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Eliot Spitzer is set to lecture at Harvard. On ethics.

Let that soak in, Hahvahd smaht kids.

The disgraced former governor and Attorney General of New York, sometimes known by his closest acquaintances, such as his former "date," Ashley Dupre, as "Client 9," has been invited to lecture at the prestigious school, which does not sit well with Kristin Davis, a former Manhattan madam who used to supply the professor with call girls.

"This sounds fascinating and I would love to attend," Davis wrote of Spitzer's speech today, "but the restrictions of my probation won't allow me to travel outside New York City.

"For nearly 5 years, I supplied Mr. Spitzer with high-priced escorts while he was both Attorney General and Governor. For this crime, I served four months on Rikers Island, had all of my assets confiscated and am now considered a sex offender on 5 years probation. Mr. Spitzer broke both state and federal laws and walked away free.

"I am greatly intrigued as to what Mr. Spitzer could contribute to an ethical discussion when as Chief Executive Law Enforcement Officer of NY he broke numerous laws for which he has yet to be punished. As Attorney General he went around arresting and making examples out of the same escort agencies he was frequenting."

Spitzer resigned as governor on March 17, 2008, taking his good name and Hilary Clinton Superdelegate status with him.

Update with Spitzer's talk, 9 p.m.

By hook or by crook, Spitzer's speech went off without incident - or talk of prostitution Thursday. According to Bloomberg News reports, his talk on ethics skirted any mention of his own, personal research into ethical quagmires:

Only government regulators can force transparency in the financial markets, Spitzer said today during his talk entitled, "From Ayn Rand to Ken Feinberg - How quickly the Paradigm Shifts. What Should Be the Rationale for Government Participation in the Market?"

Spitzer, 50, resigned as governor on March 12, 2008, after he was identified on a federal wiretap arranging to meet at a Washington hotel with a woman who worked for Emperors Club VIP. As New York State attorney general from 1999 to 2006, he was known as "the sheriff of Wall Street" and collected billions in settlements from financial companies such as Merrill Lynch and American International Group, Inc.

Spitzer's speech didn't touch on the actions that led to his resignation.

So, he got in, shifted his paradigm and got out. Disappointing, but not unexpected.

Noted in-your-face interviewer Larry King got Carrie Prejean's goat with his hard-hitting quest to find answers about the tarnished beauty queen's mediation and settlement with the Miss California USA pageant.

Oh, yeah. Except that this is Larry King, the soft-balling questioner tarnished celebrities book to feel like they're in a safe place. But even King's kid gloves were too much for Prejean, who's doing the gab circuit to flog her new book, causing her to toss her mic and clam up while a clearly befuddled King went to break.

The problem seemed to stem from King's repeated questions about the framework of Prejean's settlement. The ex-queen continued to brush aside questions as "inappropriate" and cited a confidentiality agreement. Oh, and of course there's that non-sextape sex tape floating around that TMZ has said was shot when Prejean was 17.

The video the lawyer showed Carrie is extremely graphic and has never been released publicly. We know that, because TMZ obtained the video months ago but decided not to post it because it was so racy. Let's just say, Carrie has a promising solo career.

We're told it took about 15 seconds for Carrie to jettison her demand and essentially walk away with nothing. As we first reported, the Pageant is paying around $100,000 to her lawyers and publicist - a fraction of her bills. She pockets nothing in the settlement.

So, clearly, there's a level of expertise in "inappropriate" behavior at work here.

The CNN dalliance Wednesday night continued down weird lane as Anderson Cooper picked up the topic later.

Cooper's reaction is kinda priceless, actually. Especially when he hears Prejean's describes King as "inappropriate."

Bizarre, indeed. Increasingly so.

Beckham Robbins,4, runs through the Healing Field of Honor that features 2009 American flags on display at Rotary Hill in Naperville - for $35 you can dedicate a flag and come pick it up after the display ends. (Rich Hein~Sun-Times) More Veterans Day photos here.

Over at CouponSherpa, they put together a nice list of free goodies being offered, mostly today, from restaurants and companies looking to show appreciation for veterans. From free meals to discounts on merchandise and services, it's a nice gesture. Among the highlights:

Applebee's Restaurant - Free dinners to veterans throughout the day.

Outback Steakhouse - Free Blooming Onion and beverage.

UNO Chicago Grill- Free entree or individual pizza with an entree or pizza purchase of equal or greater value.

Amazon.com - Free "Veterans Day Honor" MP3 album download. The album includes 12 songs by The Bands and Ensembles of the U.S. Armed Forces.

National parks, forests and monuments - Admission is free to everyone on Veterans Day.

Much like Mother's Day, these are people who sacrifice too much in service of others to be thought of only once a year. The tragedy of the Fort Hood massacre is a grim reminder that our veterans and active duty military are a selfless group that puts service to country above personal safety.

It's odd, then, to think that this special day for vets, which began a long journey to national holiday status in the European trenches of World War I, has only been around since 1954. Before that Nov. 11 was set aside as Armistice Day, originally intended to mark the end of WWI. In fact, in the 1970s, the day itself moved around the calendar to keep it on a Monday according to federal law until Nov. 11 was permanently set aside for remembrance.

So if you know a vet or service member, don't forget to let them know from time to time how much you value what they've done. It's so little to ask for people who have given so much.

Times are tough all over. And that last thing any free market economy needs as the world pulls out of a global economic meltdown is for a meddling government to get its hands all over employees from a certain sector with a bunch of obtrusive bondage in the form of regulation.

Take lap dancers, for instance.

This plucky subset of service employees in England is feeling backed into a corner as a bill seeking increased regulation of their establishment licensing makes its way through Parliament. The ladies are none too happy about the government interfering in their daily grind, and they showed up at the Houses of Parliament Thursday make it known, reports Bloomberg News:

Lap dancers from across Britain staged a protest outside Parliament in London over plans to toughen licensing laws, saying thousands of jobs are at risk.

"We are looking at over 30,000 unemployed women," said Chris Knight, spokesman of For Your Eyes Only, which has 139 clubs in the U.K. ìNo other industry would have this legislation forced on them. It is to satisfy the moral minority; they think we are the devil incarnate."

Lawmakers are debating whether to close a loophole in the 2003 Licensing Act that has allowed the number of lap-dancing clubs to double to 300. Opponents argue there are too many clubs and that they are inappropriately located, sometimes near schools. Under the proposals, lap-dancing clubs would have to apply to trade as "sex encounter" establishments, alongside sex shops and X-rated cinemas, which face more stringent restrictions. The current law puts lap-dancing clubs in the same category as pubs and cafes.

About 40 women gathered outside Parliament today, holding placards saying, "we are not sex workers" and "keep your laws off our bodies."

"I am not saying that the industry is perfect," said Donna Roper, 20, who has worked for two years at the Medusa club in Birmingham. "But nor are they - look at their expenses claims," she said, gesturing toward Parliament where lawmakers were embroiled in an expenses scandal over the summer.

In true British fashion - keeping a stiff upper lip and soldiering on.

An elephant that escaped from the Family Fun Circus at the Garfield County Fairgrounds after being spooked caused a vehicle accident Wednesday night (AP)

It's fitting that this auto accident happend on the way home from church. Odds are the at some point a phrase starting with "HOLY" was uttered as it happened.

An Oklahoma couple driving home from church hit an elephant on their way home from church near rural Enid, Okla. Tuesday night. Yes. An elephant.

The betrunked speedbump was an escapee from a nearby circus and collided with the couple's SUV Wednesday night when it ran across a rural highway about 100 miles north of Oklahoma City.

Police say the 29-year-old elephant had escaped earlier that night from the Family Fun Circus at the Garfield County Fairgrounds. The couple weren't injured in the crash, but police say the elephant had a broken tusk and an injured leg. The tusk probably was injured as it tore a hole in the SUV's sheet metal.

A year ago tonight, hundreds of thousands of Barack Obama supporters filed into Grant Park in Chicago to see the junior senator from Illinois become the first black President of the United States in a landslide win against Sen. John McCain.

The euphoria, right, from Nov. 4, 2008 in Grant Park has died down considerably in the last year. (Scott Stewart~Sun-Times)

But glory, as it so often is, was fleeting following the 2008 presidential election. Like the new car, the value begins to plummet and the shine to fade the moment it's driven off the dealership lot. No longer is it enough to win the campaign - now the results must come. And come quickly.

Finally, a big twitter social networking phenomenon we can all embrace.

Big Bird, the giant yellow star who made Sesame Street a happy place long before Elmo came along, turns 40 today. Definitely not a spring chicken anymore.

To celebrate, Sesame Street's website is running a contest where you can vote for your favorite episodes from the the show's 40-year life on Public Television. Even Google has gotten in the game, sporting some decidedly chicken legs for the day above its search bar.

And while there has been controversy in the past over just how old Big Bird is in show years - he seems to be somewhere in the first-grade range if you're thinking of a gift - there's no denying he's been an iconic force in children's live for generations no matter his age.

And the 8-foot, 2-inch yellow original - he debuted on the original airing of "Sesame Street" in 1969 - shows no signs of slowing. Along with his buddies, Mr. Snuffleupagus, Cookie Monster, Oscar the Grouch and the rest of the people and monsters on one of the world's most famous streets, Big Bird has seen and done a lot. From dealing with the death of Mr. Hooper to helping kids learn to read and count to making new friends, marking 40 years in feathers is quite the feat indeed.

And, of course, if Big Bird is 40, Sesame Street is also 40. There's a celebration planned for the actual anniversary date on November 10. Meanwhile, there's an interesting look in the AtlanticWire at some of the changes over the decades.

The smaht kids at Harvard are at it again. Harvard Medial School's publishing arm has released an iPhone app that, among other things, will map H1N1 news and reports near you.

Using the iPhone's geo-locating ability, the HMSMobile Swine Flue Center's "Outbreaks Near Me" HealthMap feature will pop pins on a Google map around your location, along with associated news links, so you know which direction to bar your doors and windows in to maintain maximum security.

There's also the fun of setting up an alert so you know when a "Dawn of the Dead" type outbreak crops up near you. So much the better for planning surgical mask hording.

As if that weren't enough fun for your germ-filled ride home on the bus, you can also find video guides for preventing infection, interactive tools to determine if an illness is likely to be swine flu, and advice for businesses dealing with illness, according to Harvard Health Publications.

The only thing it won't do is prevent you from getting Swine Flu. So make sure you wash your grimy hands after getting your high-tech flu hysteria on.

In this Oct. 23, 2009, police mug photo provided by the Carroll, Iowa, Police Department, Joey Lee Miller, 20, and Matthew Allan McNelly sport their ingenious disguises used in an alleged apartment burglary attempt. (AP Photo/Carroll Police Department)

If you're searching desperately for a last-second Halloween costume idea, Iowans Joey Miller and Matthew McNelly have come to the rescue. Here's a list of what you'll need to pull together the look:

A Sharpie.

A look of complete befuddlement (confusion or a generic dazed expression with do in a pinch).

Miller and McNelly were busted last week in Iowa for allegedly trying to break into an apartment - throw a DUI charge in for good measure - prompting local cops to dub the pair "dumb and dumber."

Local police chief Jeff Cayler had some choice comments about the permanent marker criminal minds in an interview with CNN:

"We're very skilled investigators and the black faces gave them right away,"Cayler said. "[They were] being dumb and combine that with alcohol and it was the perfect storm.

"I've been chief here almost 25 years, been with the department 28½ years and I've seen a lot of things that make me laugh and weird things but this was probably the best combination of the two - strangely weird and hilariously funny all at the same time."

That's too many fingers, Governor.

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger is colorful, to say the least. But he seldom leaves people wondering what he was thinking after his actions.

Take his latest veto. Conan the Legislator often leaves messages on the bills he signs or vetoes, and California legislative finance bill AB 1176 is no different. He struck it down and left a brief message on his feeling on the issue. But you have to read between the lines to see what he's really thinking this time.

Specifically, the first letter of each line. The governor flips the legislature a figurative finger, spelling out an F-bomb if you read down the first letters. See for yourself:

"My goodness. What a coincidence," said Schwarzenegger spokesman Aaron McLear. "I suppose when you do so many vetoes, something like this is bound to happen."

Schwarzenegger's veto messages are sent to the lawmakers who authored the bills, and posted on the governor's Web site. McLear noted that the left-hand margin of past veto messages has spelled out words such as "poet" and "soap."

The target was San Francisco Assemblyman Tom Ammiano, who had sponsored AB1176. The bill, which passed unanimously in the Assembly and Senate, would have granted the Port of San Francisco expanded financing power to redevelop a former shipyard into a new neighborhood known as Pier 70.

"Kudos to the governor for his creative use of coincidence," said Ammiano's spokesman, Quintin Mecke. "You certainly have to have a sense of humor in politics. Unfortunately, this humor came at the cost of the Port of San Francisco."

Whether coincidence or smackdown, the phrase contained in Schwarzenegger's Oct. 12 veto message could be seen as retaliation for Ammiano's behavior during a local Democratic Party fundraiser earlier this month in San Francisco.

Schwarzenegger, a Republican, had been invited to the event by former San Francisco mayor and Assembly speaker Willie Brown, a Democrat.

His appearance at the Fairmont Hotel caught many of the attendees by surprise and came after a summer of contentious budget negotiations that forced lawmakers to cut billions of dollars from core state services, including education and health care programs.

On a video clip of the governor's appearance, Ammiano can be heard shouting "you lie" and other derogatory phrases as other attendees booed and heckled Schwarzenegger's brief speech.

After the governor left, Ammiano took the stage and gave a rambling diatribe in which he criticized Schwarzenegger for a wide variety of perceived offenses. In part, the freshman lawmaker was upset that Schwarzenegger had vetoed bills in 2005 and 2007 that would have legalized gay marriage.

When the Balloon Boy saga unfolded on live TV, it captivated much of the nation. The viewership was made up of a little bit of every type of person: concerned and horrified viewers, conspiracy theory nutjobs, fans of the morbid and everything in between. And perhaps the one unifying element that pulled these disparate groups together was a collective judgment of the rescue and response efforts.

And, of course, there would be no shortage of suggestions on how to bring Falcon Heene safely down from his escaping flying saucer nightmare at 7,000 feet.

Spectators watching the alleged balloon boy hoax unfold on live TV suggested paragliders, skydivers, fishing hooks and more to bring down the flying saucer-shaped craft thought to be carrying the 6-year-old boy - of course we learned it was an apparent publicity stunt.

The e-mails flooding Larimer County, CO., Sheriff Jim Alderden's inbox have turned to criticism of his actions in the case. And Alderden, to his credit, has responded in his weekly blog post - "Up, Up and Away." Alderden writes that people have sent e-mails from around the world, some of them calling him gullible, fat and bald with an over-inflated ego. They compared him to Barney Fife, the bumbling sheriff's deputy on the 1960s TV show "The Andy Griffith Show."

Fat and bald he'll cop to. As for the rest? Full of hot air, says the face of balloon justice. Here's a look at some of the negative response the native Illinoisan has gotten:

The majority of e-mails I received later weren't nearly as complimentary.

* Ok Barney Fife........ Law enforcement shouldnt be sceptical??? Then OJ was totally innocent in Larimer County. You are an Idiot!!!!!!!!!

* You seem to be a real pushover..... why do you want an interview again....you are sold on their story....and your department doesn't seem able to determine events. With your frame of mind, your futher investigation would retrive nothing - what do you think the family would say.... and don't you think they (family) are scripting soty at present?

* Are you ignorant? Watch the damn Wife Swap show... this was a total hoax.. hell even watch the damn home video of the parents who where THERE WHEN THE CRAFT WENT OFF. Watch the DAMN INTERVIEW VIDEOS. Your department is so god damn gullible. How you are a sheriff is beyond me.

* Anyone can see this guy set this whole thing up. If you do not proceed with charges you are a fool. And I'm certain your desk will soon have someone elses name on it. So take your arm from around his neck and stop kissing this creep. He's been endangering these kids for a while now and yoko ono is in on it also....Good luck on your book.

* THIS MORNING ON CNN I HEARD THE BIG MOUTHED,FAT ,BALD HEADED, OVER INFLATED EGO OF A SHERIFF GO ON AND ON AND ON ABOUT THE KID IN THE DAMN BALLON. WHO CARES? EVERYONE GETS THEIR FIFTEEN MINUTES OF FAME IN LIFE AND NOW THIS BLOW HARD OF A SHERIFF HAS HAD HIS. THERE HAVE BEEN SERIAL KILLERS AND TERRORISTS WHO HAVE NOT GOTTEN THIS MUCH PRESS THANKS TO MR. BIG MOUTH.

"In fact, I'm pretty ticked off that I had to spend my weekend dealing with them instead of some quality time in the saddle," Alderden wrote. "That said, sometimes the Sheriff just has to be the spokesperson instead of putting it off on the Press Information Officer. I did my best to put an end to the media circus and have refused to do any more interviews or morning TV shows, even turning down Dr. Phil."

Yet more theater from this whole Heene affair and, in the Age of the Blog, it's only fitting that a sheriff who favors star spangled cowboy shirts become a celebrity - and then blog about it.

The only real question worth asking Sheriff Alderden at this point is "Orton or Cutler?" Clearlyy, he has an opinion:

Fortunately, I also had some supporters.

* Sheriff I sure wish you lived in Illinois I am Glad to see you go after the parents of ballon boy I hope they have to pay for everything. Is it possible to charge the reality show as a co-conspriritor? But mainly I want to congradulate you on having the "cajones" to publicly state that TV reality shows are plain garbage. If you ever get to Harvard IL I'll buy you a beer and I don't even drink.

I'm originally from Illinois, so I might look you up next time I'm there. I've been known to have beer or two during a Bronco's or Bear's game.

Thank God for America and its inherent sense of entrepreneurship.

Give us lemons and we don't whine about the bitter juice. We add some high fructose corn syrup, farm production to China and profit from lemonade that's bad enough enough to make us fat and give us cancer, but too tasty to pass up.

Friends and neighbors, Balloon Boy, and his media circus parents, is our lemonade. And the story that keeps on giving, well, keeps on giving. And just in time for halloween!

Thanks to a box, a shiny balloon and some schadenfreude-fueled imagination, you, too, can be Balloon Boy for halloween (TV interview vomit optional).

There's even some helpful advice from the geniuses at Microflight that thought this up:

Now you too can enjoy all the media attention you want with Plantraco's Balloon Boy Hoax kit. A great flying saucer that is going to put a big smile on your face. Colorado flying saucers and hot air balloon hoaxes are famous these days, get on the bandwagon for trick-or-treat halloween fun and loads of laughs for everyone!

Just ring the doorbell and say "I'm supposed to be flying in there, but my dad said to stay in the box for the show!" - you are practically guaranteed to get double and triple halloween treats with this authentic and collectible Balloon Boy Flying Saucer Hoax trick costume!

Halloween has morphed into a holiday - no, holiday doesn't seem right, but go with with it - offering fun and candy for the kiddies, a chance for adults to dress up in hilarious costumes and get hammered and, of course, the opportunity to set fire to Detroit. And every year there's a transcendent, and usually nonsensical, news story that creates fodder for the grownups to play dressup.

This year we get little Falcon and the fighting Heene clan to thank for our thrills and chills.

This clearly has family possibilities - or even cross-family if you explore the "Wife Swap" aspects.

Kanye West is not gonna let Spike Jonze's short film, "We were once a fairytale," finish.

Just one day after the odd 10-minute opus was released, Chicagoan West pulled the joint from his own site without warning or explanation. The film shows a drunken rapper exorcising his demons as normal people look on.

Sounds familiar for some reason.

The beleaguered rapper debuted the clip on his Web site Monday before removing it. In it, West is shown acting drunk and obnoxious, and at the end of it, he stabs himself with a sword and pulls what appears to be a little mouselike demon out of his stomach. He then gives the demon a sword, and it stabs itself.

A rep for Jonze says the video was made within the past year. West's publicist did not respond to an Associated Press e-mail seeking comment.

How's this for a Friday happy-end-to-the-week story?

The 6-month-old baby in this video survived a faceplant onto the track and sudden meeting with a commuter train in Australia.

The train pushed the stroller about 130 feet along the tracks before it stopped while the frantic mother could only watch helplessly. The security video footage released Friday shows the mother looking away for a moment when the stroller suddenly rolls off the edge of a station platform and onto the tracks. The mother panics as she looks back and sees the oncoming train hit the stroller, but the baby boy survived with only minor injuries.

Victoria state Police Sergeant Michael Ferwerda called Thursday's incident a "lucky escape" and said people should be cautious in train stations.

Meanwhile, grumbling commuters were distraught over their train being delayed, but thankful it wasn't for anything as stupid as a boy in a balloon shaped like a flying saucer hoax scare.

Death, it turns out, is anything but dignified for Michael Jackson.

His family continues to squabble over the estate. The label is marketing his work, using his death as a profit engine. His brain was held in deep freeze as his death investigation continues.

And now this ... his singed hair from the infamous 1984 Pepsi commercial fire accident is up for sale.

According to the London Sun newspaper, Ralph Cohen, the executive producer of the commercial, saved the hairs in his coat, which he had used to try to put the flames on Jackson's head out. Now the dozen singed hairs are going on the block in an auction expected to bring in a whopping $1,500.

Of course, that price also includes Cohen's harrowing tale of the day:

"And then, as Michael on his cue, was supposed to come down the stairs the explosion went off and the first thing I noticed was - he was about half way down the stairs - and I noticed flame emanating from his hair.

"And it took me a moment to register what exactly was happening because there was so much lights and so many different things go on sic] it was a little confusing but I noticed his hair was on fire and I immediately rushed out from my position.

"I pulled my jacket off as I was running and proceeded to, when I reached him, put it over his head."

Richard Davie from International Autograph Auctions is selling them at the Edwardian Radisson Hotel at Heathrow, London, on October 17.

The hairs are said to be worth about twice as much as when Jackson was alive. The video flameout is pointed to by many Jackson watchers as the beginning of the end for the King of Pop. After suffering second degree burns, he became hooked on pain killers, live-in doctors and bad advice until the time of his death by cardiac arrest this summer.

That, if it were the end of the story, would be enough to cover the weird quotient for the day. But when it comes to Michael Jackson, there's always more.

The Arlington Heights, IL., company, LifeGem, already has plans for about 100 more of Jackson's burned hairs - making them into diamonds. Dean Van den Biesen, one of the company's co-founders, says the 7- to 9-month process to make diamonds from Jackson's fried locks is underway.

"We have the Armani suit jacket, the locks of hair, the documentation. Everything," Van den Biesen said Tuesday.

How many diamonds does 100 hairs get you? About three by the time the carbon purification process the company advertises is complete. As to who gets those diamonds when they're done, plans are still being developed.

You'll just have to make due with the King's latest single - or is it his single? - for your Jackson fix in the meantime. Or, there's always the other King's hair auction, if you really must go that route.