The TV Paige

"Privileged" (7 p.m., WGN-Channel 9): Check out star Joanna Garcia, who's been cast as Chace Crawford's new cuddle bunny on "Gossip Girl."

"Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?" (7 p.m., WFLD-Channel 32): It's back, with a hot-dog-eating-champion competing for $1 million.

"Chicago's Summer Blast" (8:30 p.m., WGN-Channel 9): Paul Konrad and Steve Cochran host the Taste of Chicago fireworks, with correspondents at the Columbia Yacht Club and the Adler Planetarium.

"Honor Flight Chicago" (9:30 p.m., WGN-Channel 9): Volunteers ensure that World War II vets can travel to D.C. to see the memorial in their honor.

"Good Night Chicago" (12:37 p.m., CBS-Channel 7): Host Steven Saltz has "Saved by the Bell" on his resume, which is all I need to know. The first episode is an interview with "The Sopranos'" Frank Vincent, and new episodes are in the works for fall.

The New York Post reports that Cablevision is pioneering a 24/7 wedding channel, inspired by the success of "Bridezillas," "Amazing Wedding Cakes" and "My Fair Wedding."

I would so watch that.

I would watch a show with people's home wedding videos; flower girl hissy fits; bridesmaids gone bad; awkward wedding toasts; and definitely a special on wedding hookups.

Any other suggestions?

"The Dirty Dozen" (7 p.m., American Movie Classics): There's no better way to be patriotic. Impress your friends by pointing out who's in Judas's seat in the "Last Supper" scene. And did you know that John Wayne was originally offered the Lee Marvin role?

"I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" (7 p.m., TLC): It's a marathon!

"In the Motherhood" (7:30 p.m., WLS-Channel 7): Naughty Rosemary (Megan Mullally) plans a "living wake" for herself.

"She's Got the Look" (8 p.m., TVLand): You wouldn't think a competition for "mature" models would be so rife with catfights. My pick for this week's freakout: Shelly.

"Soundstage" (9 p.m., WTTW-Channel 11): A showcase for Sugarland.

"Assignment Afghanistan" (9:30 p.m., WGN-Channe; 9): WGN News's Tom Negovan, who was embedded in the heart of the Afghanistan war zone, profiles Illinois soldiers.

Here's hoping that Chicago's not too scandal-ed out by fall, because our political corruption is at the core of CBS's upcoming drama, "The Good Wife."

In the opening moments of the pilot, which airs Sept. 22, a politician and his wife present a united front at a press conference, where he resigns as State's Attorney of Cook County - and apologizes for his "personal failings."

We learn that's a euphemism for dalliances with prostitutes, possibly in return for political favors.

The wife looks the part, in pearls and a crisp houndstooth jacket. But after the announcement, in the hall when they're alone, she slaps him across the face.

Then the show fast-forwards to six months later. The politician is in prison, and his wife has gone back to work at a prestigious law firm to pay the family's bills.

Sound familiar to you? The plot rips several scandals from the headlines, and then purees them together in what promises to be an addicting show - especially for Chicagoans. Judging from the first episode, "The Good Wife" has many real-life inspirations...

"Manhattan Melodrama" (7 p.m., Turner Classic Movies): What was the movie John Dillinger saw just before he was gunned down in front of the Biograph? This one! With Clark Gable and William Powell as pals on opposite sides of the law, who both fall in love with Myrna Loy. Watch for Mickey Rooney as Gable's character as a boy.

"World Music Awards" (7 p.m., MyNetworkTV): An encore of the 2006 ceremony, when Michael Jackson received the Diamond Award from Beyonce, 25 years after "Thriller" was released. Watch for Chris Brown, years before we hated him.

"I Survived a Japanese Game Show" (8 p.m., WLS-Channel 7): Ping pong balls and foam hammers.

"American Masters" (8 p.m., WTTW-Channel 11): A year in the life of Garrison Keillor, traveling from town to town with "A Prairie Home Companion."

Stop working on your "Lost" scrapbooks right now, because Titan Books has done it for you. Subtitled "The Best of Lost: The Official Magazine" (where do I subscribe?), it's lushly illustrated, as they say, and actually quite heavy.

Masterminds Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse are disarmingly honest about the origins and direction of the show. (Example: Will we find out the story of the Black Rock? Not sure!) At any rate, it will tide you over for a while.

Sample chapters:

THE SWAN REVEALED: "We take you deeper into the hatch than you've ever been before."

BETWEEN A ROCKER AND A HARD PLACE: "An interview with Dominic Monaghan and Emilie De Ravin."

FLIGHT PLAN: "Original concept art for Oceanic Flight 815's wreckage."

SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE: "Interviews with the actors behind The Others."

CREATURE FEATURES: "The island's mysterious 'Monster.'"

It would make a nice gift.

Jillian Harris (center), "The Bachelorette," with Wes (from left), Chicago's Ed (who returned to the show last night!), Reid and Kiptyn. (ABC)

First of all, I can't believe that Jillian had to travel to meet FIVE families, get drunk with them all, and make out with five guys. I'm sorry -- at some point, that's work. I love how much drinking goes on with these family visits. It is awkward, after all, and there's no primetime-approved way to administer morphine.

In the middle of it all, the rejected Jake flew to Austin -- I guess that's not such a big deal, considering he's an airline pilot, but I was impressed -- to reveal to Jillian that Wes has a girlfriend named Laurel. In the confrontation, each guy stuck to his story. And then Jake brooded. And cried. I was afraid he was going to jump off that balcony.

I do wish that they'd acknowledge the cameras more. Like Jake saying, "Why would I make this up?" and Wes could say, "To get more air time, duh."

At any rate, Jillian believed Wes, which the producers want us to believe is outrageous, because they are making him out to be an opportunistic, lying cheater who just wants to promote his upcoming album with his lame "It Ain't Easy" song, so he can dump Jillian and reap the rewards of international stardom with some surprisingly understanding bimbo named Laurel. OK, producers, you win. I hate Wes!

And THEN, in the middle of all this, Ed pops by Jillian's hotel room. (I love how she's just sitting on the couch, doing nothing, and then acts surprised when she hears the door knock. Doesn't she at least read People? I'd think that would be required reading for "Bachelorette" contestants.)

I know that Ed did not come back for me, but can I say how happy I was to see him? That is a quality man. I am not basing this just on how good-looking he is and because I've spoken to his mother on the phone, but also because he is tall and has a job.

Jillian makes him sweat it out until the rose ceremony, but does give him a rose, along with Wes, Kiptyn and neurotic Reid, who I hope gets a sitcom out of this. Wes actually left a trail of slime as he walked up to get his rose.

Jesse the winemaker was out, although I loved his grizzly-bear brother, who reminded me of the bearded idiot savant from "The Hangover." (I have difficulty with his last name.)

It was VERY hard for me to say goodbye to Michael. So adorable, so funny, so well dressed, and I would think his dancing abilities would have some obvious benefits. Yes, he's young, so I hope he's reaping the rewards of "Bachelorette" stardom with understanding bimbos right now. Share with your brother, Michael!

I've got to root for Ed now. Is there anyone out there to defend Wes?

"Nova: Musical Minds" (8 p.m., WTTW-Channel 11): What's the effect of music on the brain? Nova investigates, starting with case studies from neurologist Oliver Sacks. One man, who has Tourette's syndrome, is soothed by playing drums.

"Paris Hilton's My New BFF" (9 p.m., MTV): Socialite/dominatrix Paris tortures wannabe pals even further by making them wear pink jumpsuits and stay overnight in prison. At least she knows something about that.

"Rescue Me" (9 p.m., FX): After a devastating accident, Tommy (Denis Leary) has to deal with his feelings. Can you say "dream sequence"?

"Bear Feeding Frenzy" (10 p.m., Animal Planet): Wildlife biologists are appalled that producers tempt 800-pound grizzlies into attacking humans. But it's not all that different from a "Real Housewives: New Jersey" episode.

There's at least one lesson to be learned from all this: Tread carefully when you're naming a show. Whoever came up with "Jon & Kate Plus 8" is probably wishing by now they'd been a bit less specific.

Television shows are populated by people, who are not always inclined to go along with the script - even when it's a "reality" show.

Stars fight. Get pregnant. Get arrested. And it's up to the production staff to make it work.
"People aren't predictable," says Linda Midgett, who was executive producer of the 2003 Chicago reality series "Starting Over." The idea was to give troubled women a second chance.
"We were constantly adjusting our plans for the show based on what was actually happening on the house," says Midgett.

"One night I got a call at 3 in the morning that one of the women had drunk a bottle of vodka," she remembers. "She was a closet alcoholic, was hiding it in the bathroom under the sink and none of us knew it. We realized, whoa. It sort of explained a lot of her behavior."

"The Bachelorette" (7 p.m., WLS-Channel 7): Time for visits to the suitors' hometowns! Always entertainingly disastrous. "They'll love me!" chirped Jillian on last week's episode.

"American Idol" (7 p.m., WFLD-Channel 32): Fox is airing a repeat of the Michael Jackson-themed performance show, with Adam Lambert singing "Black or White," Danny Gokey singing "P.Y.T.," and Megan Joy on "Rockin' Robin."

"Shouting Fire: Stories from the Edge of Free Speech" (8 p.m., HBO): Among the cases considered are Chase Harper, who was suspended from his San Diego high school for wearing a T-shirt that said "Homosexuality Is Shameful" during a gay and lesbian awareness event.

"Dance Your Ass Off" (9 p.m., Oxygen): Chicago's Trice, 24, is one of the contestants hoping to boogie off some weight, if not actual body parts.

A selection of guests on today's talk shows:

SATURDAY

"Small Sacrifices" (2 p.m., THIStv): Farrah Fawcett stars in this true story about a mother who claimed her kids were killed in a carjacking. Wrongo.

"Ellen's Bigger, Longer and Wider Show" (8 p.m., TBS): Nick Cannon - Mariah Carey's husband, earning his keep - is the DJ for Ellen DeGeneres's variety show. With Kanye West and David Blaine performing. Not together.

"Groomer Has It" (8 p.m., Animal Planet): Who will be named Groomer of the Year? At last, we'll have our answer.

"Storytellers: ZZ Top" (9 p.m., VH1): This special was filmed at Chicago's Congress Theatre in March.

"Chasing Farrah" (8 p.m., TVLand): The first two episodes of the bizarre reality series tag along as Fawcett goes to the U.S. Open and has dinner with Ryan O'Neal.

SUNDAY

"Hostile Makeover" (7 p.m., Lifetime Movie): This is rapidly becoming my favorite channel. Another adaptation from the "Crimes of Fashion" book series by Ellen Byerrum, with fashion reporter Lacey investigates a runway show murder.

"Prehistoric New York" (8 p.m., Discovery): Find out what kinds of animals were roaming New York City before taxi drivers took over.

"Comedy You Can Believe in With David Alan Grier" (9 p.m., TBS): Like Martin Short's recent special, this was shot at Chicago's Vic Theater.

"Hung" (10 p.m., HBO): Read the three-star review of Thomas Jane's new series in the Sun-Times on Sunday. SPOILER: There's no full-frontal.

I've been trolling around message boards a bit, but I'm wondering if there's any definitive answer yet as to what Caroline Manzo was so upset about on the reunion. Did Danielle put out a hit on Dina? Hit on Dina's husband? Ding-dong-ditch? Help, I need some "clearance," as Danielle would say...

"Virtuality" (7 p.m., WFLD-Channel 32): From the good people behind "Battlestar Galactica." It's about 12 astronauts, including Clea DuVall and Joy Bryant, who sign up for a 10-year mission in space.

"Princess Protection Program" (7 p.m., Disney): Real-life BFFs Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez co-star in this undercover-royalty retread. But anything with "Princess" in the title is a hit, so you might as well buy the DVD now.

"Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan" (8 p.m., USA): Worth watching Sacha Baron Cohen's movie, if only to see how they edit the naked-men-wrestling scene.

"Let Freedom Hum: An Evening of Comedy Hosted by Martin Short" (9 p.m., TBS): Martin Short filmed this special last week at the Vic Theatre. I'll be watching for a glimpse of Ed Grimley.

Farrah Fawcett was never not going to be a star. Nobody could take their eyes off her. Even in an early Ultra-Brite toothpaste commercial, Farrah radiated youth, athleticism, sunshine, joy, and oustanding dental hygiene.

All-American? Heck, Farrah was hot apple pie.

Her simple, sweet nature shone through her unforgettable turn as Jill Munroe in "Charlie's Angels." But who was Aaron Spelling kidding? There was no way that Angel was going to blend in undercover.