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Little Girl Plays With Dead Squirrel - Watch more Funny Videos

This is clearly a video shot with the hope of embarrassing a girl in her teenage years. Oh, mom and dad, something says you'll take care of that all by yourself.

Witness a cute little girl playing with her cuddly new furry friend - Mr. Corpsey.

Yes, that's a real squirrel. Yes, he's, to quote Monty Python, an ex-squirrel.

See how dad, or whatever passes for a male authority figure there, misses out on the instinct to slap the dead rodent out of said girl's hands and rush her off for a bleach bath. No, what's needed here in the parenting guidebook, clearly, is YouTube video.

And Ma, apparently, at least summons a look of revulsion, but does nothing about it.

Funny? Yep. Parental freakshow? You bet.

Good luck, kid. You have the rest of your life ahead of you. And, maybe one day, taxidermy school.

Thanks, COED Magazine's Parenting Fail blog.

When a complex story hits the world view, you can turn to your New York Times or CNN or BBC for comprehensive coverage and insight. But will you get the whole story?

Probably not - not unless you seek out a more informative source. Namely the hard-charging CGI journalists at NMA World Edition. You may remember their news delivery genius from such winners as the CGI reenactment of the the Tiger Woods fracas with ex-wife Elin or the explanation of the Conan O'Brien - Jay Leno NBC The Tonight Show meltdown.

Well, not they're tackling the Brett Favre - Jenn Sterger, umm, affair. As you may have read, the serial retirement enthusiast, is in some hot water for allegedly bombarding the Jets Gameday sideline reporter with flirtatious e-mails and texts of his junk. That's literally sexy time pictures from a grandapa, by the way (new Viagra or Cialis poster boy, anyone?).

Anyway, it's a complex situation that really can't be explained properly without the semi-NSFW (unless you're Lee Abrams) wizardry of CGI news:

Think of the worst wedding experience you've ever had. Got that picture in your mind? OK, now imagine this statement being made after said wedding and take some time to reevaluate your grade:

The gunman, a 33 year-old Chechen man, insists he was sure that he had emptied the pistol's chamber of every bullet and says he only wanted to enliven the wedding. But local police do not believe him and have opened a criminal investigation into the tragic incident.

Because nothing ... NOTHING enlivens a wedding like a little game of Russian roulette. Especially when you leave a rubber bullet in the chamber, as the London Telegraph reports happened at these festivities in southern Russia. The report offers up this gem:

Russian weddings are notoriously drunken and sometimes violent, with fist fights not uncommon.

And sure enough, nobody seems all that concerned. Maybe it's all the $3 vodka, but there's just not much urgency when the piece appears.

The unlucky contestant is apparently fighting for his life.

razor.jpg

barnes.jpgPeople do stupid things for love. They also do a lot of stupid things while driving. It must be a natural progression of the human race that the two truths would one day coexist.

And Megan Mariah Barnes is the culmination of that latest leap on the evolution chart. Sure, lots of folks shave in the car. Few, however, do so in the genital area. While driving.

Megan Mariah Barnes is clearly not like most people.

She was pulled over by Florida cops following a two-car wreck, in which they say she was shaving her "bikini area," according to reports in the Keys News. Her ex-husband, in the passenger's seat, was steering while she groomed the uderbrush when the couple smashed into another car in the Florida Keys, according to Florida State Patrol:

"She said she was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit," Trooper Gary Dunick said. "If I wasn't there, I wouldn't have believed it. About 10 years ago I stopped a guy in the exact same spot ... who had three or four syringes sticking out of his arm. It was just surreal and I thought, 'Nothing will ever beat this.' Well, this takes it."

Of course, it gets better. She probably had no business driving, razor or not, when you consider her record.

Just one day earlier, Barnes had been convicted, reports keysnews.com, of DUI with a prior and driving with a suspended license and was ordered to impound her car, and her driver's license was revoked for five years. After the five years, she must have a Breathalyzer ignition interlock device on any vehicle she drives - including the 1995 Thunderbird driven in the wreck. Barnes also was sentenced to nine months' probation.

Good luck with that. She was charged with driving with a revoked license, reckless driving, leaving the scene of a wreck with injuries and driving with no insurance. And she faces a year for her efforts on the probation violation alone.

If that ain't a kick in the freshly shorn crotch.

Asian Carp.jpgAsian carp. Can't live with 'em, can't poison 'em.

Illinois just popped $3 million in desperation money to kill off some Sanitary and Ship Canal carp getting dangerously close to the Chicago locks leading to Lake Michigan and the Great Lakes beyond. They end result? One dead Asian carp, perhaps killed as a sacrifice by his fellow fish.

This kid equals that total with a modern variation on an ancient weapon for the price of some boat motor fuel and fishing line.

Part of the reason for the carp hunt - the poison one, not the bow one - was the fear that the carp had spread further than previously believed, based on a find of fish DNA

"If there aren't any Asian carp we still believe it was an essential operation," John Rogner, assistant director of the Illinois Department of Natural Resources, said before the lone fish was found.

Well, it turns out there really weren't any carp found, at least near the DNA site. But that's OK. It's still a battle against this fast moving, all-encompassing species that has to be fought and won to preserve the Great Lakes ecosystem and billion-dollar fishing and recreation industry.

And yes, the $3 million pricetag was about more that carp killing. It was meant to provide time for repairs and maintenance to the electric fence keeping these beasts at bay from Lake Michigan as well. Still, could we have done the job cheaper? Say, just paid these guys - in a much more action-filled clip, with a brawny, metalish soundtrack and some cool flaming arrows - with $100 worth of beer and some Chinese buffet?:

Of course, as a last-ditch effort, we could always bring these geniuses in on the job. A quick trip to Northwest Indiana for a couple bags of stuff that blows up and the Great Lakes will never have to worry about anything undesirable getting in. Fishwise, that is.


Fishing With Dynamite - Watch more Funny Videos

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