But, as they always do, the wheels of progress must move on. Today, Paul's successor was named.
World, meet ... Paul. That's right, they are calling this one Paul as well.
The new tentacled phenom will be introduced to the public next week. Brace yourselves ...
The people of Cleveland continue to take LeBron James' departure in stride. A radio personality hired a witch doctor to put a hex on the one-time crowd favorite. The doctor used a combination of bones, blood and a James jersey to complete the on-air curse.
The show's host, Rover, explained his best-case scenario:
"A broken leg, hand or other debilitating injury would be the best outcome," says Rover. "At the very least a sordid sexual misconduct accusation against LeBron would be alright I suppose."
This is the world we live in.
In more uplifting news ...
When you think nuns, what do you think of?
Right. Baseball cards.
A Baltimore convent is auctioning off a Honus Wagner baseball card that is expected to bring in between $150,000 and $200,000 despite it's poor condition. The same card in mint condition sold for $2.8 million.
Proceeds from the sale will go toward the organization's ministry in 35 countries around the world.
"Gossip Girl" stars Blake Lively and Penn Badgely have ended their three-year relationship. XOXO.
Sterger-Favre, Day 21
Allison Torres, a friend of Jenn Sterger, says she was with the ex-New York Jets employee when she allegedly received those racy pictures from Brett Favre.
Torres, a fellow Florida State Cowgirl, claims Sterger was a frequent target for celebrities wanting to hook up. Coincidentally, trying to find a SFW image of Torre is one of the more frustrating ways to spend an afternoon.
Remember the good old days when Favres on-again, off-again retirement was the exhausting story line? Never, ever thought we'd miss that.