It's a constant struggle for minor-league baseball teams to get people out to the ballpark. One of the tried-and-true methods of putting fannies in the seats is to employ ridiculous promotions, such as the one the Grand Prairie AirHogs will trot out on June 13."Games like "Guess How Many Buns Are in My EZ Bake Oven" will be among the featured events when minor-league baseball's Grand Prairie AirHogs host "Octomom Night."
In honor of the Suleman octuplets in California, the independent league club said Wednesday it will also have a Diaper Derby and a stroller race the night of the June 13 game.
Groups of eight or more will be offered half-price admission and if the AirHogs score eight or more runs during the game, every fan will get a ticket to another game.
Now, I'm all for baseball and capitalism, but this sort of thing just seems embarrassing to everyone involved.
But, because I'm a solutions-oriented person, Iet's offer the team some ideas for better, less lame ballpark promotions.
This is where you come in. What would be a good theme for a minor-league squad looking to drum up interest?
This is where you come in. What would be a good theme for a minor-league squad looking to drum up interest?
Where's the e-mail link so I can send this story to my friends?
Is the "Sarah Tolzien Kids Night" coming up next?
I assume this is an April Fool's joke, but if it's not, I'm all in favor of people lampooning the ridiculousness of having eight babies at once when you can't afford the six you already have. If you behave like a clown car, you deserve to be treated like a circus.
Other fun games for this promotion:
-How many peas in the pod?
-How many baby dolls in the giant fishbowl?
-How many pennies in this miniature piggy bank (representing her total lack of financial wherewithal)
How about...
-Pin the hungry baby on the mother's bosom
-A dartboard where the "darts" are the ultrafine needles used for artificial insemination
-A dunk tank with the actual doctor who did this. Also, piranhas in the tank.
While we're at it, let's have Bernie Madoff Night, where all the money from ticket sales goes to one guy who then keeps the money and doesn't give out any tickets so no one gets to go to the game.
And then we'll have Rod Blagojevich night...every seat goes to the highest bidder. Also, free hair helmet wigs to the first 1000 fans who can say more than 16 swears in eight seconds.
I THINK SHES HOT!!!!! SHOULD MADE IT BOBBLE HEAD NIGHT WITH HER BEAUTIFUL LIPS ALL PUCKER UP!!!!!!