• It just had been too long since we heard a marching band, saw a real cheerleader or saw a graphic telling us the running back who just broke a 34-yard run was majoring in social sciences.

• ESPN's resident quirky uncle seems to have developed a habit of grabbing hold of Kirk Herbstriet's arm when he is making a point. He also picked Clemson to win and put on a funny Tiger hat. That's good television.

• The Missouri Tigers' resident Devin Hester impersonator took a kickoff 99 yards for a touchdown and set up another score with a long punt return.
  

• For the second straight year, Michigan dropped their opener at home. This time the Wolverines were beaten by the Utah Utes. New coach Rich Rodriguez's spread offense was held to just 36 rushing yards.

• Terrell Pryor made his much ballyhooed Buckeye debut as Ohio State absolutely disrobed the Penguins. Beanie Wells hurt his foot. He'll be OK.
  

• The Badgers racked up 404 yards on the ground. P.J. Hill accounted for 210 of them.
  

• JoePa notches his 373rd career win.
  

• Can't wait to read Monday's recap in the Daily Northwestern. Out of respect I'll check out the one in the Daily Orange.
  

• This game started at 7:30 a.m. Hawaii time. Tim Tebow > pretty much everyone.
  

• Don't.Want.To.Talk.About.It. Mark Sanchez looked pretty good though.
  

• Thanks to the impending danger of Hurricane Gustav, the good people of Baton Rogue enjoyed a little football for breakfast while LSU Tigers drank App. State's milkshake.

• Alabama had 239 rushing yards. Clemson had 0.
  

• The special teams were anything but for both teams. Good for the Golden Bears. Seriously, good for them.
  

" Fukudome's forgettable August went from bad to worse Saturday, including a pair of errors on one play for the usually exceptional right fielder.

Batting eighth after not starting Friday, he struck out with the bases loaded to end the third inning to raise a round a boos, then got a louder version when he struck out looking in the seventh."

I can only hope the sudden decrease in popularity is hurting the sales of this product.

"Witnesses told police a pilot was antagonizing students practicing soccer at Belle Vernon Area High School and golfers on the links at Willowbrook Golf Course shortly before he crashed 7:43 p.m. Tuesday.

Rostraver Police received various reports that Jay Tokar, 46, of 250 Adams Drive, Rostraver Township, was yelling and attempting to spit on people below shortly before the accident."

"In sport after sport, evidence shows that the top female professional athletes in the world are on par with the best American 14- and 15-year-old boys. Nearly every female Olympic record in speed, strength, and endurance events falls between the records set by the best American 14- and 15-year-old boys:

Speed/Endurance Record Times:
Distance	Men's	Boys' 14	Women's	Boys' 15
100M	9.69	10.64	10.62	10.42
200M	19.30	21.49	21.34	20.97
400M	43.49	47.16	48.25	46.55
800M	1:42.58	1:55.9	1:53.43	1:51.03
1500M	3:32.07	4:04.1	3:53.96	3:51.5
5000M	13:05.59	15:46.8	14:40.79	14:32.8
10000M	27:05.10	32:48.0	30:17.49	31:43.2

Leaping Records (in meters):
Event	Men's	Boys' 14	Women's	Boys' 15
High Jump	2.39	2.04	2.06	2.18
Long Jump	8.90	7.21	7.40	7.49
Pole Vault	5.95	4.72	4.91	5.33
Triple Jump	18.09	14.74	15.33	14.98

• Mariotti sez: Redeem Team good, but no Dream
• No Jose Calderon for the Spaniards
• Jemele sez: Gold important for black community

"Matos was winning 3-2, with 1:02 in the second round, when he fell to the mat after being hit by his opponent, Kazakhstan's Arman Chilmanov. He was sitting there, awaiting medical attention, when he was disqualified for taking too much injury time. Fighters get one minute, and Matos was disqualified when his time ran out.

Matos angrily questioned the call, pushed a judge, then pushed and kicked referee Chakir Chelbat of Sweden. Matos then spat on the floor and was escorted out."

Kicking? Spitting? Perhaps Matos should look into competitve tantrum throwing in 2012. Although he'd have some stiff competition.

"Phelps, fresh from shattering Mark Spitz's 36-year-old record, was spotted Monday night in a hot make-out session with Down Under swimmer Stephanie Rice, a source tells The Post's Clemente Lisi and Luke Dennehy. The pumped-up pair clinched and swapped spit at a celebratory bash outside the Olympic Village."

"According to the paper, the court affidavit quotes an e-mail from O'Neal as saying, "I dnt no who the [expletive] u think u dealin wit u will neva be heard from one phone call is I gotta make now try me. Sho me."

"Count me out of the Jason McKie Fan Club ... Let's face it - McKie's no Matt Suhey (well, who is?)"

"Irabu, 39, became angered after his credit card was rejected. He allegedly pushed the bartender against the wall, pulled his hair and smashed at least nine liquor bottles. The bartender sustained no injuries."

How many bases would Usain Bolt steal in a season? Our guess is at least a million. (AP photo)

• Stolen base specialist - Worst case scenario: teach him a good hook slide and no infield could stop that suicide squeeze. Best-case scenario: teach him to bunt and he might swipe every base.
• Deep threat - He'd draw the safety's attention just by lining up.  Plus, at 6'5" he might just catch a few jump balls. Watching him celebrate before the 100-meter dash had even finished makes me think he has outstanding touchdown celebration potential as well.   
  

• Goal line specialist - All he has to do is break the plane, right? Pitch the ball out to him and it might help mimic the natural high jump motion. Landing on his back might hurt after a while.

• Cheerleading - I don't think they are going to challenge the Dallas Cowboys gals anytime soon, but think about the upgrade in cheer synchronization. Think about it.

• Cheerleading - Middle schools need cheerleading squads too.

• Sports Broadcaster - He's not an athlete, but after hearing those rants and raves about women's gymnastics I think he could provide any team with some extremely passionate color commentary. I'd absolutely love to get him and John Madden in the booth together.

• NFL holder - Steady arms, hands, and nerves - it's really a no-brainer. Adjusting to a crowd bigger than 12 people might be the only cause for concern. Step aside Tony Romo.

• Professional eater - His swimming skills don't transfer well to the turf, but his ability to regularly eat 12,000 calories a day makes him a potential candidate for the professional eating circuit. His giant torso should provide a digestive system advantage.

• Chicago White Sox's Bean Ball Specialist - It's not a secret coaches intentionally hit batters, but Ozzie Guillen is the only one I've heard own up to it. Chen plunked two Americans in one inning in Monday's revenge-filled contest between the two teams. He sounds like an Ozzie kind of guy.

"The birthday party for Walker was held Sunday at Excalibur, 632 N. Dearborn, according to sources close to the player. But Walker's mother--who was at the party all night--said there were no fights she was aware of at the gathering.

Diane Walker said the party for her son was held in the entire club and that it was "fantastic''-- with no problems.

"Dzhakhon Kurbanov's bout with Kazakhstan's Yerkebulan Shynaliyev was stopped with 17 seconds left in the third round when Kurbanov apparently bit Shynaliyev during a clinch.Shynaliyev, who angrily showed the blood on his shoulder to the referee, led 12-6 at the time. Kurbanov had been warned multiple times for shoving and holding his opponent.

"Not only did McCain raise more than Obama from the owners in each of the four major professional sports leagues analyzed, but McCain even raised six times more from the owners of teams in Obama's hometown of Chicago.

Sam Zell, the owner of baseball's Chicago Cubs, gave more than $22,000 to McCain's committees, though he also gave Obama $2,300, as did the owner of the Chicago White Sox and Chicago Bulls, Jerry Reinsdorf, who gave that much to both McCain and Obama."

"MLB.com would like to recognize the players who have shown the greatest efficiency and durability for the longest period of time; to honor the "iron men" of the sport, those who have stayed younger for longer."

"I've spoken all week about how much I've enjoyed the Olympic experience, how much I love the spirit of it," Blake said. "That's a disappointing way to exit the tournament, when you not only lose the match, but you lose a little faith in your fellow competitor."

"Said Torre: "He came in and showed me. As Billy Crystal said in `Analyze That,' it's a process. He took a little bit off. It's within the rules of cleaning it up a little bit. Right now, it's around his shoulders. It's not covering his name up. We'll continue to monitor it."

"While dislocated kneecaps and high ankle sprains draw more attention, Coach Pete Carroll said he has never seen anything like the minor outbreak that caused key players to miss practice Wednesday.

As much as 25% of the team has been affected by the apparent run of tinea cruris, kicker David Buehler estimated. The condition seems to have spread by way of new compression shorts, or tights, worn under their football pants."

"Selig was once a staunch opponent of replay, but a spate of missed home run calls this season has changed his stance.

Replays would be used to only determine whether a ball leaving the field is fair or foul, or whether it actually went over the fence. It would not be used on close plays on the bases or balls and strikes."

"Devin Hester threw passes in the morning and evening practices out of different plays. It will be interesting to see when these plays are used in the preseason/regular season. Shotgun plays where he could run a draw and plays that get him on the perimeter where he has a run/pass option are going to be fun to watch. Teams are going to have to respect the possibility he is going to pass because he has a strong arm."

Even the Fort Wayne Journal Gazette is at a loss for kind words about the Bears. The Fort Wayne Journal Gazette! They love the Bears in Fort Wayne.***

Well that's one bandwagon of seething negativity I'm officially refusing to flag down. Welcome to the first in what I'm sure will become an ongoing series: Bears Brightside.

And while I've expressed my own lack of love for the organization in the past, mine is a solely economic disdain that stems from the team's astronomical ticket prices. My criticism stops today though. From here, I'll only celebrate the brilliance that is Jerry Angelo. The genius that is Lovie Smith. And the benevolence that is the McCaskey family.

We'll start with a few reasons why I'm excited about the 2008-2009 Chicago Bears:

1. So what if Chicago is where wide receivers go to die, Mushin Muhammad? I'd rather die in Chicago than live a single day in the sprawl-and-drawl infested "city" of Charlotte.

2. Sure, it's wishful thinking, but even if the Bears are less than stellar this season, no one will notice until November thanks to a pair of basebally teams connected by the Red Line and ... October-scented destiny?

3. As pointed out by the stalwart Matt Trowbridge of the Rockford Register Star, the Bears refuse to engage in back-and-forth ballyhoo with former teammates. This is pro football's equivalent of "I'm rubber, you're glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you." Well done, Bears. Your silence is deafening.

4. In today's colum, "Soft? Evidence piling up," Daily Herald writer Mike Imrem outlines his own unique brand of disdain for Bears QB Rex Grossman, punctuated by the ever-so-clever quip, "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me a fourth time, shame on me." Really, Imrem? A variation of a cliche? That's the best you've got to criticize Rex Grossman? At least you could have taken a page from the book of Ron "Mental Midget" Rivera and thrown some alliteration in there. All the criticism of Rex Grossman is only setting him up to exceed expectations. You cannot tear him down any more than he's already been torn down. He has no where to go but up. And if up's not in Rex's cards, Kyle Orton's golden beard of unvetted talent will gladly take the wheel. The real question -- which will I start in Madden 09, the release of which I shall celebrate today by purchasing said time-waster.

5. The ghosts of Rashaan Salaam and Curtis Enis have deemed that Matt Forte will have one good season with the Bears -- and that season is his rookie season. So let us welcome this year's 1,000-yard rusher, Matt Forte.

6. Devin Hester is like water.

*** I was told this by someone who grew up there and referred to the town only as 'Fort Fun.'

If you're anything like me when it comes to sporting, you're far more concerned with how you look than you are with how you play. Had I only known how cool the average handballer looks while playing, I would have surely put the whole journalism thing on hold long ago and set my sights on the more aesthetically friendly world of international handball competition.

We're sorry you're trying to kill us. That was the message the US had to delicately convey to the Chinese recently after a foursome of US cyclists landed in Beijing wearing masks.

The cyclists were criticized for taking the precautions they deemed necessary to combat the Olympic host city's well-documented pollution problem.

This didn't go over too well with the some of the more easlily offendable Beijingians. But it wasn't the fact that the athletes were wearing the masks that irked them -- it was that they donned them in the airport, before they had even stepped outside.

This allegedly abhorrent act promted US Olympic Committee chief executive Jim Scherr AND USOC chairman Peter Ueberroth to publicly denounce the athletes' mask usage, according to the AP article.

Yet another reason why these Olympics will be the first since the 1980 games (when I was 1) that won't interest me.

For a more detailed, first-hand account of Beijing's pollution problem, see our own Jay Mariotti, who has mastered the ancient Chinese art of streaming video casts.

Jimmy McKinney stars in the independent film "Streetballers." (AP photo)

The Quin Snyder era is a dark time in the annals of Missouri basketball history. I remember it well as a time full of dashed hopes and high drama.

Turns out that drama has rubbed off on one of its key figures -- former Mizzou guard and four-year starter Jimmy McKinney. McKinney is the star of the indie film "Streetballers."

Though McKinney never reached his potential at Mizzou, apparently the guy's got some real acting chops, according to the AP article.

As a Mizzou alum, I can attest that Missourians take their independent film making very seriously, so this one will probably make the rounds at a handful of some of the smaller festivals. The real question will be whether McKinney will eschew his Euro hoops career with the Deutsche Bank Skyliners Frankfurt (The Fightin' Skyliners!) for the glam life of a baller turned baller.

Though this is the first film credit for any of the Snyder-era players, there has been a film made about rumored booger-sugar aficionado Quin Snyder himself. Depp's performance is spot-on.