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The Hoosiers have a football team? That's news to me.

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indiana football.JPGBY JUSTIN ALLEN Sports Pros(e) Senior Indiana Football Correspondent

A little more than a week ago, the purveyors of this blog asked me, a non-honors graduate of The Indiana University, to write a preview of this year's IU football team. Interesting idea.  Headlines began to race through my head:

Indiana Football: Rich with tradition and stuff

This year's Hoosier football team promises to be better than last year's at helping pass time until basketball season 

Indiana Football: Achieving excellence in tailgating for more than 20 years

Truth be told, in my four (plus) years in Bloomington, I went to a grand total of three-ish football games, but went to more than 90 tailgates across the street from Memorial Stadium ... go figure. So naturally, a preview of IU football from me was a tall order.  

Why so cavalier in my non-fanness, you ask?  Well you see, Hoosier football is just awful.  Sorry to be so blunt, IU fans, but the numbers don't lie.  Since 1990, they've only won 84 games, including a 19-13 squeaker against Eastern Kentucky last Thursday night.  Now, I'm no math whiz, but my calculator tells me that's an average of 4.6 wins per season over the last 18 years.  Not good.

This year's team promises to be the worst in recent history, especially after all-conference quarterback Kellen Lewis was dismissed for violating team rules (apparently, it's a rule to be a subpar football player).  Add an injury-plagued offensive line and a local Bloomington kid running the "Pistol" offense (don't feel bad, I had to Google it to figure out what it was, too), and you've got yourself a recipe for a one-win season.  

Naturally, this attitude nets me quite a bit of flack from my fellow Hoosier faithful who religiously gather for every game at Joe's on Weed Street. and Kirkwoods Bar in hopes of a weekly miracle.  "It's not the kids' fault!" "It'll be better this year, you'll see!" "You should support your team no matter what!"  "You need to pay for that beer, sir!" But give a fella a break.  I'm already an ardent Cubs, Bears and Bulls fan, so forgive me if I don't have any more room for another perennial loser.  

So my prediction for this year's Indiana Hoosier football team?  They'll finish 1-11, just barely missing a bowl selection.  But, hey, don't lose hope just yet, Hoosier fans.  I've been wrong before.  Besides, right now they're tied for first in the Big Ten with nine other teams.  Neat!

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1 Comment

Your logic sounds kind of like "Daddy drinks because you cry." You deserve all the flak you get.

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