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Artie Lange's suicide attempt lands him in hospital -- Page 6

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artie-lange.jpgHoward Stern sidekick and "Beer League" star Artie Lange was hospitalized this weekend after a suicide attempt at his Hoboken apartment, according to the New York Post.

Sources tell the paper the bulbous funnyman stabbed himself nine times, including three deep wounds.

A bloodied Lange was discovered by his mother Saturday morning.

The 42-year-old has battled addiction in the past and has been absent from Stern's show on Sirius radio for over a month.

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love you Artie - find a way to live with those demons so you can live with us...and back with Howard

While I love old Artie, I wont miss hearing him tell the same stories over and over like my drunk Uncle who forgets he has already told them a 100 times. Stay away Artie. The enabling show has finally reached its toll and you can finally either get some "REAL" needed help (not some pampering health club with enemas) or worse, finally finish the job you started and leave the planet. Hopefully you can succeed in getting better and then you can fall down the ladder like Jackie but with a whole lot more money to live on but stay away. The show has done nothing but enable you to prolong the inevitable rock bottom and maybe, just maybe you have. But kiss goodbye the earnings. No more of those $300K weekend gigs that you just hate doing and whining about and god forbid get up on Monday and work the greatest job on the planet. Yeah, life is rough Artie. Oh I forgot, you are the only person on the planet to have lost a parent prematurely. Whaah

some people have no respect. Artie please get better and come back as soon as you conquer those demons. F the critics!!!!!!!

Too fat for suicide

I hope Artie is laughing at Gizzy's priceless comment; he'll probably steal it for his act. Beat me by a hour Gizzy!!!

We love ya Artie...........


Too fat for suicide. My friend, that is funny. And probably true the way he tried it. Even Artie would get a laugh from that line.

Artie, I hope in all this you find what you need. You're a talented man and an inspiring comedian. People will always find something to complain about, but you're a huge contributor on the Stern show and your stand-up routines are second to none. You're a big-hearted guy and deserve all the best wishes. Good luck buddy.

This sucks. I was on the show in September of 2009, and outside the studio, Artie was without a doubt the nicest guy there. It's so strange and sad that in my life experiences, the funniest people I have ever known have been the most deeply disturbed. Sometimes Artie talks too much, but it has been hard to listen to the show over the last month since he's been gone. Yes, Stern rules, but Howard won't get over this. I'm afraid he won't renew his contract.

I hope he doesn't return to the show...I'm tired of him...what a loser, can't even do a suicide right...


I'll be happy to ensure you need teeth implants, all of them. Just post back an address so I can make that happen. You are a disgraceful puke.

Better days to you Artie. Most of the rest of us cannot wait for you to get the help you need and get better.

Sad dude, that you would do this to your mother after ALL you've put her through. All the resources you have to help yourself, use them. If not for yourself, do something to make those who have done SO much for you over the years believe you appreciate them! Don't be a coward...demons or not.

I agree with Mike. Suicide deserves no respect. Dealing with your life and problems and moving on everyday is worth respect. Waaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!

Whaaa I make more then 80% of the popultion , Whaaa i make $65.000 a night , Whaaa I work on the Howard Stern show 5 hours a day 4 day's a week ,Whaaa I sold out Carnegie hall in minutes Whaaa I'm being driven to work every day ,Whaaa I have a number one seller (book), Whaaa i have a hot girl friend , SORRY no sympathy at all

Gizzy - comedy gold!
Artie needs a revamping. Mike A's got valid points too.
Addiction sucks. But responsibility trumps!
Only one person can change for Artie - Artie.
But listen, he's so admiring of dudes like Belushi and wishes he had the same he'll likely self-implode all the way.

i wish i could say i was shocked when i heard this. i am glad he failed and i do hope he gets some good solid help. this is going to rock the stern show pretty hard.

So sad. Drugs and alcohol have a powerful affect. And when under the influence you don't know right from wrong. I'm praying for you and your family Artie. You have to want to be healthy and force your way out of this intoxicated cloud. :-(

Artie is a very funny guy. Hes what makes the show great. I hope he fully recovers and gets help.

What a loser....To try to kill himself in such a bloody and groosum maner when he knows that it would be his own Mother that would find him in that conditions shows complete hate of Everyone. That Fat Bastard could have swallowed a handful of Pills get the job done right and his mom would have found him in a peaceful state. F-HIM!!

Good Work Stern . you have mocked belittle , and have call Artie A "degenerate drug user" , and "loser" many times as a big fan of the show i have heard you do this , don't try to say it is not so . most Stern fans are sheep ! to hear anyone say " Stern Rules " at this time is sad , but true. Stern you do rule . and this is all at your feet ! good work jerk !

This breaks my prayers are with the Lange family.
Artie needs help and I guess this is his big WAAAAA for it. (sorry Artie, couldn't help myself)
Love you Artie and miss you on Stern. Get well.

I have several comments,
Mike Augisfat, your a idiot!
Jeff M, your a idiot!
Nick N, your a idiot!
Gainer, your a idiot!
Dax, your a idiot!
Lets get real for a second, until each and everyone of you have walked in his shoes, money, fame, temptation, u better step back and take at yourself, because you have no idea how you would have handled the situation. Your right, whaaaaa, but remember hes a human being, with feelings and problems, just like u and I !!!!

waaaa I stabbed myself nine times.waaaaa

Well said Mike Augisfaton. Its time for Artie to move away from the show....its time for a new chapter for the Stern show.....his perfmance on the show has been on a downward spiral for years. And c'mon....,what an attention whore. There's a million ways to successfully commit suicide , if he really wanted to. "Waaaah", indeed.

Talk about kicking a guy when he's down. If you'd ever had a friend, relative or spouse struggle with addiction, you wouldn't be judging Artie now. It's like calling a blind person clumsy for bumping into you. There's already enough pain and grief in this situation to go around and I can't imagine why anybody would want to add another layer of negativity to it. I hope to hear "Uncle Artie" repeat his stories for many years.

To Augisfat and Todd D,

I will pay you to have 5 minutes with you. Give me your address. I will pay you. Done deal, pal.

Artie is a great comic and is great on stern show he has been missed since he has been gone... i wish him well with his demons..we love you, you baby gorilla.. get well

I think Artie is one of the greatest comics to come out the 90's TV weekly comedy shows. Most of the others are probably cleaning off tables and bussing dirty dishes today. Whether or not he goes back to the Howard show, I only hope that one day he can turn his life around and continue his is making people laugh(including himself).

Please stop with cynical and rude comments regarding Artie health and wellbeing. Show some compassion for a fellow human being regardless of your disgust or hatred you may have for the man. He is obviously in a great deal of pain and anguish. I can only imagine what he and his family are going through during this difficult time. Shame on everyone! Get well soon Artie.

We are here if you need us Artie....Hang in there.....

Artie is one of the many reasons I listen to the Howard Stern Show. In fact, I pay to listen to him and Howard. I struggle when he's gone and I'm saddened by this news. I send my concern and love to Artie and his SUPPORTIVE family. I hope you come back soon.

We love you Artie. Think of the good times and how you make your fans laugh. Jetison the negative. See you on the Stern show in the near future.

Look at you. You sick, pathetic, baby gorilla. Hopefully this is the end of your demented and selfish path to destruction. If you care about anybody but yourself, then get the "best that money can buy" help you have available to you. Stop making the people who care about you suffer.

Artie, my husband and I are huge fans of yours. You make us laugh so hard and are so talented, please don't let this addiction kill you. It's not worth it..So many people love you and are praying for you. Ask God to help you and He will. This will pass, life is so worth living!Don't do this to your mom, she already lost your dad...she needs her son. Your life has tremendous value. May God restore you. You will feel happy again....Just do the right things, listen to those who love you.


I have been listening to the Stern show for over 20 years.. Just want you to be well.. YOu are a great guy, with a big heart.. YOu are a giver. You are always helping out everyone, except yourself.. Find it in you to Love YOU!!! Once and for all.. try to find out why you Hate YOU so much.. It will not be that hard.. Once you find all this shit out, life will get easier.. GO visit some Island or Ashram somewhere and have nothing but YOU around.. (of course get a baby sitter!!) But if you only have water, sand, organic foods, yoga, nuts and f'n berries and NO distractions...... YOU WILL FIND ONLY YOU, NAKED AND STRIPPED DOWN TO NOTHING... NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH.... YOU WILL THEN FIND OUT WHY YOU HATE YOU, SO MUCH...... when you get there, you will find all the demons.. get rid of those f'n demons.... once this happens, let me know....You will feel better..

Ahtie, I was just talking to Mary Jo and we ah so sad that you won't soon be joining many ald stahries to rehash...try the (Joe) Buck knife next time and aim a little hiyah wheyah ya homo (rhymes w/ romo) haht used to be you miserable hack

woo, feeling sorry for him

Suicide attempts whether successful or not are not a laughing matter. Being in a family where I have dealt with that issue radically changes the way you see people who are crying out in there own way to escape demons that grow out of control. Be lucky, all of you folks responding in a sarcastic manner about Artie, that you are not faced with those type of demons or know somebody who is, or should I say; you don't yet. While I am all for freedom of speech, keep in mind Karma has a way of making it's rounds and visits to those who knock a man down, who is already down.

love to artie, the greatest comic

He just wants attention... if he really wanted to do it he would have used a gun... or OD on all of those drugs he loves so much! To successfully stab that fatass he would have had to use a sword.. nice going a-hole... you claim to love your mother so much but then you do this? Imagine how the poor woman must have felt to find her son in a pool of his own blood... nice one Artie... it's over now.. Howard Stern isn't going to have you back.. you psycho.. you're lucky he let you back after throwing shiit to people.. everyone has demons get over it!

Art is a funny person, a great comedy wit, but I think in a weird way he wants to embrace the belushi/farley image, and possibly thinks death will help him accomplish that, along with his self image to his family, and his relationship with stern, I think he feels life is slipping away, and figures it's worth it to die, he just needs to wake up straighten up for himself, and push the scales of comedy, to realize he isn't the Richard pryor, and just be Artie

Although I have never met Artie, he has been a huge part of my day for the past 9 years and I oddly consicer him a friend of mine. His absence is hard on me and I miss him. It's like haveing one of my closest friends leaving my life and I am sad. Not sure if he will come back on the air, but seems like he needs to get well more than he needs the show.

Artie your fans love you and support you as much as your family. were hurting for you and crying with you. get better, heal, and get the assistance with your loss and problems that you need. want it Artie, want it.your talent is great but your worth as a son, a friend, a boyfriend, and a man is greater, way greater. May God keep you and watch over you!

Artie has paid more than his fair share of dues in life. We're with you Artie! Be strong, stay positive and get your as* back to good health.

Yes,we love you all the time .Don't be cowered,supporting you whatever happened.

You guys are terrible w/ some of your comments. I never heard of the guy til this incident, but shame on all of you. It doesnt matter if you have everything in the world, it doesnt make you handle life or problems any better than the homeless drunk on the corner.

The only comment I would make would be: no man over 40 should be dating a woman in her 20's. Two generations seperate them. He needs to find a gal closer to his own age and mentality.

Get well dude. Get in some counseling, there is no shame there. Count your blessings, you have so many, and I'm not talking about anything material.

Spot on, Tony Elka!

All you haters are just sticks of meat who bought Sirius subscriptions. What about YOUR Mom Kristi F? Or YOUR family? SIRIOUSLY? Pfffttt! So easy to torpedo someone, when you are anonymous.

What do you THINK you know about his life? What about you, sweethearts? I'm sure you are all a bunch of perfect people. Maybe you should apply for his job... laughable!

I can see you all now... picking up a maple bar, and a crappy cup of coffee everday at 7-11 or Starbucks, and rushing back to your car so you can bitch to yourself about how "You would make the show better", from the unpaid drivers seat of your Toyota! Lemme guess.. you drive a Benz.. who the eff cares?

Artie was funny for me, and funny enough for people who make MULTI-MILLION dollar deals, including Howard. So, your whack opinions mean NADA among the millions of listeners... cuz you will still listen to Howard, no matter who he puts on. If it's good enough for Howard.. fine by me.. he's the genius.. you just shake your head yes.

Have any of you haters even known a loved one who tried, or actually commited SUICIDE? I have seen both. It's sad.. it leaves a pit in your stomach that never goes away. Maybe that's where the anger is coming from for some of you... You don't blame them, because YOU think it's cowardly! It is just something that you accept, and move on.. cuz it shakes you to your soul, makes your blood run cold, makes the hair on your neck stand up at times, and gives you nightmares. After that, you cry a lot. Usually, suicide involves a gun, or pills, or jumping off a roof, slashing your wrists.. something easy.
I have NEVER heard of somebody trying to stab themselves 9 times! That business is intense!

So, go get another bagel or whatever "normal" people do on their morning commute. Focus on your own life for a few. I'm sure your kids are STOKED that you are such A-Holes. Hopefully, you aren't spewing this crap to them.

Good luck Artie! Hope to see you again soon in another Multi Million dollar grossing endeavor. Get well! Peace!

You have all hit some great lots of folks my life has been affected by addictions and suicide, including that of my younger brother. And yes, it is cowardly in a sense, especially to have your mother see it. All I would say is that none of us truly understand his situation or emotions, but clearly he isn't well. I think his condition transcends joking, but some don't agree. There are lots of copout excuses for people who have no empathy or compassion. Artie, forget about the Stern show. It doesn't define you...maybe you will be back, maybe not. In the big scheme, who cares? Take care of yourself and get to the root of your issues. Lots of people care about you and would even if you were half as talented. Wish you the best.

yo man keep on livin o and joes not my name-great fan

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