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The first shot released at a very NSFW Playgirl.com of Levi Johnston and his armpit hair.

Levi Johnston, or is that Ricky Hollywood, is a classy guy. Yeah, he's doing a Playgirl pictorial, but it's arty, not filled with gratuitous junk.

The Bristol Palin knocker-upper decided to keep little Ricky Hollywood under wraps, electing no to go full frontal, so he can keep things from devolving into some sort of a circus with people thumbing his page for a glimpse at his naughty bits rather than to get to know him as a person.

See? Classy.

Us Magazine had some additional details of the classic moments of Americana preserved on film:

"'The shoot was fantastic!' Johnston's manager said, adding that the nude model wasn't nervous in the slightest. 'We're having a lot of fun with it,' Jones teases. And, ahem, how much did Bristol Palin's hockey-playing ex reveal? 'People are going to see more of Levi than they thought,' Tank Jones tells Us. 'There was a hockey stick involved.' The fun's not over, either: a second photo session takes place Friday. 'Part two is going to be fantastic. That's all I can say.' "

And it must be just that attention to detail that keeps his famous not-mother-in-law, Sarah Palin, willing to leave a seat at the family Thanksgiving table for him. Talking to Oprah on Monday, Palin said she's worried he may not be making the right decisions with his life.

Palin went on to say she finds it "a bit heartbreaking to see the road that he is on right now" and that "it's not a healthy place to be." Palin also said Johnston remains a member of the family and that they can work out any troubles. She said she prays for him and that he has an "open invitation" to Thanksgiving dinner.

One can only wonder with breathless anticipation what will happen next.

An elephant that escaped from the Family Fun Circus at the Garfield County Fairgrounds after being spooked caused a vehicle accident Wednesday night (AP)

It's fitting that this auto accident happend on the way home from church. Odds are the at some point a phrase starting with "HOLY" was uttered as it happened.

An Oklahoma couple driving home from church hit an elephant on their way home from church near rural Enid, Okla. Tuesday night. Yes. An elephant.

The betrunked speedbump was an escapee from a nearby circus and collided with the couple's SUV Wednesday night when it ran across a rural highway about 100 miles north of Oklahoma City.

Police say the 29-year-old elephant had escaped earlier that night from the Family Fun Circus at the Garfield County Fairgrounds. The couple weren't injured in the crash, but police say the elephant had a broken tusk and an injured leg. The tusk probably was injured as it tore a hole in the SUV's sheet metal.

If the highlight of the last seven days for you is watching drunken Ewoks hump Al Roker's leg on live TV, well, err ... OK, there's nothing wrong with that. But beyond the obvious fun with bestiality angles involved, it's been a busy week in the Star Wars universe.

Then the continuing saga of Londoner Andrew Ainsworth, an original costumer for the Star Wars films accused of going to the Dark Side for making Storm Trooper uniform reproductions (what, those things produced under a no-bid, exclusive contract or something?) as the case returned to court Tuesday.

Now this, an unearthed photo of Carrie Fisher in full Princess Leia slavegirl garb catching some rays on the set of "Return of the Jedi" - seemingly on Jabba's barge - next to her stunt double, Tracy Eddon. The photo has been around fleetingly, but reappeared in wider circulation for some reason today. And across the world an entire generation of men who were 13 in 1983 suddenly stopped as if there were a great disturbance in the Force.

Perhaps not as great a disturbance as there was when Fisher finally got her wish to have an interesting costume:

"I remember that iron bikini I wore in Episode VI: what supermodels will eventually wear in the seventh ring of hell."

Just how big a deal was this brass masterpiece? There's an entire Wookipedia page on her barb and at least one Web site dedicate entirely to Fisher's metal bikini, which contains this disclaimer: This website is dedicated to the costume worn by Princess Leia following her capture by the crimelord, Jabba the Hutt, in Star Wars, Episode VI : Return of the Jedi.

Riiight.

There doesn't seem to be a backstory - yet - as to who took it or why it's showing up now. But sometimes it's best to just let the Force work in its own way. And just thank your stars that there was no corresponding Luke-in-a-Speedo moment to match.

Oh, and how 'bout those ewoks one more time ...

In this Oct. 23, 2009, police mug photo provided by the Carroll, Iowa, Police Department, Joey Lee Miller, 20, and Matthew Allan McNelly sport their ingenious disguises used in an alleged apartment burglary attempt. (AP Photo/Carroll Police Department)

If you're searching desperately for a last-second Halloween costume idea, Iowans Joey Miller and Matthew McNelly have come to the rescue. Here's a list of what you'll need to pull together the look:

A Sharpie.

A look of complete befuddlement (confusion or a generic dazed expression with do in a pinch).

Miller and McNelly were busted last week in Iowa for allegedly trying to break into an apartment - throw a DUI charge in for good measure - prompting local cops to dub the pair "dumb and dumber."

Local police chief Jeff Cayler had some choice comments about the permanent marker criminal minds in an interview with CNN:

"We're very skilled investigators and the black faces gave them right away,"Cayler said. "[They were] being dumb and combine that with alcohol and it was the perfect storm.

"I've been chief here almost 25 years, been with the department 28½ years and I've seen a lot of things that make me laugh and weird things but this was probably the best combination of the two - strangely weird and hilariously funny all at the same time."

Spectators watch piglets at the feeding trough, after a traditional pig race at the Swiss agriculture fair OLMA, in St. Gallen, Switzerland on Thursday. (AP)

Sometimes, a little sizzle and squeak makes the day go by quicker. With that in mind, here's a pig's, umm, eye view of the traditional pig race at what amounts to a 4H fair in St. Gallen, Switzerland. Because while gambling is fine and betting on races is fun, everything is better with bacon.

And if you hurry, you can still make it to visit - the fair, which promises many barnyard and dairy-related delights, runs through October 18.

Or, you can just head to Wisconsin for the weekend.

Vimeo member Eric Spiegelman put together this slightly eerie montage of President Obama doing the grip-and-grin line from a recent meeting at the United Nations with foreign dignitaries. Spiegelman grabbed the images from the State Department's Flickr site and 20 seconds later you have this impressive proof that Obama has a very consistent smile.

On Wednesday, the Obamas hosted a reception at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York, during which they stood for 130 photographs with visiting foreign dignitaries in town for the UN meeting. The President has exactly the same smile in every single shot.

So there you go. Who needs a cutout when the real thing works this well?

Hat tip to Chicagoist for digging this up on a quiet Friday.

A three-day-old baby boy, weighing 19.2-pounds, lays next to a standard size newborn baby at a hospital in Kisaran, North Sumatra, Indonesia on Thursday, Sept. 24, 2009. (Andi Anshari~AP; EPA below)

It's officially baby day here at Shiny Objects. The question is, does this whopper of a newborn beat out the mom who got pregnant two separate times over a few weeks?

The answer is yes. Hell, yes. He'll outweigh them both.

At 19 pounds - and 24-inches long - this hulking mound of baby clocks in at the top in terms of baby sizes born in Indonesia.

Thankfully, the as-yet unnamed tyke was born by Cesarean, but good grief, the poor mom probably had to be carted around in a wheelbarrow for the final trimester. And how do you haul the epic bundle of joy now? Somehow a Baby Bjorn just doesn't measure up.

"This heavy baby made the surgery really tough, especially the process of taking him out of his mum's womb," Dr. Binsar Sitanggang said in an interview. "His legs were so big."

And don't even start on the feeding needs of an eating/sleeping/pooping machine that weighs more than three average newborns lumped together.

"He's got a strong appetite, it's almost nonstop feeding," Sitanggangsaid.

Now let's see this little? monster get his groove on to Beyonce. Then again, maybe not - Jakarta ia already earthquake-prone.

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Michelle Childers suffered a drive-by tree limb attack on the Montana/Idaho border. (AP)

An Idaho woman who was skewered in the neck by a tree limb while driving with her husband along the Lochsa River is recovering at home.

KHQ-TV reports 20-year-old Michelle Childers and her husband, Daniel, were taking a recreational drive on a rural road Sept. 5 when a spruce tree crashed through the passenger side window of the vehicle.

Childers says she then felt a "strange" pressure on her neck and shoulder. Her husband told her that the tree limb had impaled her.

"There was this explosion ... just this explosion." she said. "I said 'Where is it, and he was freaking out and said, "it's in your neck!" '"

Childers says the 13-inch tree limb was removed from her neck during a six-hour surgery, but only after a tense drive out of the

"Some days I'll look at the pictures and say, 'Aww, man, that's Awesome!' and sometimes I'll just cry."

Childers is still out on a limb over the accident, though, without health insurance to cover the medical expenses.

Clair Perry's picture of space flushing - that's the flash at the top of the photo.

Over at Spaceweather.com, there's photographic proof that astronauts are human like the rest of us - they even have to make No. 1 way up in space.

No, it's not pictures of galactic urinal cakes. Better. How 'bout a urine shower in the stars, courtesy of the crew of the Shuttle Discovery as they prepared to land in California on Friday?

Hey, it's gotta go somewhere, right?

In Madison, Wisconsin, photographer Abe Megahed witnessed a similar display: "The shuttle was sporting a massive curved plume. What could it be? Something venting? Reaction Control System thrusters? A massive, record-breaking urine dump?"

So the lesson here is to keep your eyes to the skies, but keep your mouth shut.

Benson the 60-pound carp, in happier, healthier times. (Photo from gofishing.co.uk)

Britain's fishing community is in mourning the death of Benson, the 64-pound (29 kilogram) carp.

Fans of the 25-year-old Benson would travel for miles to the Bluebell Lakes complex in Cambridgeshire for a chance to have their picture taken with weighty monster.

She was voted Britain's favorite carp in 2005 by the readers of Angler's Mail because of her sheer size and quirky looks.

Tony Bridgefoot, the owner of the Bluebell Lakes - you can find an explainer of what this area means to anglers in the most monotone video ever made here - was quoted in The Times of London as saying the fishing community has been rocked by Benson's death.

He said the carp, caught and released more than 60 times, had "celebrity status."

And while it was not immediately clear what caused Benson's death, the stench of dead fish is not all that's tainting the country air there. A mystery surrounds how the big fish went to the fry in the sky, with poisoning being a possibility.

Poisoning by nuts.

Apparently fish have problems digesting nuts and a bag of them was found near where Benson popped to the top, reports the Daily Mail.

So grief aside, the question is: Who wanted Benson dead?

Stay tuned.

If you were out in Wicker Park Saturday night, you may have run into the undead. Hopefully you survived your brush with the grave.

You may, in fact, even have been one of them. If so, you're hopefully feeling much better in the new week.

In either case, you likely just ran into the Wicker Park Thriller Zombie Walk in honor of Michael Jackson. And judging from the video and the organizers' Facebook page, the graves must have been emptied with 1,000 Zombies wandering around Milwaukee Avenue between Ashland and Damen.

If you need more, Kirstiecat has some great photos on Flickr.

All well and good if that were the only zombies for you today. But wait, there's more!

It seems there is a Chicago Zombie Web site that celebrates all things undead - a great resource for everything from movies to lore and everything in between in Chicago. You can find them at their site or on Facebook.

In this July 20, 1969 file photo from NASA, Astronaut Edwin E. Aldrin Jr., lunar module pilot, is photographed walking near the lunar module during the Apollo 11 extravehicular activity.

A look in photos back at the moment the whole world watched on July 20, 1969, when Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin first made that giant leap for mankind. The Cold War and Vietnam were heating up and the country was tearing itself apart as the '60s reached a climax, but for one moment, as Walter Cronkite broke out in a gleeful sigh of relief, none of it mattered.

We, the human race, had tread upon another planet, you know, if it really happened. We were no longer bound by Earth's pull.

Many more lunar landing photos after the jump ...

Those of you who read this blog with any regularity will know we're suckers for A) great photos and B) the GigaPan-style uber enlargement photos that are starting to pick up in popularity for some news coverage.

The most notable example is from President Obama's inauguration, a sweeping image that pulls in the entire scene around the Capitol steps, providing hours of searching for the newsworthy and the just plain freaky in the crowd - and for some bonus Obama, check out this shot from the MLB All-Star game. Well, for a Chicago perspective, here's a new GigaPan image that easily tops the Obama shot.

Behold The Ledge, the Sears (God, is it really the Willis Tower now?) Tower Skydeck ledge that allows you to step on air for an unparalleled view of the city - straight down and all around. Below is a look at what you see as the base image for this photo, that basically allows infinite zooming:

OK, nice photo. But the beauty of the image is when you start digging in. Here's an image of the Chicago Sun-Times building, a little to the north of the Sears Tower, that was found within this image (in the bottom right corner area):

And there's plenty more to see. You can even create snapshots of scenes you find - with a free account logon - and interact with a growing GigaPan community to discuss images and the secrets that used to be hidden in the corners.

And, with apologies to Billy Mays, if that were the only Chicago photographic goodness today, you might be thrilled. But wait, there's more! National Geographic's Intelligent Travel blog has some nice advice for how to get the best images of Chicago and its skyline. It's good advice for tourists and townies alike.

There are tips offered on where to go and how to get there to capture images like this:

And just to add to photographer Bob Krist's advice, while the Ledge is awesome, you get a much better photographic vantage point for photography from the Hancock's Observatory.

In no way, shape or form is this not awesome.

Yes, it's an ad. So what? Ads this creative and innovative are a pleasure to look at, no matter what they're selling. It's well executed, clever, meticulous and a joy of stop-motion photography.

But wait just a second ... hasn't this already been done? And just a few weeks earlier right here on YouTube, to boot?

As it turns out, yes ...

So what on first glance was a tremendous effort at artistic advertising for the Olympus PEN camera - a largely European campaign - has quickly turned into a debate on the line between "homage" and pick-pocketing.

Emma Watson was on hand to check out the London premier of "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" last night when a nasty incantation blew her frock to the side, exposing her dumble-drawers.

Oops! Where's the house elf when you need to him to keep these fancy dresses in place?

The 19-year-old - yes, sleazy Internet trolls, you can look without legal ramifications, but still feel shame - quickly got a handle on things, as usual, without raising her hand with the answer. With the wardrobe malfunction secured, she braved the London weather and thousands of screaming fans to take in the sixth movie in the series.

She even went on Letterman to talk about the incident, and her relative good fortune:

When Letterman pointed out the faux-pas on "The Late Show," a blushing Emma replied: "This was a small wardrobe malfunction that happens.

"At least I'm wearing underwear," the 19-year-old star added, before hanging her head in her hands to say she's "still learning" this stuff.

More on the premier after the jump ...