Today in the Chicago Sun-Times and on RogerEbert.com I have a review of Eric Steel's documentary "The Bridge," which has haunted me for two weeks since I first saw it. A movie that takes suicide seriously, and considers the pain of the person who wishes to die as well as the anguish and guilt of the survivors, is a rarity. Over and over, survivors say they don't understand why someone they knew and loved wanted to cease to exist; but a surprising number admit the agony that would drive someone to suicide is beyond their imagination. They have to accept, and respect, that it was real.
A father says: "“Some people say the body is a temple. He thought his body was a cage, a prison. In his mind, he knew he was loved, that he had everything and could do anything. And yet he felt trapped, and that was the only way he could get free.? "The Bridge" makes the unthinkable, taboo subject of suicide real in honest and realistic ways that maybe even those who have never considered it can understand. The mother of a jumper recalls it took someone else to finally get her to realize: "It's not about you. It has nothing to do with you." That may be as hard for some to get their heads around as the suicide itself. Suicide is the ultimate solipsistic act; it's not about anyone else.
The few, mostly superficial discussions of suicide we have in our culture (30,000+ in the U.S. in an average year; only about 25 or so off the Golden Gate, which is nevertheless the world's leading suicide destination), tend to objectify the suicidal person and concentrate on prevention and grief and downplaying the reality out of fear that others may be encouraged to try it. Copycat incidents are real, but peer pressure is not one of the leading causes of suicide -- particularly off the Golden Gate Bridge. It takes a certain kind of personality choose such a dramatic, public exit, and the bridge is already famous as a suicide spot.
"The Bridge" is being used by some to advocate a multi-million-dollar barrier to help prevent jumping off the Golden Gate. I guess one's attitude toward this would depend on whether you see suicide as a problem of mental illness or architecture. Barriers have to be erected to keep people from accidentally falling off tall structures, and to protect those below. But I don't know of anyone who has accidentally gone off the bridge (unless, perhaps, they foolishly decided to jump up on the railing), or anyone who has been hurt by a falling suicide jumper. "The Bridge" de-mythologizes and de-romanticizes suicide. I think that's healthy.
Looking this closely and intently into suicide, you almost fear too much empathy, the way you dread the vertigo that accompanies acrophobia: What you're afraid of is not so much that you might fall, but that impulse within you that wants to eliminate the yawning tension between you and the surface below. But as several in the film acknowledge, the eternal dilemma of suicide is not something we can diminish by hushing it up or mischaracterizing what it is.
12 Comments
after reading your review:
i understand the filmmakers' moral obligation to stop any suicides in progress (by alerting bridge authorities) but something about that makes me really uncomfortable. someone has made the decision to do something with their life and i'm not sure it's anyone's responsibility to actively prevent them from enacting that decision. just wanted to get that out.
The last funeral I went to was for someone very close to me and my family, and he was a suicide. I won't go into details, but suffice to say that he very much wanted to die. Compounding the dedication in method was the fact that he was a very religious man who took suicide to be a sin. That, more than anything else, still floors me to this day: aside from overcoming the usual thoughts that hinder suicidal action, he had to overcome his own (very strongly held) personal beliefs. He was that desperate.
He wasn't the first in his family, either. His dad committed suicide when the man in question was in his teens. Both were very, very smart people; the man was writing bare-bones programs five years before Microsoft would release something similar. In fact, the whole family is riddled with geniuses. This is important to note, because I think suicide of that type requires some internal debate, some kind of reasoning with oneself where you gradually shift your worldview to accept suicide as first a viable option, and then gradually the only viable option.
(Having said that, I can see the bridge as being a catalyst for spontaneous suicide among those who were already debating it. There you are, walking along, and the option presents itself; not intellectually as before, but right there in front of you, no strings, no phone calls, no notes, just one swift action and it's over. And who reading this has not made a big decision purely because the option was there and the compulsion was strong?)
I myself am prone to depression but have not been suicidally so. But I know people who are, some who successfully killed themselves and others who were revived, and it takes very little work on my part to understand the mindset that gives the "OK" sign for taking one's life. It's not a shameful thing, or an alien thing; numbers alone tell us it is a pervasive part of human experience. The curse of self-awareness, I guess.
I describe suicide as viral. In the man I first mentioned's case, I think the idea that suicide was there, an option, not just something talked about in hushed tones (or not at all) stuck in his mind ever since his own dad killed himself. Here was someone he looked up to, or at least regarded as a male authority figure he was meant to pattern himself after, and look what he did. And it stuck with him. And whatever events of his life, along with thought processes both sane and bent, narrowed him to that decision... the "evidence," the rightness of that decision as the only way, became insurmountable.
Maybe that's why no one talks about it. Maybe no one wants to empathize with a suicide because they're afraid to share that mindset, maybe they're afraid they'll catch that disease.
But I don't think denial has ever gotten us anywhere useful. Comprehension has a better track record. I really, truly hope The Bridge gets seen by the people who need to. Which especially includes those who really don't want to.
"I understand the filmmakers' moral obligation to stop any suicides in progress (by alerting bridge authorities) but something about that makes me really uncomfortable. Someone has made the decision to do something with their life and i'm not sure it's anyone's responsibility to actively prevent them from enacting that decision."
Of course it is, don't be ridiculous.
All right, this is the film I most need to see this year.
Marshall Scott
i take it you don't feel anyone has the right to decide to end their own lives, then. because if we deny people the right to make that decision, what other decisions are we allowed to prevent?
"I understand the filmmakers' moral obligation to stop any suicides in progress (by alerting bridge authorities) but something about that makes me really uncomfortable. Someone has made the decision to do something with their life and i'm not sure it's anyone's responsibility to actively prevent them from enacting that decision."
Actually, after seeing the film, I wondered about that myself. For me, one of the most powerful images was that of a woman being hauled off the rafters by a passerby as she tries to fight him off. Another survivor speaks of how he hates the police who manipulated him and ultimately prevented him.
On the other hand, young man who actually managed to survive the fall says that the instant he left the railing, he changed his mind. Others speak about survivors and mention how phyically easy it would've been to jump if they were truly determined to go through with it.
Either way, the footage they captured combined with the testimonials is not gonna leave me any time soon.
I remember that years ago a article that was similar in nature appeared in Harper's. It stuck with me for months. Was the writer somehow involved with the filmmakers?
"I really, truly hope The Bridge gets seen by the people who need to. Which especially includes those who really don't want to."
Someone close to me has expressed a desire, perhaps even a need, to see the movie, but is afraid to because of the reaction it might provoke, either further depression or encouragement to continue thinking seriously about suicide. I wish there was a way to predict what the right answer might be for this person, but I have this feeling it might be a good thing, because I agree with you, Ken-- denial has been utterly useless in this situation.
Thanks for all the comments above. This movie has shot to the top of my own must-see list.
Of course, you can never predict how somebody's going to respond to a movie, but (as someone who's suffered from clinical depression, and some intense suicidal periods -- fortunately responsive to medication) I think "The Bridge" might be a good way for suicidal people to feel less isolated. Particularly if they can go with friends and talk about the movie afterwards. As I said in my review, it can be terrifying to talk about suicide, for fear of getting too close. "The Bridge" at least takes suicide seriously, rather than passing it off as simply "acting crazy" or as a public health phenomenon. There was an incident in my neighborhood just this weekend that I may write about because it connects with much of what is evoked and discussed in "The Bridge."
I have not seen this film, but I plan on getting a copy to watch when it is out on DVD. My big sister committed suicide 1/04. She had no previous attempts, failed or otherwise. She went to an out of the way hotel, the sleaziest hotel of all. That way no one she knew would find her, and no one around to revive her. I can't be angry at her and given her history and the pain I always felt from her I won't ever be angry. I don't blame her, but it still didn't stop it from being very painful and it didn't stop the guilt,and it never goes away. It is very hard for those of us left behind, not just because we have lost a loved one, but because no one asks how you are doing. Not even my partner,no one wants to talk about it, and that makes it worse. So I think this is the hardest death for survivors to get over. Honestly I wish she was murdered instead because then everyone would care, and there would be no end to people asking you if you need to talk or a shulder to lean on.
I have not seen this film, but I'm very glad the subject matter has finally been taken up by media with a view to lifting the taboo on this dreadful affliction. No one understands fully the miasma in which a suicidal person finds themselve, no one. Not the potential suicide victim, nor their potential grieving loved ones. And it can only be good that someone tries to help; if the person intent on suicide can do it, they will. But no one could look on, be aware and do nothing without tremendous guilt. Guilt is inherent in every aspect of this, no matter what. Many suicidal people recover from this terrible place and continue relatively happy lives. Others never escape.
But the world would only be a better place if others acknowledged and tried to understand the predicament that suicidal people find themselve in. A film such as this might open some of those doors.
I've seen clips of "The Bridge" on YouTube. The images were haunting and disturbing. Every time I think of the Golden Gate Bridge now, I automatically think of death/suicide. I believe the issue of suicide should be addressed, but isn't in today's society. Why? b/c people either don't care, or view suicide as something reserved for the mentally ill. I hope all the jumpers are resting in peace, and they won't have to deal with the pain of living anymore.
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