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The Detroit Lions attempt to boldly go where no team has gone before: Celebrating the perfection of perfect imperfection

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lions1.jpgYou're driving on the interstate and you see a horrific crash. The traffic slows and your heart races. You don't want to look, but you have to. It's one of those indelible traits hardwired into us.

We can't look away from a mangled tragedy.

We can't look away from miserable failure.

We want to. We should. But we can't.

The Detroit Lions -- even in the eyes of the most wide-eyed optimist -- are helpless. They're a mangled, irreparable mess. They've lost all 15 of their games this year and 22 of their last 23 overall.

In short: they are that crash. And we are those gawkers.

They'd long to be a laughingstock. People stop laughing when it gets too depressing, too pathetic.

Their much maligned general manager, Matt Millen, was finally driven out of town. They haven't won since. Reporters are asking about the marital life of coach Rod Marinelli's daughter. The starting center is challenging fans to fist fights.

Mercifully, the Lions' season will end on Sunday in Green Bay. They'll be attempting to become the first team to lose all 16 games in a season.

Just one year after the New England Patriots achieved a perfect regular season, we may see the most imperfect one.

The Lions have not won in Green Bay this century, are 10.5-point underdogs and most importantly, have done nothing to instill any kind of confidence in anyone. But none of these seemingly important facts have kept cornerback Nick Fisher from doing his best Joe Namath impersonation.

" "I think we're going to shock a lot of people with a great game. I feel like we're going to win," he said. "Not to take anything away from Green Bay, but we're a great football team. I know the record doesn't show it, but I'm going to say it."
Growing up in Michigan and learning the game through jaw-dropping Barry Sanders runs, it has been sad to see the decline of my favored team. I went through the typical phases of denial, grief, anger and acceptance. I even tried to defect to the Chicago Bears -- a two-week experiment that may ultimately cost Lovie Smith & Co. a playoff spot and confirmed I am a football fan pariah.

But I wonder if I'm alone in my desire to see the Lions lose yet again. A 1-15 season is putrid, terrible and embarrassing. An 0-16 season is historic, unbelievable and something many thought they'd never see. And honestly, at this point does it even matter if they win one game?

Lions fans are resilient. They are able to pick themselves up from the mat after particularly brutal losses. This season has knocked down even the most hardcore fans for the count. I doubt if an improbable win in Green Bay will do anything to buoy confidence for the future.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe the masses want to see Detroit rise up and shock the world. Maybe they're the underdog everyone can root for. It's unlikely. But then again, so was an 0-16 season.

So here's to being perfectly imperfect. To excelling in never excelling. To reaching the pinnacle of the lowest points.

It's been a disastrous, gut-wrenching season of epic failure. It'd be a shame to ruin it now.

One thing is for certain.

We'll be watching.

Lord knows we can't look away.

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6 Comments

When you're worse than an expansion team and the team has been in the league since 1934,you have got to wonder if it is all about the almighty dollar,as long as people continue to attend Detroit Lion games I guess there is no sense in making any effort to build a contending team,the Ford's are profiting anyway so why up your overhead by incorporating top of the line GM's players or coaches.Vern Campbell,Kalamazoo,MI 45 year Lion fan

Kyle responds: You gotta wonder about a lot of things Vern. Namely, if there is ANY hope for the future. Sorry for the past 45 years.

Yes, Nick Fisher, you and the rest of your lot are a "great football team." Likewise, Terrell Owens is a "great teammate"; Rob Parker is a "great journalist"; Gary Bettman is a "great commissioner"; and Michael Jackson is a "great babysitter."

Thank you, Nick Fisher, for providing even more absurdity to this situation. I thought it couldn't be done...but you, like the rest of your teammates, never fail to let me down. "The Run for None" continues.

The 2008 Detroit Lions: GO-FER THE OH-FER!!!

DA LIONS WILL ROAR SUNDAY 27 -20 .

The Detroit Lions are so bad even P.E.T.A. wants 'em put down

Kyle responds: Well played, sir. Well played indeed.

If your rooting for the Lions to loose your not a Lions fan. It makes me sick because I know every one of these idiots will be doing anything to get tickets if and when they turn it around.

I'm a Tiger fan and I was at, at least one game a homestand in 02 in an empty stadium. Now I can't get a ticket. I can't stand bandwagon fans.

Just root for your team in the good times and the bad.

Kyle responds> What are you getting out of your relationship with the Lions?

Moved to Detroit in 97, I went to a Lions game once (back in 02 or 03, they managed to beat the Bears at home .. I think they only won one other game that season, maybe two)..

I don't know a damn thing about football, except that the Lions suck. And always have.

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This page contains a single entry by Kyle Koster published on December 27, 2008 1:09 PM.

Wake up and link: Randy Johnson refuses to go away, free movies online and violence on the Gaza Strip was the previous entry in this blog.

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