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Rewriting History: Detroit Lions tackling issues, not Falcons

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lionsweek1.jpgFor those of you not familiar with the Rewriting History segment, here's a crash course. We take the headline of the day surrounding our team of choice and attack it with the big, red teacher's pen until it reads how we want it.

Kevin handles the Bears. I handle the Lions.

Obviously, today was not a good day to be me.

Atlanta burnin' behind Turner, anyone lucky enough to touch the ball against hapless Lions

RB's 220 yards break record; rookie Ryan looks like a general man who capitalizes on anemic defenses

HOTATLANTA -- Matt Ryan hopped down the field to celebrate after his first NFL pass, toppling center Todd McClure along the way.

That was about the only stumble as the Atlanta Falcons started a new era hurt the feelings of the Detroit Lions pretty badly.

Ryan became the first quarterback in eight years to throw for a touchdown with his first pass, former Northern Illinois Fightin' Huskies star Michael Turner rushed for a team-record remarkable 220 yards and the Atlanta Falcons put Michael Vick Ron Mexico in their rearview mirror with a 34-21 victory over the Detroit Lions on Sunday.

''We wanted a fast start, and I thought we did that This game reminded me of when the really good team in "The Little Giants" crushed the horrible team after the star linebacker of the weaker squad decided she wanted to be a cheerleader,'' said new coach Mike Smith, who had never been a head coach at any level until the Falcons gave him a shot.

Atlanta scored on its first three possessions for a 21-0 lead before the first Game Break even took place. Ryan (9-for-13, 161 yards), the third overall selection in the draft out of Boston College, looked worthy of the starting job bestowed on him after just three preseason games. He hooked up connected with Michael Jenkins on the third snap of the game for a 62-yard touchdown pass.

The running game did most of the catastrophic damage, with Turner handling the bulk of the load. Atlanta's big free-agent signee broke off a 66-yard touchdown run, scored again on a five-yard romp and had another touchdown called back by a penalty out of pity for the Lions. Even with that setback, he averaged 10 yards on 22 carries to break the team record of 202 yards set by Gerald Riggs in 1984.

''I always wondered what it would feel like to break a record,'' Turner said. ''It just happened feels like breaking a record.''

The Lions resembled, well, the Lions, showing just how meaningless the preseason their existence is (they had won all four exhibition games) and slipping to 31-82 since the start of the 2001 season. They surrendered a staggering 318 yards rushing, a Falcons franchise record which is just way too many.

''It happened, and it was bad The Falcons rule,'' coach Rod Marinelli said.

Jon Kitna (24-for-33, 262 yards) threw two touchdown passes for the winless Lions, hitting Roy Williams from 21 yards and Casey FitzSimmons on a one-yard score, but was seen jawing on the sideline with receivers coach Shawn Jefferson, though they appeared to make up. with his palms toward the heavens and looking exasperated.


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Up here in Michigan I can report that we are excited about the fact that the lions took an immediate butt whoopin by a weak team to start the season. None of that early season tease by way of doing ANYTHING positive early on this year. Local pastors can now go long on sunday morning without that fear of the mid-sermon rush to the exit doors. (God does work in unaticipated ways). Wives are smiling and breaking out the honey-do lists and husbands are in search of new hiding spots. Motorcycles are being wheeled out of the garage and fishing boats hitched up to truck bumpers. Yes, it's Great to live in a state where professional football doesn't cause conflicts in life. I love the fall.

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This page contains a single entry by Kyle Koster published on September 8, 2008 2:41 AM.

Bears Brightside Vol. 5: The Bears may not win, but Chicago will never lose was the previous entry in this blog.

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