So that happened.
Michael Vick authored one of the most impressive quarterbacking efforts, well, ever, last night in a 59-28 laugher.
The Philadelphia Eagles quarterback threw for four touchdowns, ran for two more and piloted the offense to 45 first-half points.
No road team has ever taken that many into halftime.
Vick was a one-man fantasy dynamo. He singlehandedly erased what looked like an easy personal victory. Surely, thousands of others suffered this fate around the country. It's hard to be mad, because it was just too much fun to watch.
The question of the moment is a fair one: Is Vick the league's best player?
Before you answer, consider his video-game-like stats this season.
He's compiled a sky-high 115.1 passer rating, thrown for 11 touchdowns without an interception and added another 341 yards rushing ...
Terrell Owens, a wide receiver on the 2-7 Cincinnati Bengals, took the opportunity to opine on former teammate and dramatic co-star Donovan McNabb's shiny, new five-year deal.
"How do u justify a 78 million dollar contract w/this type of performance?" he tweeted during the Eagles' evisceration of the Redskins.
McNabb threw three interceptions in the rout, but also accounted for two touchdowns and 295 yards through the air.
You'll recall that Owens recently took a shot at McNabb's conditioning on a reality show about the wideout's life that you don't watch.
In other seedy news, Eagles center Mike McGlynn accused Redskins safety LaRon Landry of spitting in his face. Not once, but twice.
Oh, and then there's this.
Landry denied any such saliva shooting occurred.
Spitting, or allegations about spitting is apparently the NFL's hot new jam.
Just last week, Miami Dolphins linebacker Channing Crowder said Baltimore Ravens fullback Le'Ron McClain of similar actions.
Rachel Uchitel, perhaps the most visible of the alleged Tiger Woods mistresses, opened up about her role in the scandal.
Spoiler alert: she regrets it.
At the risk of being redundant, you've got to wonder why more people aren't talking about the glaring safety risks that jamming a football field into Wrigley has presented.
Maybe I'm just being paranoid, and I hope I'm wrong, but it seems like we could have some interesting collisions with the outfield wall and the one down the right-field line.
And finally ...
On the list of things you don't want to happen, getting robbed by a clown while you're using the facilities has to be near the top.