Bears Brightside Vol. 7: What's a Panthers win other than a loss with more "official points" than the Bears?
In a NASCAR race, five bonus points are awarded to any driver that leads a lap and five bonus points are awarded to any driver that leads the most laps. Were the same brilliant, revolutionary scoring method implemented in professional football, the Bears certainly wouldn't have come three "official points" within notching a "statistical win" against the Carolina Panthers today.
Substitute laps with quarters and, by my calculation, for three quarters with the lead and the points for the team who leads the most quarters, the Bears are up 37-20.
Perhaps the problem today was that the game itself was simply too long. This thing was over when the Bears were ahead 17-3, and clearly the refs should have called it -- not unlike a boxing KO. If you let any game go on long enough, it's almost certain that the other team will eventually come back and score 17 unanswered "official points." Because this is an inevitability in a game that's allowed to just drag on, the Panthers really don't deserve those "official points" -- and the Bears are up 37-3.
Then if you take into consideration the intangibles -- such as the fact that we represent Chicago and they don't even represent a city, but rather than a conglomeration of two states whose individuality has been stripped from them -- then things start to look even sunnier. I'd give us three points just for that. And suddenly the Bears lead 40-3.
Add to all of this the fact that in college football, it's considered taunting to boastfully pound one's chest with one's fist as Jake Delhomme so brutishly did during the third quarter and you really have to negate that Panthers field goal.
So the way I see it, Bears win 40-0. For those of you counting real points at home, that's a shutout. A shutout!
Not sure about you folks, but I'm perfectly content with a 40-0 shutout.
Never mind the fact that Devin Hester suffered a mystery injury to his ribs. Last I checked, ribs were made for healin'.
Never mind the fact that tight end Greg Olsen couldn't seem to stop giving the ball to the other team. Last I heard, altruism and benevolence were considered virtues.
How easy it is to overlook the fact that rookie Matt Forte looked sharp again, and carried for 92 yards. That they were stylishly gained should be reason enough to add another 20 or so to that total.
Roman Modrowski asks us on the Full Court Press blog: Where did this game go wrong? But considering today's 40-0 victory by true-point standards, I have to ask, where did this game go right, and how else can this team go right?
Congrats, boys. C'mon home a perfect 2-0!
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