Yes, Google is an all-powerful overlord to which we all must bow. But like any good false god or dictator, occasionally trinkets of affection are rained down on the unwashed masses.
So Happy ChrismaHunnaKwanzika, everyone! Google has the gift of free WiFi in select airports for the holidays - starting now through January 15.
"We're very happy to extend our Holiday Wi-Fi gift to the millions of people who will spend time in airports over the next few months," said Marissa Mayer, Vice President of Search Products and User Experience at Google. "We know that this is a very hectic travel season for people, and we hope that free Wi-Fi will make both traveling and connecting with friends and family a little bit easier."
Sounds great, right? Well, before you get too much spirit flowing, there is a lump of coal in quite a few stockings. The deal only stretches to 47 airports, none in Chicago area, if that's important to you, though Milwaukee and Madison are participating.
Sometimes, not always, but usually when you need it most, the Internet is a hero. And occasionally the hero has a sidekick in the form of local TV advertising.
Welcome to the Hall of Justice, manned, in every sense of the word, by Robert Lee, the owner of the Alabama mobile home sales firm Cullman Liquidation. Robert is here to sell his previously owned homes on wheels, and he doesn't care if you buy or not. He's been hit in the face multiple times with a crescent wrench, smashed in the back of the head with a fence post and working in mobile home - not trailers! - sales for 20 years. At this point in life, brutal honesty is his strongest weapon.
From the sound effects to the angles, shots and feel of this spot by two guys named Rhett and Link and their site ilovelocalcommercials.com, there's nothing not awesome about this effort. And if the commercial weren't cool enough for your valuable Internet time, it get's better! There's a making-of effort that lets you in on the life of our hero just a little bit more:
The dynamic duo behind the production, Rhett and Link, a comedy team from North Carolina who also host a popular Webcast on Ustream, is currently working on a series producing local commercials for businesses nominated by fans and viewers. It's a nationwide effort and they're just on business no. 2, so jump in now if you've got a place that needs the Robert Lee treatment.
When the Balloon Boy saga unfolded on live TV, it captivated much of the nation. The viewership was made up of a little bit of every type of person: concerned and horrified viewers, conspiracy theory nutjobs, fans of the morbid and everything in between. And perhaps the one unifying element that pulled these disparate groups together was a collective judgment of the rescue and response efforts.
And, of course, there would be no shortage of suggestions on how to bring Falcon Heene safely down from his escaping flying saucer nightmare at 7,000 feet.
Spectators watching the alleged balloon boy hoax unfold on live TV suggested paragliders, skydivers, fishing hooks and more to bring down the flying saucer-shaped craft thought to be carrying the 6-year-old boy - of course we learned it was an apparent publicity stunt.
The e-mails flooding Larimer County, CO., Sheriff Jim Alderden's inbox have turned to criticism of his actions in the case. And Alderden, to his credit, has responded in his weekly blog post - "Up, Up and Away." Alderden writes that people have sent e-mails from around the world, some of them calling him gullible, fat and bald with an over-inflated ego. They compared him to Barney Fife, the bumbling sheriff's deputy on the 1960s TV show "The Andy Griffith Show."
Fat and bald he'll cop to. As for the rest? Full of hot air, says the face of balloon justice. Here's a look at some of the negative response the native Illinoisan has gotten:
The majority of e-mails I received later weren't nearly as complimentary.
* Ok Barney Fife........ Law enforcement shouldnt be sceptical??? Then OJ was totally innocent in Larimer County. You are an Idiot!!!!!!!!!
* You seem to be a real pushover..... why do you want an interview again....you are sold on their story....and your department doesn't seem able to determine events. With your frame of mind, your futher investigation would retrive nothing - what do you think the family would say.... and don't you think they (family) are scripting soty at present?
* Are you ignorant? Watch the damn Wife Swap show... this was a total hoax.. hell even watch the damn home video of the parents who where THERE WHEN THE CRAFT WENT OFF. Watch the DAMN INTERVIEW VIDEOS. Your department is so god damn gullible. How you are a sheriff is beyond me.
* Anyone can see this guy set this whole thing up. If you do not proceed with charges you are a fool. And I'm certain your desk will soon have someone elses name on it. So take your arm from around his neck and stop kissing this creep. He's been endangering these kids for a while now and yoko ono is in on it also....Good luck on your book.
* THIS MORNING ON CNN I HEARD THE BIG MOUTHED,FAT ,BALD HEADED, OVER INFLATED EGO OF A SHERIFF GO ON AND ON AND ON ABOUT THE KID IN THE DAMN BALLON. WHO CARES? EVERYONE GETS THEIR FIFTEEN MINUTES OF FAME IN LIFE AND NOW THIS BLOW HARD OF A SHERIFF HAS HAD HIS. THERE HAVE BEEN SERIAL KILLERS AND TERRORISTS WHO HAVE NOT GOTTEN THIS MUCH PRESS THANKS TO MR. BIG MOUTH.
"In fact, I'm pretty ticked off that I had to spend my weekend dealing with them instead of some quality time in the saddle," Alderden wrote. "That said, sometimes the Sheriff just has to be the spokesperson instead of putting it off on the Press Information Officer. I did my best to put an end to the media circus and have refused to do any more interviews or morning TV shows, even turning down Dr. Phil."
Yet more theater from this whole Heene affair and, in the Age of the Blog, it's only fitting that a sheriff who favors star spangled cowboy shirts become a celebrity - and then blog about it.
The only real question worth asking Sheriff Alderden at this point is "Orton or Cutler?" Clearlyy, he has an opinion:
Fortunately, I also had some supporters.
* Sheriff I sure wish you lived in Illinois
I am Glad to see you go after the parents of ballon boy
I hope they have to pay for everything.
Is it possible to charge the reality show as a co-conspriritor?
But mainly I want to congradulate you on having the "cajones" to publicly state that TV reality shows are plain garbage.
If you ever get to Harvard IL I'll buy you a beer and I don't even drink.
I'm originally from Illinois, so I might look you up next time I'm there. I've been known to have beer or two during a Bronco's or Bear's game.
By Thomas Conner on October 21, 2009 12:46 PM
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Kanye West is dead. Long live Kanye West.
Or so some Twitter prankster would have you believe.
Early today, Twitter became abuzz with rumors that Chicago's most notorious rapper had passed on. The phrase "RIP Kanye West" began reproducing in tweets throughout the service, becoming a trending topic that's still No. 1 on the site as of this post.
West is, however, still alive and kicking. As The Daily Swarm put it in its round-up of news reports about this, he continues to not be dead.
The moral of the story: It's ridiculously easy to start rumoriffic mayhem. We propose some new hashtag heard-its ... #mileymising, #Tribuneshutdown, #daleyretires. Your suggestions?
Kanye West is not gonna let Spike Jonze's short film, "We were once a fairytale," finish.
Just one day after the odd 10-minute opus was released, Chicagoan West pulled the joint from his own site without warning or explanation. The film shows a drunken rapper exorcising his demons as normal people look on.
Sounds familiar for some reason.
The beleaguered rapper debuted the clip on his Web site Monday before removing it. In it, West is shown acting drunk and obnoxious, and at the end of it, he stabs himself with a sword and pulls what appears to be a little mouselike demon out of his stomach. He then gives the demon a sword, and it stabs itself.
A rep for Jonze says the video was made within the past year. West's publicist did not respond to an Associated Press e-mail seeking comment.
How's this for a Friday happy-end-to-the-week story?
The 6-month-old baby in this video survived a faceplant onto the track and sudden meeting with a commuter train in Australia.
The train pushed the stroller about 130 feet along the tracks before it stopped while the frantic mother could only watch helplessly. The security video footage released Friday shows the mother looking away for a moment when the stroller suddenly rolls off the edge of a station platform and onto the tracks. The mother panics as she looks back and sees the oncoming train hit the stroller, but the baby boy survived with only minor injuries.
Victoria state Police Sergeant Michael Ferwerda called Thursday's incident a "lucky escape" and said people should be cautious in train stations.
Meanwhile, grumbling commuters were distraught over their train being delayed, but thankful it wasn't for anything as stupid as a boy in a balloon shaped like a flying saucer hoax scare.
By Thomas Conner on October 14, 2009 11:43 AM
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Can you put the iPhone down without freaking out?
From the utterly obvious file: A study has found that most people get very, very stressed out when they don't have an Internet connection.
But it's more than that. The study -- from The Future Report and commissioned by British Internet service provider Virgin Media -- coins an acronym for people who are slightly hooked on their wifi mainline. Those who not only love their tech but experience great anxiety when they are disconnected are SOSOs. They "switch on to switch off" -- that is, they experience less stress as long as they see this:
More than 35 percent of those surveyed said they kinda freaked out if they were unable to stay in relatively constant contact with friends and family via email, Web sites or social networking services.
In addition, the SOSOs don't care if you find their anxiety ridiculous. The same percentage reported that they don't feel guilty about always having a computer or Web-activated cell phone within reach.
The numbers were higher for stay-at-home parents.
"An 'always on' lifestyle may not be for everyone but there is a significant number of people for whom always being connected actually increases peace of mind," says Mark Schweitzer, COO of Virgin Media.
How about you, Yanks? Do you get the shakes when you leave the bars, as it were?
Famed Chicago Sun-Times Page 1 Editor James Smith has been on Oprah. He's posterized President Obama. He's even hung out with Muhammad Ali.
But it's his musical taste that sets him apart.
In this first installment of what will be an occasional series, we take a look at what he's rocking on his iPhone, the radio, TV or, in this case, YouTube.
Today's choice: "'65 Love Affair," the classic Paul Davis epic that marked his departure from garbagey country ballads to garbagey pop.
Enjoy, we know you will be rocking the white man overbite before you know it!
Vimeo member Eric Spiegelman put together this slightly eerie montage of President Obama doing the grip-and-grin line from a recent meeting at the United Nations with foreign dignitaries. Spiegelman grabbed the images from the State Department's Flickr site and 20 seconds later you have this impressive proof that Obama has a very consistent smile.
On Wednesday, the Obamas hosted a reception at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York, during which they stood for 130 photographs with visiting foreign dignitaries in town for the UN meeting. The President has exactly the same smile in every single shot.
So there you go. Who needs a cutout when the real thing works this well?
Hat tip to Chicagoist for digging this up on a quiet Friday.
A three-day-old baby boy, weighing 19.2-pounds, lays next to a standard size newborn baby at a hospital in Kisaran, North Sumatra, Indonesia on Thursday, Sept. 24, 2009. (Andi Anshari~AP; EPA below)
It's officially baby day here at Shiny Objects. The question is, does this whopper of a newborn beat out the mom who got pregnant two separate times over a few weeks?
The answer is yes. Hell, yes. He'll outweigh them both.
At 19 pounds - and 24-inches long - this hulking mound of baby clocks in at the top in terms of baby sizes born in Indonesia.
Thankfully, the as-yet unnamed tyke was born by Cesarean, but good grief, the poor mom probably had to be carted around in a wheelbarrow for the final trimester. And how do you haul the epic bundle of joy now? Somehow a Baby Bjorn just doesn't measure up.
"This heavy baby made the surgery really tough, especially the process of taking him out of his mum's womb," Dr. Binsar Sitanggang said in an interview. "His legs were so big."
And don't even start on the feeding needs of an eating/sleeping/pooping machine that weighs more than three average newborns lumped together.
"He's got a strong appetite, it's almost nonstop feeding," Sitanggangsaid.
Now let's see this little? monster get his groove on to Beyonce. Then again, maybe not - Jakarta ia already earthquake-prone.
Sometimes you just need a video of a baby dancing to Beyonce to get you through the week.
You know, unless you're Kanye West and you become enraged at the sight of a toddler upstaging Beyonce's "Single Ladies," the greatest video ever made. It's probably just lucky he didn't snatch the little guy's binky mid-wiggle.
Now, where does this kid fall in the pantheon of people to copy Beyonce's wildly popular work? You be the judge.
The mega-schlock moments cascaded from the stage Wednesday night as ABC's mega-hit "Dancing with the Stars" tapped out a few numbers to celebrate the life of Patrick Swayze.
OK. Fine. In a world filled with disingenuous moments of constructed emotion, why not benefit with some extra ratings on top of the poor guy's final year of suffering. But please, a little originality isn't such a terrible thing.
Yeah, they hit "Dirty Dancing" and "Ghost" moments, complete with open shirts and short skirts. But that's taking the easy way out. Why no dances celebrating his other side? There was a musical/dancish interlude with Helen Hunt in "Next of Kin." What about the incredibly sensual seduction scene in "Road House" when Sam Elliot's Wade Garret tries to lure Kelly Lynch away from Swayze's Dalton in the all-night diner? Or how 'bout the choreography from "To Wong Foo Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar?"
Or the touching final moments as he carries the nearly lifeless body of brother Charlie Sheen in "Red Dawn."
Any of these would have added something to the moment. Try again, "DWTS," you can do better. You get a "5" for this effort - not enough content.
Imagine going in for an ultrasound for the one child you're expecting, only to find another mystery fetus has appeared since you originally got pregnant.
It's a shocker few people in medical history have experienced, but Todd and Julia Grovenurg are the odds-busting expectant parents looking forward to two bundles of joy where there should be only one, reports KFSM in Fort Smith:
"We went back June 4th to do our ultrasound and that was a shocking, absolutely shocking experience," Julia Grovenburg said. "I turned around and I looked at him [husband Todd], and I said well at least we know we're not having twins!"
But not so fast, mom-to-be ...
"About 2 or 3 minutes later she said and baby number two has got a healthy little heartbeat, and I just started gagging," Julia said. "I mean, I was getting sick." "Both in shock," Todd agreed.
To make things a little weirder, the two babies have due dates in two different years - December 2009 and January 2010.
It's a condition know as superfetation, which loosely means kid number two was conceived after kid number one was already in the oven. And it's apparently extremely rare - or at least rarely documented - according to Dr. Karen Boyle in an ABC "Good Morning America" interview:
"When the woman had her ultrasound initially, they saw one sack, one baby developing, and that baby had a certain gestational age; then they noticed a second heartbeat in a child that was much, much younger developmentally.
"It does really sound like this is a true case of different conception times for these children," Boyle continued, adding that she could only find "about 10 reported cases" of superfetation."
The good news in this medical marvel story is that both babies are apparently healthy and developing normally, though little brother is about two-and-a-half weeks behind big sister. There is usually a risk in the few cases like this that the younger sibling's development will be hampered by the older one's growth, but for now they mini Grovenburg's are playing together nicely.
Not even a bout of "stop touching me-itis" to report so far.
Tuesday, Sept. 22, 2009. A day that will live in infamy in Chicago?
According to 922warning.com, yes. Seems we're scheduled for nuclear armageddon today. Reason to worry or is this just a crackpot bit of end-of-world b.s. on the Web (does that happen?). Let's look at the facts as broken down by the site:
Firstly, keep in mind that a "second 9/11" or "9/11 sequel" could occur on 9/12/YYYY or 9/22/YYYY, rather than on 9/11/YYYY. Furthermore, eight years passed between the 1993 World Trade Center bombing and 9/11, and now eight years have passed since 9/11.
• 9/22/2009 is a Tuesday, as was 9/11/2001.
• 9/22/2009 is the first day of fall ("fall" being the operative word here).
• Chicago is known as "The Second City."
• President Obama is from Chicago.
• Chicago is a candidate city for the 2016 Summer Olympics. The host city will be selected in October.
• Illinois Lottery drawings are held at 9:22 p.m.
• 9/11 occurred during President Bush's first year in office; President Obama is currently in his first year in office.
• September 22nd is the 265th day of the year and is followed by the final 100 days of the year.
Seems like a slam dunk call for you to grab some cans of Spam and get to the fallout shelter, right? I mean, the Lottery is involved, people!
Now, frankly, we're just a little skeptical of this bit of intel. First of all, the Doomsday Clock is still at 5-til-midnight, so we have a ways to go there. And da Mayor has yet to tell the City Council to let this happen. Nevermind the fact that the Cook County Board has no immediate plans for a fallout tax.
Besides, the Cubs aren't a threat to win the World Series this year, which is the true test of credibility when it comes to an end-of-days scenario.
Chicagoist has more on the latest action item in our government's war on ... umm ... us, apparently. They'd just better not piss of the cops or some heads are getting cracked over this one.
If you pay attention to the Darwin Awards, the annual recounting of some of the stupidest people in the world killing themselves in stupid ways, you may have wondered: "What about the runners up?" Surely there must be some really dumb deaths that didn't quite make the cut.
Well, this video doesn't quite answer that question, but it does give a glimpse into how a Darwin death might take place. Apparently being in Europe and near open-road auto racing is a good start on you way to all-to-mortal immortality. Can be there? A skateboard will do nicely in a pinch.
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