Paperwork says these "suitable" gals are 16 years old. Bela Karolyi  says they're "half people." (AP Photo)

Just when you thought we'd actually experience an Olympiad sans Bela Karolyi, the Romanian Rabble Rouser was back on our TV screens again last night telling Bob Costas, in so many words, that the Chinese are cheaters when it comes to female gymnastics.

It would seem -- and pretty much anyone with two eyes and more than a passing degree of common sense would agree -- that the Chinese girls are not quite of American driving age. Indeed, IOC rules state that you must at least turn 16 years of age the year you compete in the games.

But luckily, the Chinese gymnasts had passports that clearly (and evidently earnestly) stated that the girls are, in fact, 16 years old.

Wait a minute ... you mean to tell me the Chinese government might have doctored some passports to make these ladies older on paper? Chinese gymnasts are using fake IDs?

Well I guess that makes me and a few teenage Chinese gymnasts kindred spirits.

Truth be told, this author was once in possession of false identification during his time at the University of Missouri. And I guess you could say that, like the Chinese gymnasts, I did it because I also wanted to hang with older women.

The Chinese succeeded, bringing home gold. I, on the other hand, can't recall brining anything noteworthy home. And looking back, that's quite alright with me.