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Perfect holiday gift - dress like Tiger Woods' *alleged* favorite mistress

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YE Tiger Woods.jpg

How much is this worth on eBay?

Have you finished your holiday shopping yet? Got that perfect gift, fashionable yet sexy, for the significant other?

Well, if you're scrambling to fill the boxes under the tree, this could be your lucky day.

Rachel Uchitel, who spent loads of our precious time on Earth denying an affair with Tiger Woods, will now see some of her clothes hit the eBay auction block. And you thought this scandal had already hit rock bottom.

Here's the mysterious press release content, promising a future announcement on the sale brought to you by club owner JE Englebert about clothes acquired by some waitress and without much detail on the method of acquisition:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

Outfit of Rachel Uchitel, the 1st alleged mistress Tiger Woods to be auctioned off !!

A New York City nightclub owner has the VIP Hostess outfit of Rachel Uchitel, the 1st alleged mistress of superstar golf player Tiger Woods. Club owner JE Englebert will announce a press conference soon showing off the garment and announcing his plan to auction it off on Ebay.com to donate the funds to a domestic abuse charity. "When Woods and his wife decided to go clubbing at 230am in the morning this turned into domestic abuse" "They apparently couldn't decide between using the wood (tree) or the iron (fire hydrant)" says Englebert. Englebert received the garments from one of his waitresses who want's to keep anonymous whom worked with Rachel at TAO Las Vegas where Rachel was a VIP hostesses. Reports state that Rachel Uchitel was offered hush money from the Woods camp to keep quiet about her affair in the amount, between $1 and $3 million dollars.

Oh, but it's all for charity? Well that makes it all better.

And how does one achieve the status of "1st mistress," anyway? Is it arbitrary? Alphabetical? Application-based? Tryouts?

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3 Comments

Elin should dump Tiger, then he can join Amway along with his numerous "girlfriends", as Amway also screws anything that moves. Amway is a scam, and here's why: Amway pays out as little money as they can get away with, so they support the higher level IBOs ripping off their downline via the tool scam. As a result, about 99% of IBOs operate at a net loss, while the top 1% make several TIMES more from their Amway tool scam than from the Amway products. Read about it on my blog, I suggest you start here: http://tiny.cc/D5oJh and forward the information to everyone you know, so they don't get scammed.

Tons of crazy photos of Tiger and Rachel Uchitel leaked at www.tinyurl.com/racheltiger

Is Tiger really athlete of the decade?
Despite all the chaos of the past few weeks, Tiger Woods was announced 'Athlete of the Decade' by Associated Press. Is this justified? I mean, Tiger is more of a businessman than an athlete. Golfers are not 'athletes' anyway. Does Colin Montgomeery look like an athlete to you? Many sports bloggers listed on sports index www.dozensports.com say that the real athletes of the decade were people like Lance Armstrong, Roger Federer or Coby Bryant, at least they break into a sweat in their sport. Tiger was just a brand.

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This page contains a single entry by Craig Newman published on December 17, 2009 5:13 PM.

Even Michael Phelps feels sorry for Tiger Woods was the previous entry in this blog.

Mesa tightens purse strings as Cubs stay silent on Spring Training is the next entry in this blog.

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