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Bears Brightside Vol. 4: It's beginning to look a lot like 1985

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PAYTON  & Suhey N.jpgIn this 1987 photo, Walter Payton de-pantses fullback Matt Suhey, who serves as inspiration, no doubt, for Jason McKie. (Sun-Times file)

Perhaps some of you saw the on-field brilliance displayed last night by the frothing-at-the-mouth Monsters of the Midway against the we-take-scrimmages-way-too-seriously 49ers. Perhaps it made some of you into believers. Well, new believers, welcome to the club. Your complementary t-shirt and box of Cheez-its await.

But as Yung Berg once famously told this reporter, "Chicago is full of haters." Unfortunately, this applies to the Bears as well. Take Russ Loede, for example. In his post on the Bears Gab blog, he writes under a section titled "The Bad":

"Count me out of the Jason McKie Fan Club ... Let's face it - McKie's no Matt Suhey (well, who is?)"
What a hater!

As co-founder and dues-paying member of both the McKie and Matt Suhey (and Matsui) fan clubs, I can say with complete confidence that not only does McKie display his share of Suheyian ferocity, he does it without the aid of a Suheyian mustache.

Many would have you believe that the Bears defense "struggled" in yesterday's every-domination. But let's take a look at the word 'struggle.' It's derived from the root word "strug" -- as in Kerri Strug. Strug, as you may recall, was the original struggler on the way to Bearsian dominance in the 1996 Atlanta Olympics. Picture Lovie as Bela Kerolyi, metaphorically carrying these Bears, waving and smiling, from the vault to the medal stand as "Bear Down" plays triumphantly. Struggle, indeed.

And still others may be quick to point out that the Bears have failed to "win a game" this preseason. I seem to recall another Bears squad who failed to win their first three preseason games. Gee, I can't remember which one that was. It's just not ... oh yeah, it was the '85 Bears. Although I can't remember how they fared in the regular season. It's just not ... oh yeah, they won the Super Bowl and filmed the third greatest rap video of all time. I remind all of you that the preseason exists for one reason: To see how closely to their chest a team can hold its cards. And the Bears are keeping theirs millimeters from their mighty chests.

I'll say it, folks: The Bears haven't looked this good since last week. The future's bright in Halas Hall. Perhaps the Bears should look into ordering a shipment of these.

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I really hope Mo' Money Mo' Problems- featuring the holy trinity of Notorious BIG, Mase and the immortal Puff Daddy- cracks your top three rap music videos.

Kevin Replies: Dude. I can still do the dance. What kind of a blogger would I be if I didn't abide by the MMMP philosophy?

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This page contains a single entry by Kevin Allen published on August 22, 2008 8:23 AM.

Bears vs. 49ers Game Lounge was the previous entry in this blog.

Of Olympic Dreams Deferred and Shawn Johnson's Buttery Likeness is the next entry in this blog.

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