BY JUSTIN ALLEN Sports Pros(e) Senior Indiana Football Correspondent A little more than a week ago, the purveyors of this blog asked me, a non-honors graduate of The Indiana University, to write a preview of this year's IU football team. Interesting idea. Headlines began to race through my head:
Indiana Football: Rich with tradition and stuff
This year's Hoosier football team promises to be better than last year's at helping pass time until basketball season
Indiana Football: Achieving excellence in tailgating for more than 20 years
Truth
be told, in my four (plus) years in Bloomington, I went to a grand
total of three-ish football games, but went to more than 90 tailgates
across the street from Memorial Stadium ... go figure. So naturally, a
preview of IU football from me was a tall order.
Why
so cavalier in my non-fanness, you ask? Well you see, Hoosier football
is just awful. Sorry to be so blunt, IU fans, but the numbers don't
lie. Since 1990, they've only won 84 games, including a 19-13 squeaker
against Eastern Kentucky last Thursday night. Now, I'm no math whiz, but
my calculator tells me that's an average of 4.6 wins per season over
the last 18 years. Not good.
This
year's team promises to be the worst in recent history, especially after
all-conference quarterback Kellen Lewis was dismissed for violating team rules
(apparently, it's a rule to be a subpar football player). Add an injury-plagued offensive line and a local
Bloomington kid running the "Pistol" offense (don't feel bad, I had to
Google it to figure out what it was, too), and you've got yourself a
recipe for a one-win season.
Naturally,
this attitude nets me quite a bit of flack from my fellow Hoosier
faithful who religiously gather for every game at Joe's on Weed Street. and
Kirkwoods Bar in hopes of a weekly miracle. "It's not the kids'
fault!" "It'll be better this year, you'll see!" "You should support
your team no matter what!" "You need to pay for that beer, sir!" But
give a fella a break. I'm already an ardent Cubs, Bears and Bulls fan,
so forgive me if I don't have any more room for another perennial
loser.
Your logic sounds kind of like "Daddy drinks because you cry." You deserve all the flak you get.