Sports Pros(e)

Chris Douglas-Roberts has swine flu

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 16:50:14 -0600

New York Nets forward Chris Douglas-Roberts has tested positive for the swine flu, according to Nets president Rod Thorn.

The second-year player out of Memphis had already been sidelined with flu-like symptoms.

"The word is out," Douglas-Roberts tweeted moments ago. "Thank you all for your concern. I stay positive though. Still got a beautiful smile on my face."

The 6-7 forward is averaging 15.6 points and 4.8 rebounds through five games played this year.

Are you concerned with who Jay Cutler really is?

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 09:37:33 -0600

Our own Rick Telander penned a column today that explored the perceived lack of information we have about who Jay Cutler really is.

In it, he points to the fact that the gunslinger has been here over six months and all there is to judge him on are seven football games, eight-second soundbites and a plethora of blank stares. His point, at least it seems to me, is that Cutler should be more transparent. That the most important Chicago sports figure since Jordan should have a personality that fans can latch on to.

At this point, I'll ask a few questions of my own.

Why?

Do we really care about the people inside the jerseys anymore?

It sounds callous, but in an era of free agency when players switch teams constantly, aren't fans more concerned with on-field results more than ever before?

Look around. In baseball, many of those guilty of using performance-enhancing drugs have been welcomed back into the fold. Some are celebrating a World Series win (looking at you, A-Rod).

Michael Vick's return to the NFL shows that second chances are -- and always will be -- afforded to those with the talent to make an impact on the field.

It's my contention that if society is willing to look the other way on matters of ethics and morals, then why would they take such umbrage with an athlete being reserved -- or even boring?

Personally, if a quarterback can go out and throw for 300 yards every Sunday, I could care less what he does and says the rest of the week. As long as he's not breaking the law or embarrassing the team, he can weird it up anyway he wants if the results stay the same

Answer questions in Pig Latin?

Fine, just lead a fourth-quarter comeback.

Quote Monty Python to the point of annoyance in the post-game interview?

It's cool, just make the Pro Bowl.

Just sit there like a bump on a log?

No problem with that, as long as you fly all over the field on gameday.

Perhaps, I'm wrong. Maybe the lion's share of people out there want a gregarious, transparent superstar. They want the face of the franchise to have some character.

The question for me, though, isn't who Jay Cutler is. It's if we care.

New Mexico women's soccer player Elizabeth Lambert turns soccer into MMA

Fri, 06 Nov 2009 09:13:27 -0600

Today is not a good day to be Elizabeth Lambert.

The New Mexico women's soccer player has to wake up with the realization that a large portion of sports-loving America has seen her on-field antics against BYU on Thursday.

And by antics, I mean hair-pulling, punching, slapping, squeezing and anything else that would fall under the umbrella of dirty play.

I like that "SportsCenter" needed to trot out soccer expert Julie Foudy to tell us that this type of behavior is over the line. We may be largely ignorant on soccer, but it's pretty obvious that yanking someone down by their ponytail doesn't qualify as good sportsmanship.

If there's any silver lining to all this, we did find out what it takes for a collegiate women's soccer game to make the morning highlight show.

Joe Girardi stops on way to Disneyland to help woman in car accident

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 13:47:45 -0600

Funny, that doesn't look like the Jaws of Life, Joe. (AP)

World Series-winning New York Yankees manager Joe Girardi may not walk on water, but he's apparently one step closer to sainthood in the Bronx.

Not content to simply end the torturous nine-year championship drought for the Bombers, formerly Chicago Joe took time after the celebrations were over last night to come to the aid of a woman in an car accident, lohud.com reports:

"The guy wins the World Series, what does he do? He stops to help," said Westchester County police officer Kathleen Cristiano, who was among the first to arrive at the accident scene. "It was totally surreal."

Girardi and Yankees pitcher Andy Pettitte had actually passed Cristiano earlier in the night at a drunk driving checkpoint before the Yankee skipper came up on the minor spinout. The driver, Marie Henry of Stamford, Conn., was uninjured and declined treatment, apparently. And there were no charges in what police described as a simple loss of control of the car.

In fact, the only crime was that Henry apparently had no idea who Girardi was:

"The driver didn't know it was him until after I told her," Cristiano said.

Once again, thaaaa Yankees win ... Yankees win!!!

Andres Nocioni arrested, accused of DUI

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 11:57:00 -0600

Former Bull and current Sacramento King Andews Nocioni has been arrested on suspicion of drunk driving, according to Sacramento police.

Police Sgt. Norm Leong said Nocioni was stopped while driving in downtown Sacramento at about 2 a.m. Thursday.

Leong said Nocioni's vehicle was seen weaving and an officer smelled the odor of alcohol on Nocioni's breath.

Nocioni was booked into the Sacramento County Main Jail on misdemeanor charges of driving under the influence of alcohol and driving with a blood alcohol content of 0.08 percent or higher. Bail was set at 1,482.

Nocioni, a native of Argentina, spent four-plus seasons with the Bulls before being dealt to the Kings last season.

Can't make this stuff up: Man dressed as Breathalyzer test gets cited for drunk driving

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 10:44:34 -0600

There's nothing funny about drunk driving, but when a man whose Halloween costume is a Breathalyzer test gets arrested for a suspected DUI, it's sort of amusing.

An Ohio man dressed as a Breathalyzer test for Halloween found himself blowing into one after police stopped him for allegedly driving the wrong way without headlights on a one-way street. Oxford police said they stopped 20-year-old James P. Miller on Halloween night and found beer in his front seat and in the trunk.

Police said Miller blew 0.158 percent on a Breathalyzer test. The legal limit for driving is a blood-alcohol level of .08.
Miller was cited on charges including operating a vehicle while intoxicated, underage possession of alcohol, having an open container and a fake ID, and a one-way street violation.
Miller had no comment when reached at home Wednesday.

Report: White Sox get Teahen for Getz, Fields

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 09:58:19 -0600

The White Sox have traded infielders Josh Fields and Chris Getz to Kansas City in exchange for infielder-outfielder Mark Teahen, according to the New York Daily News.

Teahen hit .271 while connecting on 12 home runs and driving in 50 runs last season. The 28-year-old lefty has spent his entire five-year career with the Royals.

Fields, who was supplanted as the everyday third baseman by Gordon Beckham, also spent time in left field and first base for the White Sox this year. His .222 batting average in 79 games, along with Beckham's stellar rookie year made his move more likely.

Getz, a second baseman, hit .261 in his first full year in the majors and stole 25 bases.

White Sox beat writer Joe Cowley reports there is no comment from the White Sox at this time.

Hall-of-Famer John Riggins wants you to know the Redskins are awful

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 21:02:22 -0600

First, a full disclosure: I grew up in Virginia singing "Hail to the Redskins" and worshiping at the alter of Hall-of-Famer John Riggins as the team dominated all before them in the 1980s.

So I now know how fellow Pros(er) Kyle feels watching the Lions. Somewhere between sick to my stomach and just plain heartsick. It's a bumbling team that at one time not long ago was the class of the NFL - OK, similarity with the Lions ends there - that's become a conundrum of underperforming talent and a league laughingstock that winless teams look forward to on the schedule.

But I'm nowhere near as upset as Riggins, who currently is hosting a video series and lighting up Twitter with his ideas on why the Redskins have become one of the worst teams in the league. "Head" coach Jim Zorn ("he could be a good high school coach") and General Manager Vinny Cerrado ("He should go on radio ... be an analyst") receive the brunt of the Diesel's wrath.

And as if that weren't enough, he's also taking his assault on Daniel Snyder's (the worst NFL owner ever?) heaping pile of steaming football team to "Inside the NFL" on Showtime reports Brad Biggs.

Keep on blasting away, Riggo, like you did back in the day:

Florida Gators linebacker Brandon Spikes 'suspends self' for entire game

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 18:31:43 -0600

Florida Gators linebacker Brandon Spikes has been at the center of controversy since CBS' cameras caught him attempting to gouge out the eye of Georgia Bulldogs fullback Washaun Ealey last Saturday.

The dirty play drew a 30-minute suspension from Gators coach Urban Meyer -- a punishment that was deemed fair by the SEC.

In the court of public opinion, however, sitting Spikes down for a half didn't exactly play well. Many thought he deserved at least a game, if not more.

Today, Spikes decided to step up and decided to take himself completely out of Saturday's game against Vanderbilt.

"I want the guys to prepare without any negative things going on, and I feel like if I would play it would be a big thing going on," said Spikes, who will return to the lineup Nov. 14 at South Carolina. "I'm just trying to stay out of the way, just motivate the guys. I'm pretty sure the (coaching) staff's got my back, and my teammates really support me in this decision."

Although his actions against Georgia were pretty sickening, you've got to respect him for taking his punishment like a man -- and then some.

Brian Urlacher and Jeremy Piven love them some World Series

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 18:21:14 -0600

It's definitely not what any NFL player wants, but sustaining a season-ending injury in the opening week has its perks.

Like catching Game 6 of the World Series live with Ari Gold.

That's sidelined Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher with Evanston native Jeremy Piven in the Bronx before the Yankees and Phillies take the field. What Urlacher is doing was referred to as "double-lettering" back in school. That's wearing your fraternity sign twice in one outfit (shirt and hat). It was frowned upon then, but considering No. 54's size and strength, I suppose we should just let it slide.

Fans petition to keep Larry Johnson from becoming Chiefs' all-time rushing leader

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 14:58:51 -0600

If it wasn't painfully obvious before, it looks like Larry Johnson's time in Kansas City is coming to an awkward and ugly end.

In an online petition to Chiefs GM Scott Pioli, disgruntled fans are asking that the running back be deactivated in an attempt to keep him from surpassing Priest Holmes as the team's all-time rushing leader.

Johnson is 74 yards behind Holmes and currently serving a suspension through Nov. 8 for taking coach Todd Haley to task and making several homophobic slurs.

As of Wednesday afternoon, the petition had some 1,400 signatures.

Here's some of the anti-Johnson, pro-Holmes language contained in this electronic document:

"We are asking you, as fans of this team, this organization, and of the pride that this city has in the Chiefs, please deactivate Larry Johnson. Please do not let his name sit atop the all-time rushing leaders in Kansas City Chiefs history," the petition says. "He has never represented anything close to the values that we have for our Chiefs and it would be another dagger to the fans that continue to support this proud franchise.
"We are asking this as a favor to those of us who have supported this team long, long, long before you were brought in," the petition continued. "We will support you through thick and thin -- you will find out that we are a loyal, loyal bunch. ... However, allowing Larry Johnson to attain a record is something that can never be erased."

There's two ways of looking at this. The first is that Chiefs fans should take what they can get in Johnson, considering that this has already been a woeful season (1-6). The other is seeing this as taking a stand, winning an off-the-field victory in that aforementioned miserable season.

Either way, it's a stark example of how fast things can change in professional sports. In both 2005 and 2006, Johnson rushed for over 1,700 yards and was lauded by fans as the next big thing. Now, many of those who rushed out and bought his jersey are the same who never want to see it on the field again.

A win away from another World Series, do we still hate the Yankees?

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 10:23:26 -0600

For a Midwesterner, it's as if the New York Yankees are a guilty pleasure. They're up there with celebrity gossip, cookie dough ice cream and the occasional romantic comedy. You don't want to let people on to the fact that deep down, you actually like them.

I'm not speaking about myself, but at least a handful of people have expressed the following to me this postseason:

"You know, normally I'm not a Yankees fan, but I wouldn't mind seeing them win it this year."

The first reaction, of course, is to be repulsed. People who root for the Yankees are the same ones who root for the Empire in the "Star Wars" movies. They same who pull for Johnny Lawrence in "The Karate Kid."

But, as we stand on the precipice of what would be the twenty-seventh World Series victory for the Yankees, is it possible that this version of the pinstriped gang is more palatable?

Video: Is that Tim Floyd breaking up a fight at a casino?

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 09:29:21 -0600

Tim Floyd resigned as USC basketball coach in June, leaving him with a lot of time to fill. The basketball-less journey apparently led him to the middle of a rather raucous casino fight -- one that conjures up images of the best "Jerry Springer Show" moments.

And just as his steadying hand calmed worked-up power forwards and hyperactive shooting guards, it pacified the tumultuous souls at the gambling establishment.

Again, this is a coach our own Rick Telander put on par with Michigan State's Tom Izzo during March Madness.

Hope he got his bill comped after this peace-making effort.

Vicente Padilla shot in the leg

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 22:04:27 -0600

Vicente Padilla's offseason is off to a rocky start.

The Los Angeles Dodgers right-hander was accidentally shot in the leg while at a Nicaraguan shooting range.

Originally, it looked like the wound was self-inflicted, but the current report indicates that Padilla's bodyguard may have fired the shot.

In other news, sending Spanish-language articles though Google's translator is a lot of fun, but not conducive to full understanding.

Padilla, an 11-year veteran, has a 98-85 career record and finished the 2009 campaign with the Dodgers after beginning the year with the Texas Rangers. He went 1-1 in three postseason starts.

Women's handball coach Gunnar Prokop pulls a Woody Hayes

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 13:17:37 -0600

As crazy coaching moments go, Gunnar Prokop tries to give his best Woody Hayes effort and ends up slightly less infamous, but no better than the disgraced THE Ohio State University coach.

When Hayes punched Clemson defender Charlie Bauman in the 1978 Gator Bowl after a game-sealing interception, he put himself on a one-way express train to loserville, being fired the next day never to coach again.

For his part, Prokop, coach of Austrian handball team Hypo Niederoesterreich, one-upped Hayes in that he hip-checked an opposing player in the women's Champions League game. But he doesn't rise to the level of incredulity since nobody outside the rabid Austrian women's handball fan base noticed.

Still, it's another coach gone after a crazy moment, though Prokop fell on his own sword without being pushed to make amends. Thankfully, he's already in the city Sigmund Freud made famous for psychoanalysis, so he'll be able to spend his newly acquired free time figuring out why he just had to hit a girl.

"I will go through this with a psychiatrist. ... I still can't understand why I've done this."

The match ended in a 27-27 draw. Handball's European governing body opened disciplinary proceedings against Prokop. A ruling is expected before his team's match against Krim Ljubljana on Sunday.

We will, of course, be waiting to see justice done here.