The Onion again proves superiority to American media. Important stories include:
Well, I've Sold The Paper To The Chinese
The Internet Allows For A Free Exchange Of Unmitigated Information
Potato-Faced Youngster Lauded For Memorizing Primitive 26-Character Alphabet
Weakling President Asks Imaginary Man In Sky to Bless Nation
Nothing At All Happens To 28 Tibetan Protesters, Their Families
Why Did No One Inform Us Of The Imminent Death Of The American Newspaper Industry?
"I don't think you go to a play to forget, or to a movie to be distracted. I think life generally is a distraction and that going to a movie is a way to get back, not go away." -- Tom Noonan
"Cinema is a matter of what's in the frame and what's out." -- Martin Scorsese
“An idea does not exist apart from the words that express it. Style is not an envelope enclosing a message; the envelope is the message.” -- Dwight Macdonald
"There's nothing I like less than bad arguments for a view that I hold dear." -- Daniel Dennett
4 Comments
oooohhh how HORRIBLe it must be to live in a country where the mainstream media isn't independent at all but carefully controlled by state & corporate interests!!
Invisible Man bless America!
I fear, Jim, that this is just the tip of the iceberg.
This is awesome -- helps me realize how much I've missed The Onion of late. Since being laid off I've been spending more time reading books and print newspapers(ha ha). Thanks for posting!
Jim, Chinese love scallions, too. :)
Btw, the Chinese character for fish "魚", which we see is placed at the end of each mock article, happens to rhyme with another character, "愚", which means to fool someone, make a fool of, foolish or stupid, etc.. It's like April Fool's Day, but in summer. Just a hunch.
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