I'm sure there's more than a few people who would like to jam Bernie Madoff's head into the spokes of a bike wheel, but they'll just have to make due with the Topps trading card effigy.
From the people who bring you the collectibles adored by young baseball fans - and slightly creepy adults - for decades comes a new line of trading cards dedicated to the world of sleazy business. Madoff, Enron, even the namesake Charles Ponzi are all there in the "World's Biggest Hoaxes, Hoodwinks & Bamboozles" pack, due this summer.
"These cards feature 20 perpetrators of some of the most notorious pranks, dubious claims, and outright frauds of the last 2 centuries," promises a Topps press release.
Don't worry, the gum has probably been pre-stolen and chewed into uselessness for you.
Packs of the cards will sell for $3 apiece at retailers including Target and Wal-Mart and odds of landing the Big Bern are about 1-in-12. So good luck, kids!
Then you can proudly display them with your complete three-set collection of serial killer cards.