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Tina Fey as Palin, Amy Poehler as Clinton in "Saturday Night Live" skit. Transcript.

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WASHINGTON--Sara Palin wears Tina Fey glasses and look where she is now. Tina Fey returned to NBC's "Saturday Night Live" to play her look-alike in a skit with Amy Poehler reprising her dead-on Hillary Rodham Clinton.

excerpt...
FEY AS PALIN: "It's truly amazing and I think women everywhere can agree,
that no matter your politics, it's time for a woman to make it to the White House."

POEHLER AS CLINTON: "No. Mine! It's supposed to be mine! I need to say something. I didn't want a woman to be President.

I wanted to be President and I just happen to be a woman. And I don't want to hear you compare your road to the White House to my road to the White House. I scratched and clawed through mud and barbed wire and you just glided in on a dog sled wearing your pageant sash and your Tina Fey glasses."

FROM NBC.....

FEY AS PALIN: "Good evening, my fellow Americans. I was so excited when I was
told Senator Clinton and I would be addressing you tonight."

POEHLER AS CLINTON: "And I was told I would be addressing you alone."

FEY AS PALIN: "Now I know it must be a little bit strange for all of you to see
the two of us together. What with me being John McCain's running mate."

POEHLER AS CLINTON: "And me being a fervent supporter of Senator Barack Obama --
as evidenced by this button."

FEY AS PALIN: "But tonight we are crossing party lines to address the now very
ugly role that sexism is playing in the campaign."

POEHLER AS CLINTON: "An issue which I am frankly surprised to hear people
suddenly care about."

FEY AS PALIN: "You know, Hillary and I don't agree on everything..."

POEHLER AS CLINTON: (OVERLAPPING) "Anything. I believe that diplomacy should be the cornerstone of any foreign policy."

FEY AS PALIN: "And I can see Russia from my house."

POEHLER AS CLINTON: "I believe global warming is caused by man."

FEY AS PALIN: "And I believe it's just God hugging us closer."

POEHLER AS CLINTON: "I don't agree with the Bush Doctrine."

FEY AS PALIN: "I don't know what that is."

POEHLER AS CLINTON: "But Sarah, one thing we can agree on is that sexism can
never be allowed to permeate an American election."

FEY AS PALIN: "So please, stop photoshopping my head on sexy bikini pictures."

POEHLER AS CLINTON: "And stop saying I have cankles."

FEY AS PALIN: "Don't refer to me as a 'MILF.'"

POEHLER AS CLINTON: "And don't refer to me as a 'FLURJ.' I Googled what it
stands for and I do not like it."

FEY AS PALIN: "So we ask reporters and commentators, stop using words that
diminish us, like 'pretty,' 'attractive,' 'beautiful.'"

POEHLER AS CLINTON: "'Harpy,' 'shrew' and 'boner shrinker.'"

FEY AS PALIN: "While our politics may differ, my friend and I are both very
tough ladies. You know it reminds me of a joke we tell in Alaska..."What's the
difference...

POEHLER AS CLINTON: "Lipstick."

FEY AS PALIN: "...between a hockey mom..."

POEHLER AS CLINTON: "Lipstick."

FEY AS PALIN: "...and a pitbull?"

POEHLER AS CLINTON: "Lipstick."

FEY AS PALIN(AFTER A BEAT): "Lipstick. Just look at how far we've come. Hillary
Clinton, who came so close to the White House. And me, Sarah Palin, who is even
closer. Can you believe it, Hillary?"

POEHLER AS CLINTON: (AFTER A PAUSE)"I can not."

FEY AS PALIN: "It's truly amazing and I think women everywhere can agree, that
no matter your politics, it's time for a woman to make it to the White House."

POEHLER AS CLINTON: "No. Mine! It's supposed to be mine! I need to say
something. I didn't want a woman to be President. I wanted to be President and
I just happen to be a woman. And I don't want to hear you compare your road to
the White House to my road to the White House. I scratched and clawed through
mud and barbed wire and you just glided in on a dog sled wearing your pageant
sash and your Tina Fey glasses."

FEY AS PALIN:
"What an amazing time we live in. To think that just two years ago, I was a
small town mayor of Alaska's crystal meth capitol. And now I am just one
heartbeat away from being President of the United States. It just goes to show
that anyone can be President."

POEHLER AS CLINTON: "Anyone."

FEY AS PALIN: "All you have to do is want it."

POEHLER AS CLINTON: (LAUGHS) "Yeah, you know, Sarah, looking back, if I could
change one thing, I should have wanted it more." (RIPS OFF PIECE OF PODIUM)

FEY AS PALIN: "So in the next six weeks, I invite the media to be vigilant for
sexist behavior."

POEHLER AS CLINTON: "Although it is never sexist to question female politicians
credentials. Please ask this one about dinosaurs. So I invite the media to
grow a pair. And if you can't, I will lend you mine."

FEY AS PALIN: And as we say in Alaska...

POEHLER AS CLINTON: "We say it everywhere..."

FEY/POEHLER: "Live from New York, It's Saturday Night!!!


"Saturday Night Live" is from SNL Studios in association with Broadway
Video. The creator and executive producer is Lorne Michaels. Steve Higgins
produces. Marci Klein and Mike Shoemaker are producers. Seth Meyers is head
writer. Don Roy King directs.

22 Comments

Tina hit it dead on! Amy does a great Clinton. I think they could have done more with the sexism issue (non-issue) but I thought they were funny!
GObama!

The first time I saw Palin, I thought of Tina Fey... and Tina did not disappoint! Hilarious!

Tina Fey NAILED Palin. Great impressionists go beyond the superficial similarities and get to the essence of a person. Just listen to the way she says,"...and I can see Alaska from my house". Comedy has always been a great political tool because it forces us to look in a mirror and face the truth.

OOPS! I meant "Russia"!!! Guess I'm having a "Palin" moment...

I think Tina Fey is more qualified to be Vice President than Palin. For that matter just about anyone is as qualified as Palin, Tina was dead on.

This is the funniest piece I've seen in a long time, it proves that politics can be funny and if this idiot get's to the White House SNL & others will have an unlimited amout of material.

Tina Fey's "Sarah Palin" reminded me of EDITH PRICKLEY (Andrea Martin from SCTV). Too bad Tina wasn't wearing a leopard dress!

Perfect, and perfectly hilarious.

Heaven help our country.

The SNL skit was funny, although I wonder how many will understand that each of the two women are parroting the extreme polarities that sexism hides behind in our country?
Be too intelligent, attractive, or driven to succeed and a female will be demonized, dismissed or demoralized. The lines and skit, while quiet humorous deal with a serious issues that a vast majority of women face each and every day.

There are many women in this country that have trained sub-par males, only to watch them hop ahead of her in corporate America. Just as there are countless women who while employed are shuffled in to occupations that will always pay less; even when given the exact same title as their male counterpart.

If this election session has done anything positive in the scope of society, it has reopened the topic of sexism; in addition to reawakening many women to the continued injustice they face on both micro and marco levels daily.

Former 38 year member of the Democratic party.. Go PUMA

Tina is so hilarious and did a great job of making fun of Palin, and the lines were great on how both Clinton and Palin used their feminity in this campaign. Bravo Tina!

Saturday Night live has to be the worst show on TV and that's saying something. I watched because of Micheal Phelps. The Palin/Clinton was funny. The rest of the show was not funny.

Tina Fey was hilarious! She even nailed Sarah Palin's accent and teeth sucking!

Lighten up Maggie. Good Grief..
It was hysterical..

Tina and Amy were great together. Would love to see Tina do the "interview" with a Charlie Gibson "type". I hope SNL can get her to come back for a few more performances!

Watching my telly from the confines of Darfur,"saturday Night Live" the two ladies, Tina & Amy realy made my day and practically erased all the stress I had in me. Good jolly joke my girls!Go gals GO!! for the white elephant!In 20xx, you 'll be there. I believe.

Small town mayor and two years later possible president. Great another anti-intellectual White House. Are Americans really this dumb?

The skit of tina fey as sarah palin on Saturday Night Live, also featured Amy Poehler reprising her role as Hillary Clinton. It was a pretty funny skit, regardless of your political views. Sarah Palin Special Report

THE SAD PART ABOUT THE SKIT IS THIS IS WHAT WE
TRUELY GET FROM PALIN, SHE IS JUST A STAGE PROP!
SHE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO GOVERN A CITY OR A STATE,
AND SOME OF YOU WANT HER TO RUN A COUNTRY!
WAKE UP, BEFORE WE ALL END UP ON SATURDAY NIGHT
LIVE, THE SKIT WILL BE CALLED DEPRESSIONARY TIMES!

Without Hillary--it's close enough for them to steal ---Lynn---can't you run something about the caging voters mail scandal hitting Oh and Fl?

I love watching the lefties coming absolutely unglued over Governor Palin. Keep it up, kids! Barry Hussein and Hairplug Joe's numbers continue to drop thanks to you!

Anybody/Palin '08
Palin/Anybody '12

I'm so glad we get to make our own choice when we vote - though I suspect MSM wants to choose for us.

This female engineer, who has also won beauty contests, can change my tires and oil is voting Palin. Aren't you glad we still have a choice? I am.

Biden is so soft on Iran just like Jimmy Carter--I just wouldn't feel comfortable with him as VP.

I eventually did figure out which of the 7 distinct Bush Doctrines, Charlie was talking about, but either he doesn't understand or was trying to confuse the issue.

Wake up! First of all Palin never won a beauty contest as she claimed. She came in second. If you want your tires checked and your oil changed then go to Jiffy Lube. Our country needs a serious CHANGE and not Lies like McBush & Palin continue to give us. Get over the whole female thing. We need Obama/Biden period! Don't vote for someone simply because she is a woman!

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Lynn Sweet

Lynn Sweet is a columnist and the Washington Bureau Chief for the Chicago Sun-Times.

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This page contains a single entry by Lynn Sweet published on September 14, 2008 7:32 AM.

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