Reports of our demise are greatly exaggerated

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So, you may have heard our corporate parent, Sun-Times Media Group, filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy Tuesday. Many people have taken this to mean we're a dead media provider walking.

Not true! And here's five reasons why ...

1. City government

Look, those people down at Daley Plaza are here for one reason only - to mess with you. Without our expert reporting on the deals, scams, names and numbers, how would you know who was taking what out of your pocket - from a city government standpoint? Covering the city? You can't leave important Chicago stuff like that to the Trib.

2. Oprah

If the Queen of Talk - and pretty much everything else in the world - says we're a great paper, who are we to disrespect by going out of business? By the way, O, you may have heard we're for sale ... cheap.

3. Cubs, Sox, Hawks, Bears, Bulls, etc.

Look, there's enough misery spread amongst our sports teams that our struggles hardly register as a blip on the radar. I mean, 100 years since a championship? The Dollar Bill Wirtz years? The cavalcade of mediocre quarterbacks, etc., etc. We've got a long way to go before we can approach that level of futility. On a related note, we do have baseball hats and team shirts for sale in the store ...

4. No more Mariotti!

We've never been more popular than since the "tell-it-like-it-is" windbag left for AOL Sports. Our inbox instantly changed from a holding tank for hate mail to a fountain of joy for our readers. You might hate him, but you love us.

5. Conrad Black is still in stir

The mastermind behind our financial issues is still making license plates, blogging and learning the shiv arts behind bars in Florida. As long as His Lordship stays put away, we've got a halfway decent shot at holding onto the cash we have.

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    This page contains a single entry by Craig Newman published on April 1, 2009 6:58 PM.

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