Because we live in America --and more importantly -- because someone signed off on the whole idea, three elephants were pitted against three human beings in a bun-eating competition today at Brooklyn's Coney Island.

As you'd expect, the elephants crushed their competition, collectively eating 505 hot dog buns in six minutes compared to a palty 143 total racked up by the homo sapiens.

While this event lacks the gravitas of tomorrow's human vs. human competition, it did make for some compelling, if not slightly awkward footage on the local news.

A cursory tale of the tape seems to suggest that this wasn't really a fair fight at all.

Ringling Bros. Animal Stewardship Director Janice Aria says the elephants enjoy bread and can eat a foot-long loaf in 1.6 seconds.

Organizers say the humans weighed about 500 pounds combined, the Asian elephants about 9 tons combined.

Elephants outdo humans in NYC bun-eating contest     (AP)