Adventures of an Incurable Optimist" (9:02 p.m.,
WLS-Channel 7): After living with Parkinson's Disease for 20 years, Fox explores the half-full glass, visiting Bhutan, where the government measures "gross national happiness."
Allison Iraheta, a neo-Kelly Clarkson with fuchsia hair, was cut last night, leaving an all-male final three: Adam Lambert, Kris Allen and Danny Gokey.
Danny was expected to go home after he slaughtered Aerosmith's "Dream On." At least Danny was able to laugh at himself, saying that he heard his last screeching notes had been made into ring tones.
Allison - never a Simon favorite - was finally brought down by Janis Joplin's "Cry Baby." Allison was teary but defiant at the end.
The rest of show was packed by an energetic No Doubt fronted by Gwen Stefani (who even did pushups), and Daughtry debuting the single "No Surprise." It was also no surprise that Paula Abdul's much-hyped singing performance appeared to have been prerecorded. Listen up, kids: Do as Paula says, not as she does.
John Cleese reunited with co-stars Connie Booth, Prunella Scales and Andrew Sachs to publicize the upcoming 30th anniversary documentary of the making of "Fawlty Towers."
He was a bit crotchety about the state of television today, according to the AP.
"I don't think the writers work as hard as they used to, and I think they may lack experience because I don't think the writing is as good as it used to be," said Cleese, who wrote "Towers" with then-wife Booth.
"But I do proudly say that in the '60s, '70s and '80s we did have the least bad television in the world, and that's quite a claim. I think the main problem now is it's run on the basis of money."
It was just an insane night on "Dancing with the Stars" Tuesday when the results sent shockwaves throughout the ballroom (and pretty much all of television land!). Of course, that paled by comparison to the "Dance Center" segment with Kenny Mayne, Len Goodman and Jerry Rice that featured one of the most hilarious sights in the history of "DWTS": the boys were topless!! Yup, there sat Rice, Mayne and Goodman, sans shirts, with Mane in all his pasty-white glory sandwiched between the very buff Rice and Goodman, who I gotta say, looked great with his spray-on tan and nice physique. Gotta admit, the running bit is one of the highlights of the series, thanks to Mayne's dry sense of humor and Rice and Goodman who will pretty much go with whatever that wild and crazy Kenny has in store.
The L.A. Times' "Idol Tracker" has tracked down the salaries of Simon Cowell and Paula Abdul. Cowell gets about $36 million from each season of the show alone, whereas reports say Abdul gets about $2 million.
Abdul does, however, have a new album coming out -- and we'll get a sample of that on tonight's show. Negotiations to renew her contract as judge have begun, and Cowell has said that all four judges will be back.
"Project Runway" has been gone from the airwaves as NBC Universal and the Weinstein Company sued each other over rights and money. There's finally an air date for the new season on Lifetime - August 20 - but Bravo has helpfully scheduled "The Fashion Show" to tide us over.
It's a shameless ripoff of "Project Runway," but really, is "shame" even part of the reality vocabulary?
The only real innovation I could see from the premiere episode is that "The Fashion Show" has a triangular runway. But Kristin Hassan, 23, of Orland Park, who brings a pink hair streak and an appreciation for pockets to the show, was philosophical about the similarities. "At the end of the day, it's a reality designer competition," she says. "But I'm on it. That makes it better." You can check out her "ethically made apparel" at organikrevolution.com.
Here's how "The Fashion Show" measures up to "Project Runway."
Adam Lambert got a "whole lotta love" from the judges last night for taking on Led Zeppelin's seminal classic -- and showing it who's boss. For rock 'n' roll night, Adam unleashed a petulant delivery and astounding pipes. The handcuffs necklace didn't hurt, either.
"You're more than a rock star," gushed Kara DioGuardi. "You're a rock god."
Allison Iraheta also earned praise for her duet with Adam on Foghat's "Slow Ride." Her version of Janis Joplin's "Cry Baby" -- not so much. Simon was contemptuous. "Just beg" for votes, he advised Allison.
Kris Allen and Danny Gokey impressed with their harmonies on Styx's "Renegade," but underwhelmed with their individual performances. Kris accompanied himself on guitar for the Beatles' "Come Together," but got no bonus points from Simon. "Like eating ice for lunch, it will leave you with nothing to remember afterwards," he said.
Slash, the evening's guest mentor, tried to guide Danny Gokey's interpretation of Aerosmith's "Dream On." Ultimately, he was resigned. "It could go either way," he predicted.
The judges felt it went the wrong way. Danny's screeching final notes went over the top and crashed on the other side. Simon likened it to a horror movie.
Join me tomorrow night for the final three and irreverent live chatter at 7:45 at http://blogs.suntimes.com/tv/
On 'Dancing With the Stars': Home voters defied the judges and sent home Lil' Kim and Derek Hough rather than most-improved dancer Ty Murray. Len Goodman opined that he would miss Lil' Kim's "bionic booty."
"Scrubs" (7 p.m., WLS-Channel 7): It's the season finale, and possibly the
series finale. One thing we know for sure. The janitor, played by Neil
Flynn, will finally reveal his name. Please don¹t let it be Cosmo.
"American Idol" (8 p.m., WFLD-Channel 32): Join in the live "American Idol"
chatter with me at 7:45 p.m. at http://blogs.suntimes.com/tv/. Rock 'n'
roll!
"The Cougar" (9 p.m, TVLand): I never get tired of watching the "kiss-off
ceremony" on this show. Every bachelor is invited to kiss Stacey Anderson,
the 40-year-old hottie. If you're out, though, she dramatically turns away
her cheek at the last second. Psych!
"Reno 911!" (9:30 p.m., Comedy Central): The Pope is coming to Reno, so the
deputies give the advance scouting team a tour. Expect blasphemy.
Just goes to show you... anything can happen in the ballroom.
Case in point: In tonight's elimination round, the setup for next week's semi-finals, it was that super-charged, "Bionic Bootie" herself Lil Kim that wound up exiting the ballroom, instead of the "expected" Ty Murray.
No matter how much Lil Kim shook her "bionic bootie" on Monday night, it wasn't enough to save her from elimination on "Dancing with the Stars."
In an astonishing upset in terms of overall performances up till now (anyone remember Sabrina Bryan's early departure from the ballroom), viewers' votes kept Ty in the running even though he was at the bottom of the leader board Monday night. Lil Kim, who had consistently been in the top five on the leaderboard, was just one notch above Ty after her dismal dancing Monday night. But even the judges' rude comments to Ty couldn't dissuade viewers. Never under-estimate a cowboy with a charming smile!
It's always a bittersweet moment when the show gets to this point and someone is out of the running. I think no one was more stunned than Ty, but I gotta say he has just as much right as anybody else to hold his head up high for the semi-finals round next week. Ty has come a long, long way in this competition, and he has embodied the very essence of the show: He became a ballroom dancer. Go Ty!!!
So here's the set up for next week's semi-finals: Melissa Rycroft and partner Tony Dovolani; Ty Murray and partner Chelsie Hightower; Shawn Johnson and partner Mark Ballas; and Gilles Marini and partner Cheryl Burke. Here's to an exciting night of dancing!
Tonight on "Inside Edition," the ex-husband of Cougar Stacey Anderson, 40, calls her a lousy mom. "She was so absent from school functions and games it just killed me," Steve tells "Inside Edition." "I was making excuses for it to the kids ... mom is really busy. For an entire year she didn't take them for an overnight." Ex-husband Steve has full custody of their son and two daughters.
Stacey denies the allegations. "I am really upset right now," she responded. "I am completely shocked that he went on camera and made such harsh allegations against me."
"The Biggest Loser" (7 p.m., WMAQ-Channel 5): The contestants learn that their final challenge is to run a full marathon. Can anyone defeat steely Tara, the model who¹s already dropped 117 pounds?
"Better Off Ted" (7:30 p.m., WLS-Channel 7): Boss Veronica (Portia de Rossi) tries to boost employee morale in the season finale. Her task is probably made more difficult because the cast doesn¹t know yet if the show will be renewed. So at least watch for sentimentality¹s sake.
"Garage Mahal" (8:30 p.m., DIY): The always-entertaining Do It Yourself network debuts a new series about turning the garage into a flamboyant living space. Coming up: A garage is transformed into a Tuscan-themed wine cellar.
"My Boys" (9:30 p.m., TBS): The sitcom about a female Chicago sports columnist fits like an old shoe. Tonight Mike (Jamie Kaler) tries to Matthew McConaughey. I love Matthew McConaughey impressions.
Jay pledges to get guests "off the couch," and will be targeting more dumb people. Now that it will be going up against so many crime dramas, the motto is "More comedy, less murder." And it has Rainn Wilson's ire up!
Honestly, after tonight's scores, could the judges make it any more personal?
They want Ty gone,and granted, he's not in the same league as the other four remaining dancers, but could the judges be a little more obvious about it?
Melissa's samba had an awkward solo at the very beginning, and yet the judges didn't even mention it on the way to giving her a perfect "30" for what really wasn't that spectacular of a samba (look back at a few really great, fun sambas this season). Yet, Gilles' "opening" solo of his rhumba was labeled quite awkward, on the way to his score of 27. Give me a break!.
Okay Len, Okay Bruno.... Melissa will undoubtedly be back next week. But do you have to be so cruel to Ty to send your message home to viewers: "Don't vote for Ty"? He's made it quite far in the competition, and at the very least deserves the judges' respect. I can honestly say, I rooted all season for Ty, not because I thought he could win, but because he embodied what this show was all about way back in season one: taking folks COMPLETELY out of their element and turning them into respectable dancers. He may not end up with the mirrorball trophy, but Ty Murray is a winner when it comes to dancing.
Still don't know what Lil Kim was thinking with her salsa or her Viennese waltz. This is no time to make the number of mistakes she made throuhgout the routines. Her startling scores of 25 and 27 could really jeopardize her chance at a final four spot. And Gilles, what has happened? His over-danced rhumba left me (and the judges) shaking our heads. What should have been a chance at another 30, wound up a 27, and cost him the lead in tonight's competition. Shawn was equally impressive but again, stupid judgement mistakes were made in the choreography of her quick step routine, costing her a chance at a 30; she had to settle for a 27. She did come back with her 29 for a sizling paso doble.
Tomorrow night's results show is anybody's guess. The competition going into next week's semi-finals is just out-of-this-world intense. I'm predicting Ty goes home Tuesday night, leaving Melissa, Lil Kim, Shawn and Gilles set for the greatest semi-finals in the show's history.
Perez Hilton has the latest photo of Scotland's Susan Boyle, and I think she looks great. I have never really appreciated eyebrow grooming before this.
Chicago's Jenny McCarthy has become Oprah Winfrey's latest teacher's pet, joining an elite club that includes Rachael Ray, Dr. Phil, and that Rosie woman who published a cookbook.
The world saw a different side of natural comedian McCarthy when she went public with her son's autism diagnosis. She believes that Evan, 6, is "recovering" from autism. McCarthy has a blog at Oprah.com, and a talk show is in the works. On the blog, McCarthy calls live-in boyfriend Jim Carrey "my husband" and reports on her battle to give up sugar.
Last week, Jen slowed down her sister Lakisha in Beijing because of her fear of drowning. We expected her to be cut, until Phil told her ... the race will go on! And then he gave her more missions. At this point, I'm guessing Jen just wanted a nap. Instead, she had to:
*Get slathered in garish greasepaint;
*Master Mandarin pronunciation as a waitress;
*Consume fried starfish.
To help get all the "exotic" hors d'oeuvres down, Jen chugged a ton of water -- and at the end, it came down to seconds. She could have run for the mat, but she went for the Chinese Port-a-Potty instead. And so Jen's misery was stretched out for another episode.
"Cook Yourself Thin" (4 p.m., Lifetime): This new series is based on the book of the same name about clever cooking. Today's menu: steak dinner, lasagna and vanilla cupcakes. Does it work? The three hosts are, indeed, thin.
"New York Goes to Work" (9 p.m., VH1): Tiffany "New York" Pollard, who has the distinction of losing Flavor Flav's love twice, now submits to more indignity: She needs a job. Viewers vote each week on where she'll work. Tonight, she'll be a) a ranch hand, b) a baker, or c) an exterminator.
"Escaped" (9 p.m., Investigation Discovery): Gravelly voiced Chicago raconteur Rick Kogan narrates this series, brought to you by Kurtis Productions. Tonight, a 19-year-old girl survives human trafficking, forced prostitution and torture. And Kogan makes it sound even worse.
Recent Comments