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Rewriting History: Detroit Lions don't deserve a clever headline

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Around this time every week, I usually sit down and do a little revisionist history regarding those clawless cats that are the Detroit Lions. It's light-hearted, fun and downright therapeutic. Normally an actual news article has to be dissected, redacted and essentially ruined until it conveys exactly how bad these Lions are.

Tonight, the work has already been done for me.

Lions season officially over 
  Detroit Free Press

"Matt Millen was speechless when a reporter approached him at halftime.

They were on the right path -- to the unemployment line.

Stay the course and pay no attention to that fast-approaching iceberg.

The front-office comedian looked as though he finally had seen enough Sunday. If creating a coaching staff in his own image was Millen's objective in his third try, he succeeded.

Rod Marinelli is as clueless as his boss.

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I tried, I really did. I wanted to be your go-to guest blogger on the scene in the mitten state. I felt good about last weeks report and the fact that our boys delivered what I expected. But yesterday? The boys took on all the moves of a two-dollar stripper. ( I don't know any but someone once told me a story about them) Not even the slightest insinuation of a tease. Nothing new or creative or innovative on how to lose a ballgame this time. Yup two dollars about covers it. Hope to do better next week.

Kyle responds: Two bucks doesn't get you what it used to. At least you have the Cubs, right?

Ask Kevin if he wants me to rough out a "why does God make Cubs fans suffer?" or a " just where do the Cubs fit into God's plan?" story for him so it will be there when the inevitable happens.

Kyle responds: Hide the sleeping pills. It's hard to take issue with a plucky young kid with such optimism.

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This page contains a single entry by Kyle Koster published on September 21, 2008 11:50 PM.

Cubs clinch NL Central Division 2008; fans prep for playoff push by converging at Clark and Addison was the previous entry in this blog.

Miami Arena implodes, loud noises ensue is the next entry in this blog.

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