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The high-flying Chicago Bulls are the No. 1 seed in the playoffs, a fun team to watch and the home probably league MVP Derrick Rose.

But for those of us who can't make it to the United Center in person, perhaps the best thing about watching a Bulls game is the over-the-top enthusiasm and calls provided by former Bulls big man Stacey King.

As D. Rose is a game-winning machine, King is a catchphrase-making marvel. His numerous nicknames - Windy City Assassin - for players and gleeful spouting for hot sauce help get the TV fan from seat to feet.

So it's only fitting that there's finally a line of t-shirts to help commemorate the moments King creates. The Stacey Shirts venture is pretty new and you can contact them on Facebook to suggest new shirt phrases or take a look at the $17.99 shirts, available in white or red and expanding as Stacey spits brilliance. But act quick - before the NBA, Bulls, Comcast or King sue them for trademark infringement.

Now, some hot sauce ...

We're combing through the tidbits leading up to the latest royal coupling - so you don't have to. Make sure to check back in often for updates on Wills and Kate as they make their way toward Westminster Abbey.

May God have mercy on our souls ...

villagevoice.jpgRonnie, The Situation and Vinny break out their pecs on the latest cover of New York City's alt-weekly Village Voice. The boys are up in arms, though, because that's not the only thing "out" in this issue.

Turns out the cover story is on Guidos on the down-low. Translation: Italian-Americans of the "Jersey Shore" ilk that lead secretly illicit homosexual lifestyles.

There is a situation, indeed.

The New York Post reports MTVs gymed, tanned and laundered studs are saying they were duped into posing, but not told it was for the publication's annual gay pride issue, headlined "The Guido Ideal" -- a story about "gay Jersey guidos on the down-low."

There's been no official reaction, but Ronnie's probably ready to knock some kid out with one shot over this one.

Ahh the heyday of media in the 1980s, when experts like Roger Ebert could magically beam Star Trek-style into your cocktail party for your personal edification.

A kind soul was good enough to post these gems to YouTube, complete with bad suits and big hair. And advertising budgets. Those were the days.

Thanks to Brad Flora's Windy Citizen for highlighting the find. Go vote it up, people!

Free video chat by Ustream

Remember the Shiba Inu puppy cam craze from last year? Well, move over, dog, a mama owl has taken your place.

Streaming live at video site Ustream is the tantalizing tale of a mother owl, sitting patiently on her eggs, waiting for the hatch - possibly Sunday morning. And thousands of people are grabbing a beverage, even on a Saturday night, and tuning in to watch her, well, basically just sit there and look fluffy.

But hey - it is more entertaining than Saturday Night Live, right?

According to the proprietors of the owl maternity ward, the owl is a first-time mother:

This is a live feed of a wild mother barn owl that has just started setting on her eggs. The owl box is located in our backyard in San Marcos, CA and is 15 feet off the ground. She appears to be a first time mom. The owl is about 14 inches tall. She laid her first egg on February 13th. We are expecting owlets around mid to late March. Incubation is 30 to 34 days. owlets will hatch in order laid. Not all at one time like chickens.

You can find more info at their blog, detailing the Owl Box ad their other avian pursuits, or follow the commentary of the viewers in live stream below or at the show page.

betty.jpgThe bleating of the Internets win again. Betty White will host "Saturday Night Live."

It's been the rage of Twitter and Facebook for some time, and now the veteran comedic actress has finally agreed to step onto the Rockefeller Center stage.

The 88-year-old has been a bit perplexed at the crescendo of support for the idea of her hosting, but finally relented, telling People.com that she's honored, if confused by the idea:

"I don't know why or how," she says, "but it's been wonderful."

Thing is, unless the writers screw this up, she'll probably be one of the better hosts this side of Steve Martin, Alec Baldwin and Justin Timblerlake. Her comedy chops are top notch and timing is a thing of beauty. This will be 1,000 times better than any uninspired Michael Phelps choise could be.

This prisoner messed with the wrong counselor

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If you achieve even a modicum of fame, you must understand: Everything you've ever done will eventually be documented and displayed online.

Take, for example, this newly unearthed 1992 training video for prison officials -- starring a young Michael Emerson, who now plays uber-creep Ben Linus on ABC's "Lost."

Reports of a strange black smoke in the halls after this prisoner's unexpected disappearance have been downplayed.

Stephen Colbert IS cooler than you. Me. Jay-Z, even.

The Comedy Central titan announced the nominees for Song of the Year at the Grammy Awards on Sunday with a little help from the Great Silver Hype - an iPad.

After pulling the latest iWant device out of his coat, Colbert jokingly asked Jay-Z "did you not get one of these in your gift bag?" He also asks his daughter, Madeline, if she finally thinks he's cool. (The answer: No. She must be a PC.)

Colbert then presented the award to Beyonce for "Single Ladies," assuring that Kanye West will NOT be showing up on the "Threat Down."

For the record, Stephen, the iPad coup makes you cool, cooler even than the eaglet, baby turtle or NASA treadmill.

For all you Apple/iPad haters, let's see your Kindles do that.

More than 10,000 fans greeted the cast of "Lost" on Waikiki Beach and were treated to a special screening of upcoming season premiere.

Fans started lining up 12 hours before the Saturday night's event in hopes of getting a glimpse of the actors. Sitting on beach towels and lawn chairs, they watched the episode that airs Tuesday night on ABC and kicks off the sixth and final season of the castaway drama.

Among the stars that made an island-style, red-carpet arrival were Matthew Fox, Evangeline Lilly, Josh Holloway, Yunjin Kim and Michael Emerson.

Actor Daniel Dae Kim called the event "humbling, outrageous and a lot of fun."<\p>

Apple iPad: 'Don't make us explain how it works'

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Big news today from Apple. They announced another new super-cool gadget: the iPad!

But, guess what? The yuksters at "MadTV" thought of the iPad a long time ago ...

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Conan O'brien's final word as host of "The Tonight Show" were serious and eloquent. Here's a transcript of his closing thought:

"Before we bring this rodeo to a close, I think a couple things should be said. 
There's been a lot of speculation in the press about what I legally can and can't say about NBC. 
nd this isn't a joke. 
To set the record straight, and this is true, tonight I'm allowed to say anything I want. 
(Man laughs)
Um, and no it's not a joke, but thanks sir.  Tonight I really am allowed to say whatever I want and what I want to say is this. 
Between my time at "Saturday Night Live," "The Late Night Show," and my brief run here on "The Tonight Show," I've worked with NBC for over 20 years. 
Yes, we have our differences right now, yes we're going our separate ways, but this company has been my home for most of my adult life. 
I am enormously proud of the work we've done together. And I want to thank NBC for making it all possible. 
I really do. 
(Audience applauds) 
A lot of people have been asking me about my state of mind and I'll be honest with you, walking away from "The Tonight Show" is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. 
Um, making this choice has been enormously difficult.  This is the best job in the world. 
I absolutely love doing it and I have the best staff and crew in the history of the medium. 
I will fight anybody who says I don't, but noone would. 
But despite this sense of loss, I really feel this should be a happy moment.  Every comedian...every comedian dreams of hosting "The Tonight Show" and for seven months, I got to do it. 
And I did it my way with people I love.  I do not regret one second of anything that we've done here. 
(Audience applause)
And yeah. 
And I encounter people when I walk on the street now who are just uh who give me sort of a sad look. 
I have had more fortune than anybody I know. 
And if our next gig is doing a show in a 7-Eleven Parking lot we will find a way to make it fine.  We really will. 
I have no problems.  And, I don't want to do it on a 7-Eleven parking lot. 
(Audience laughs) 
But whatever, uh, finally I have something to say to our fans. 
This massive outpouring of support and passion from so many people has been overwhelming for me. 
The rallies, the signs, all the goofy outrageous creativity on the Internet uh, the fact that people have traveled long distances and camped out all night in the pouring rain. 
(Audience cheers)
It's pouring! It's been pouring for days and they're camping out to be in our audience. 
Really, you...Here's what all of you have done. 
You've made a sad situation joyous and inspirational. 
So to all the people watching I can never ever thank you enough for the kindness to me and I'll think about it for the rest of my life. 
And all I ask is one thing...and this is...I'm asking this particularly of young people that watch...please do not be cynical. 
I hate cynicism. For the record, it's my least favorite quality. 
It doesn't lead anywhere. 
Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. 
But if you work really hard and you're kind, amazing things will happen.  I'm telling you.  Amazing things will happen.  (Audience claps) I'm telling you. 
It's just true. 
As proof, let's make something amazing happen right now. 
Here to close out our show are a few good friends, led by Mr. Will Ferrell."

There may not be any more Coco after Conan O'Brien bid a relatively classy adieu to NBC and "The Tonight Show," but there was certainly more cowbell. And some more cowbell. And a little more cowbell.

And "Freebird"

A semi-all-star jam played out O'Brien after his six-and-a-half months of late night talk glory - the last half month was more gory. Billy Gibbons. Ben Harper. And Beck. And, of course, Will Ferrell - with a guest appearance by very pregnant wife Viveca as a background dancer and deep, tongue-kissing target - on the cowbell.

If only Conan had been as good as he was this week for the whole run, maybe this mess could have been averted. Or not. Jeff Zucker would have still been involved.

The breakup has been brokered. Coco is a free man. His people are getting paid. Life is good.

And how else to break down the tense final moments? Why with Pee Wee Herman, legal expert, of course. Making use of a stuffed giraffe, an NBC peacock, a transformer and one of those human tank things from "Avatar."

It really is a shame this whole debacle is all but done. Late night TV is about to get much less interesting.

You gotta love "Lost" fans. The delightfully obsessed, conspiracy theorist bunch that can sometimes further the cliff-hanger show plot along better than the writers.

Case in point: This 10-minute classic of the crash of Oceanic Flight 815 in real time from the perspective of multiple characters. Watch in slightly stomach-churning syncopation as lives are lived and intersected on the island.

The fairly awesome compilation was touted on Twitter by no less that Damon Lindelhof, one of the show's executive producers. Wait, is there a clue there?

You might still be a little confused about this whole late night TV debacle going on over at NBC. Sure, we all know that Leno's ratings suck and Conan's being booted after seven months and NBC is apparently incapable of making good decisions. But what really happened?

Thankfully, a media outlet has taken on the task of breaking down the meltdown in true journalistic form - without malice, prejudice or bias. The same newshawks that brought us rendered reenactments of the Tiger Woods-Elin Nordegren back nine beatdown have thrown in the resources to explain the crumbling world of "The Tonight Show" in imagery we can all understand - super heroes (though ironically not NBC super "Heroes").

When you take a moment to Watch Conan become the Incredible Hulk, an NBC executive - seemingly Jeff Zucker - morph into Captain America and Jay Leno transform into, umm, L-Man(?), well, it just all becomes clear.

Thank the Maker for Chinese (technically Taiwan) news reenactments.

OK, if you really must have this in English, here's the translated version. But it does seem to lose something:

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