The Cubs "7th inning stretch" officially jumped the shark last night.
Ironically, it took Richard Dreyfuss--he of "Jaws" fame--to send it overboard.
The guy admitted he had not watched a game since 1988. He had no idea Bill Murray was a Cubs fan. And, he rambled on about how screwed up our country is. Just what we want to hear while watching America's Pastime.
If you missed it, here's some of the transcript:
Richard Dreyfuss: Great to be here, but I've got gum on my shoe.
Kasper: Oh, really.
Dreyfuss: That's a gum joke.
Kasper: How many times have you been to Wrigley.
Dreyfuss: This is the first time.
Kasper: And your thoughts?
Dreyfuss: It's like being in the Second City.
Kasper: Because that's where we are.
Dreyfuss: And everyone is dressed better than me. Which is really...that's a tough one.
Cubs color commentator Bob Brenly: The good thing about Wrigley Field is we don't have a dress code here. Come as you are.
Dreyfus [giggling]: I don't have a thought code.
Kasper: You're from Brooklyn, right.
Dreyfuss: Yeah, I'm from Brooklyn. I was there when the Brooklyn Dodgers were there and then they went to L.A. and they followed us out.
Kasper: So, your earliest baseball memory would be?
Dreyfuss: Sitting behind a big pillar and not being able to see anything. [actually, a pretty good line; but then]
Kasper: You can do that here, actually. [a great line]
Dreyfuss: I was wondering if that was déjà vu or just my meds.
Kasper: Well, you brought up the meds. One of m favorite movies, "What about Bob." A big Cubs fan Bill Murray played Bob in the movie and you were Dr. Leo Marvin.
Dreyfuss: [and I'm pretty sure he wasn't kidding]: Is Bill Murray a big Cubs fan?
Kasper: Oh, he's one of the biggest Cubs fans in the world.
Dreyfuss: Now, I think you [Cubdom] would do a lot better if you got rid of Bill Murray. [Another decent line]
Here's where it went really south.
Kasper: I know that you would like civics to be more of a focus.
Dreyfuss: Yeah, to say the least. I think that um, you wouldn't get on an airplane and hear the uh, a voice on the loud speaker say, we're going to take our pilot from mid... from economy class. And that's what we do with running the country. Running the country is the most complex thing in the world and we treat it as if it's nothing. And that's why we are the first generation to have failed in the oldest principal of our nation, which is our future is more important than the past. We've let down our kids completely. They not only don't know what due process is, they don't know how to balance a checkbook or hammer a nail and, uh, they act as if, we act as if the 21st century is going to be a cakewalk and it ain't. And we all know it.
A pitching change. Thank God!
Dreyfuss rambled on saying such things as "the last game I remember was Kirk Gibson in '88."
To which Kasper replied: "You were there."
Dreyfuss: No. I watched it on TV.
Kasper: THAT'S the last game you remember?
As the inning dragged on, Kasper stopped asking questions of Dreyfuss and tried to focus on play-by-play. I found myself starting to feel sorry for him, especially when several foul balls prolonged the agony.
So, Dreyfuss decided to interview himself.
Dreyfuss: If you had asked me, I would have [played center field]. Absolutely. Better than Manny Rodriguez.
[Loud, hearty laughter from Kasper and Brenly]
Kasper: Who's Manny Rodriguez?
Kasper: Were you referring to Manny Ramirez.
Dreyfuss: Oh, Ramirez. Yes, Ramirez. Was I ethnically incorrect, there.
More foul balls.
Kasper: How long are you in town?
Dreyfuss: Three, four days for a film festival.
Kasper: Are you in them? I hope you are.
Kasper: Richard Dreyfuss, thank you very much.
Dreyfuss: Thank you...and I hope you guys win...and ...[he continues to ramble on as the director wisely cuts to the commercial]
When they came back from commercial, Kasper and Brenly breathed a sigh a relief.
Then Kasper said: "That was interesting."
Len, Bob...we feel for you.
Please, Cubs, bring out the hook for the 7th inning stretch. It's time to kill the shark.