Sunday Lunch with Aleta St. James
Her message, she says, is that you can overcome any obstacle. But what I've learned, in an afternoon with "success coach" and author Aleta St. James, is that, sometimes, being self-centered and slightly clueless can really work out well for a person.
St. James has arrived in Chicago for an engagement at a new age-y alternative medicine conference at the Donald E. Stephens Convention Center in Rosemont. Despite having a reservation at a hotel adjacent to O'Hare Airport, she has flown in to Midway. And she has made no arrangements to get from one place to another.
She has taken a cab from Midway to our lunch appointment, at Transitions Bookplace on North Avenue, where she has been killing time, enlisting the staff's help in storing her bags and setting up a work space in the bookstore's small cafe. She has been here for more than an hour by the time I arrive, early, for our interview.
"How can I get from here to the Sofitel?" she asks me, referring to her suburban hotel.
And, while it's tempting to suggest to St. James, a self-described "intuitive," that she figure it out for herself, I find myself offering to give her a ride to Rosemont after we eat. She is one of those women who, although she is nearly 60 years old, projects a certain youthful helplessness. I have, for reasons I can't fully explain, the distinct sense that she will never make it to the suburbs without me and that dropping her off at a Blue Line stop would only result in disaster. I am also fairly certain that she has never had to carry her own suitcase. Anywhere.
'I was born intuitive'
St. James -- a stage name, changed from the less glamorous and more ethnic Sliwa -- began her adult life as an actress. And, while she achieved some success in the world of theater -- the height of her fame was a run as the lead in an Amsterdam production of "Hair" -- she became best-known, on the New York acting scene, as a coach/therapist for her fellow actors.
"I was born intuitive," she explains, over vegan gazpacho and chicken salad, "so I could understand what people were thinking or feeling in their subconscious."
She supplemented these natural abilities by studying various philosophies and techniques, including actualism, primal scream therapy and massage.
"I probably went to medical school three times with everything I studied," she tells me earnestly.
And, indeed, while she might not have an M.D. next to her name, St. James has managed to use her studies quite profitably. Coaching sessions with St. James run $300 for the first hour and $200 for each additional hour. For the money, her clients get a reading of where their energy "blocks" are -- "I've been 100 percent accurate in terms of being able to read people, even over the phone," she says -- plus a "healing," in which she lays her hands over the "blocked" area, and a plan for how to change their lives, which generally includes books, tapes, exercises and positive-thinking mantras.
Seminars in 'ageless living'
St. James says she gets most of her clients by word-of-mouth, but she openly acknowledges that business really took off in 2004 when, just three days shy of her 57th birthday, she gave birth to healthy twins in a New York hospital.
"I did something everyone said was impossible," she says.
The enormous media attention that surrounded the birth -- at the time, she was said to be the oldest woman in North America to give birth to twins -- launched St. James into the new age guru equivalent of superstardom.
The twins, Gian and Francesca, now 19 months old, were conceived using donor sperm, a donor egg and implanted in St. James' womb via an IVF procedure. She is raising them as a single parent.
When I begin to ask practical questions, like about the grave health risks faced by both St. James and her children as a result of the late-in-life pregnancy, she shrugs them off. This was, she says, "absolutely the right thing" for her to do. It was "meant to be."
While adoption is certainly the right path for some, she says, it was not for her.
Interested in the logistics of how she cares for the twins, who she has left at home in New York this weekend as she attends the Rosemont convention, I ask how she found her nanny.
"Oh," she says casually, "I just prayed for her." (Stupidly, I've been relying on Craig's List.)
St. James seems not to be bothered by those who point to her decision to have children so late in life as somehow selfish. Instead of answering their criticisms, she rightly points out the sexual double standard that had the late night talk show hosts joking about her advanced age when the story first emerged in the New York tabloid press.
"David Letterman was talking about me being in Depends," she says, "How old was he when he had his son? No one jokes about men being in diapers at 57. They're all out on the golf course."
Thoroughly enjoying the last laugh, St. James has built an entire enterprise out of her age-defying pregnancy. She's giving seminars on "ageless living" and has just published a new book, Life Shift (Fireside, 247 pages, $24), that offers tips to readers of all ages on how to "let go and live your dream," no matter what it might be.
After finishing her salad, St. James is ready to head out to her hotel.
"I hope you know where we're going," she tells me, handing me a slip of paper with the address on it. "Because I don't."
Comments
"...is that, sometimes, being self-centered and slightly clueless can really work out well for a person." Pot, meet Kettle, Kettle, meet Pot! ... for someone who is so self-centered about "the boyfriend", and writing about not liking marriage, then writing about how great marriage is, you must have been clueless...then about stay at home moms, then talk about how great it is to be pregnant, not even knowing what it IS to be mom yet ... take a look in the mirror some day. Being able to type words doesn't mean you know of what you write.
Posted by: john haberkamp | July 23, 2006 08:25 PM
I've read Aleta St. James' book and very much enjoyed it... so upon reading this column I was stunned to see such a positive, interesting figure torn apart. Debra is so nasty - why is she allowed to write this column? If she hates people so much, why doesn't she get a different type of job - maybe assembling widgets at a factory? If I were Ms. St. James, I'd sue for libel.
Posted by: Marissa Miller | July 25, 2006 03:48 PM
Maybe YOU, Miss Pick-at-it, were born intuitive! You seem to have Ms. St. James all summed up in one-fell-swoop. Someone who writes a book on how to achieve one's goals is not allowed to ask for directions? Someone who has reached your infallibility status should put your bid in for the Vatican now, should there be a tragic, unexpected opening. You sound more like a mom-to-be with a grudge, and coming from actually BEING A mom, maybe you should check your raging hormones at the door, and re-evaluate.
PICKETT replies: For what it's worth, summing people up in one fell swoop is kind of my job.
Posted by: Jeanna Ellis - Los Angeles | July 25, 2006 05:36 PM
Aleta was a successful life coach long before having twins at 57. She didn't just have children at 57-and then decided to "reinvent herself" and become a life coach/spiritual healer. Her business grew substantially after the birth of her twins and then again when the book came out-but you clearly left out the fact that she was a very successful healer for over 25 years. She has had enough substantial press from creditable journalists, that even if they were not believers-they gave an objective opinion and let the audience decide. You should have left your personal opinions out of it and gotten the facts into the story instead.
Posted by: Karen Marx | July 25, 2006 08:29 PM
Seems to me that you already had Aleta St. James pre-judged before your interview. I certainly didn't view her as Self centered and clueless. Arriving at Midway and not O'hare is cerainly no large a propblem. Not having a waiting limo is not a crime. Hats off to the staff at Transition Book Store for offering their assistance with St. James bags. Being disoriented in a strange town is not a crime. Shame on you for such a negative article.
Posted by: Ronald 'Ronnie' Kelpsas | July 26, 2006 12:40 AM
I've never been to Transitions but know of it from a time of employment at the Jung Center in Evanston. From the Jung Center, I can tell you just how NOT GROUNDED many of these people are. Yes, not having arranged the most efficient means of transportation upon arrival in a strange city is not a crime. Failure to take responsibility for it IS offensive. What you do is ask for assistance and take responsibility for following the directions. This has worked for me in cities ranging from Dublin to Paris to Istanbul. I hope this woman appreciated that the assistance of Transitions' staff interfered with their ability to get the rest of their job done.
Posted by: Angie | July 26, 2006 02:21 PM
I was involved in the Health Freedom Expo (the so-called New Age-y event) that Aleta St. James was invited to participate in as one of the main featured speakers. Aleta’s transportation was arranged through the Expo personnel and it was a major screw up on our end. Ms. St. James was kept waiting at O’Hare Airport patiently, I might add for over 90 minutes and ended up having to take a cab directly to her meeting with Debra Pickett for her “Lunch With� Sun-Times column. Ms. St. James’ attitude upon being kept waiting for so long, and finding out that we had screwed up on our end, was gracious and kind. It seems that Ms. Pickett made a pre-conceived judgment of Ms. St. James’ lifestyle and life choices - I wonder why she had accepted the interview in the first place.
PICKETT replies:
Not to belabor the point, but the airport where Ms. St. James arrived was Midway, not O'Hare.
Posted by: Susan Sullivan | July 26, 2006 02:37 PM
I have worked with Aleta in Mexico, Indonesia and Thailand with groups of highly respected professionals from the United States and Europe. I can assure you that not only is she astute and professional in her presentations but also in the ogranization and orchsetration of groups in both metropolitan and rural areas.
Most professional rely on travel agents to book their reservations, especially if they travel continuously on business. Perhaps this wasn't considered when the article was written.
Rather than make a snap judgment and waste the readers time on logistics it seems that a more professional approach would have been to focus on the content of the interview and not the incidentals surrounding it.
Unfortunately the article is very weak in content and quite unprofessional and is perhaps better suited for publication in a tabloid rather than a major metropolitan newspaper.
Posted by: Randall Hayward CEO Taksu International | July 28, 2006 12:25 AM
Hello-
What is wrong with your article is you put people down to feel better about yourself. There is not one intelligent comment/ observation in the article-- just negativity. I learned nothing except that it seems you are talking about yourself in this blog, as often people do. FYI: Aleta St James was on the cover of New York Magazine in April 1999, under the article title "These Doctors Are In" and this was long before she had twins. I know this because I have worked with one of the other alternative practioners highlighted in the same article. Perhaps it would be wise for you to consider what kind of negative influences you will have on your own child once it is born. Putting others down for no good reason is not an example to set on this planet nor for your child.
Sending you good thoughts and energy as it is transformational.
Posted by: June Freeman | July 28, 2006 02:26 AM
This is not an article. This is just a column of drivel. It is quite apparent that Debra should "Picket" herself before she attempts to write another blatant shmear piece. And I naively thought the era of "yellow journalism" was over.
The Chicago Sun should seriously reconsider allowing National Enquirer rejects to write for them again. I believe in equal opportunity employment but there is no place in journalism for non-talent.
Posted by: tommysavitt | July 28, 2006 05:21 AM
Maybe Debra Pickett's right about Aleta St. James. After all if Aleta had any REAL intuition she wouldn't give an interview to someone so vituperative (you can look that word up Debra Pickett) Sarcasm aside, Aleta's a genuinely kind and caring person who only looks for the good in people, clearly quite a task with someone like Pickett! I've known Aleta for over 20 years and she's a delightful, sensitive,
and determined woman. She's a gifted healer. And talk about wasting time--instead of moaning about the assistance Aleta required, how about acknowledging that Aleta wasted HER time having lunch with a writer who had so many misconceptions and preconceptions. Journalism
at it's worst!!!!
Posted by: Linda Schleider | July 28, 2006 07:59 AM
I am a native Chicagoan now living in sunny South Beach. Previously,I lived in NYC where I had the good fortune of having some sessions with renowned healer, Aleta St James. She has worked hard to build her businss and has been very successful long before the twins came along. She is a kind, caring woman and one everyone can admire for her fulfilling her life dream of having children against all odds. I am also a journalist...get your facts straight before putting your fingers to your computer next time. I am proud to be a friend of Aleta's and wish many have the good fortune to benefit by her gifts she shares with the world. I am embarrassed that a fellow Chicagoan, Ms. Pickett can be so cruel to visitor, Aleta and ruin our reputation for being a down-to-earth friendly town! Perhaps, Ms Pickett should place herself in exile far far away from other humans!
Posted by: hope gainer | July 28, 2006 09:09 AM
Aleta is the very best tour guide one could hope to have when the seat of one's own soul is the ultimate destination....
With that said...
Do I really care if she knows the directions to the Sofitel in Chicago?
Posted by: L Marino | July 28, 2006 11:13 AM
Aleta St. James is an extraordinary woman who gets up every day in order to help people, bring them comfort and inspire them to expand their lives. She is a gifted healer and intuitive and an amazing, generous person who removes blocks from other people's lives and takes extreme responsibility for her own.
I feel sorry for Debra that she squandered her time with someone so special.
If you can't see the beauty in someone like Aleta, you need glasses. I wish a rose-colored pair for Debra.
Posted by: Julie Flanders | July 28, 2006 12:23 PM
I have known Aleta St. James for over 20 years but I would not have recognized her from your article. It is really to your disadvantage that you did not pick up on what makes her the success she is as a human being as well as one of the most gifted healers I have ever with. She has helped me feel safe and hopeful through the most difficult times in my life as well as guided me through the process of dealing with the trials we all encounter on a day to day basis.
Perhaps the best way for you to experience the Aleta St James many of know would be to book a session with her pronto!
Posted by: Lois Evans | July 28, 2006 02:30 PM
Aleta St. James has been a real help to me in my life. That's all I can say. She
is an alert, sensitive and, in my experience, infallible healer. It's appalling to read this kind of writing about her. I'm amazed Debra Pickett could have a lunch with her and be unable to sense any of this. I'd call this article libelous but that would be taking it more seriously than it deserves.
Posted by: Austin Pendleton | July 28, 2006 06:16 PM
There are so many things just plain wrong
with your article that it is hard to know where to start. First of all, you are
the kind of woman that loves to make
other women look bad - there is a really
good four letter word for that, but you
are so darn smart that I'm sure you know
exactly what I mean. If you had done one
second of background for this article
(it's obvious you didn't) you would know that Aleta had a very successful
career for decades before the twins came along...she certainly has not used them to build her reputation. She is one of the hardest working and most sincere people I have ever met. You are entitled to your opinion but get your facts straight next time - and remember, it is bad karma to be a bitch.
Posted by: Christina Dennis | July 28, 2006 08:34 PM
Self-centered? Clueless? Perhaps you should take a sledgehammer to your mirror instead of to Aleta St. James. I have known Aleta for more than 15 years--as a client, friend, and fellow mother--and I can tell you she is one of the most loving, selfless, spiritual women I know. I know I can contact her anytime I need her. When I went into labor 2,500 miles from friends and family, she dropped everything to take my call and calm my fears. It had nothing to do with enterprise or media attention or money--things you accuse her of holding important. You criticize her for coming into an airport nowhere near her hotel...what does that have to do with who she is, as a person or as a life coach? Why can't she ask how to get from Point A to Point B? Her intuitive ability to read people has nothing to do with her ability to get around a strange city. You write that she projects a "youthful helplessness". Hardly. She may be youthful and energetic, but she is certainly a highly capable, powerful woman...and she was well before the birth of her twins put her in the spotlight. You judge her for "praying" for her children, good health during a risky pregnancy, and the best possible nanny to help her care for her children. Her children are so blessed to have her for their mother. But at least you got one thing right...you are "stupidly" searching for childcare on Craig's List, where there is no screening process to their ad postings. I don't know ANY mother that would do that.
Posted by: Noelle Graf | July 29, 2006 01:47 AM