Kyle Orton and his neck beard are poised for ... um ... well, he's the starter. We'll go with that. (AP Photo)

Fellow Pi Kappa Alpha alumnus Kyle Raymond Orton has been named the opening day pilot of the full-steam-ahead aircraft known as the Chicago Bears for the 2008 season.

Orton, you may recall, went 10-5 as a starter in 2005, when the Bears won their division and lost to the Eagles in the playoffs.

This represents another great chapter in the annals of men who aren't fans of shaving.

I shall preempt the naysayers with my prediction that Orton will be on the receiving end of a dubious award tantamount to the type we've explored on this blog in the past.

Congratulations, Kyle. Not so much on being named the starter, but for leading us to the playoffs and beyond.