But none of those was an imposing enough mountain to scale for 22-year-old Justin Herd of Glen Burnie, MD. No, only the daunting image of a full box of Tostino's Pizza Rolls - that's 40 rolls, people!!! - in 2 minutes was enough to get this guy up for a challenge.
And why not? What better way to express yourself in this American culture than to give yourself the foie gras treatment on a Web cam for all the world to enjoy and ridicule. And 122,999 viewings and a recent spot atop the Digg.com hot trends list are enough to prove that fame never means having to bring pride into the mix.
It may be too late to still be cataloging moments in our collective experience to pinpoint as bits of the downfall of Western Civilization, but we need to make an effort to make sure this Herculean non-task is added to the list if possible. There's so much wrong about it that it's nearly a study in microcosm of everything wrong with us us a people in the age of voyeurism.
And to cap it off, Justin's 2-minute tour turned into 4 minutes of self torture. He missed his target by a full 2 minutes! So much for the world of competitive eating, which is silly and obscene, but at least would have given this nonsense an air of credibility - rather than the odor that actually wafted from the feat.
But all is not lost, at least for this pizza-popping fellow. At least there's the potential for a Grape Smirnoff Ice endorsement in his future.
Oh, and in case you were wondering, here's the calorie count on the challenge of the day:
Calories: 1452 calories
Fat: 72.6 g
Cholesterol: 66 mg