Debra Pickett

It's a tough job, being stretched out on the couch like this for hours at a time, but someone's got to do it. Just in case you have slightly less reading time than I do, here are several items not to miss:

1. For the guilty liberal who has everything: Want to stay ahead of the political correctness curve and eat only humane foods, but can't imagine giving up both lobster and foie gras? A brief piece in the Business section has just the thing for you -- a new gadget that will kill your lobster without letting it suffer. Introducing the CrustaStun.

2. For the perfectionist wife who can't quite let the socks-on-the-floor thing go: Yes, yes, we know we're not supposed to compare the housebreaking of a husband to the training of an animal. But how about an exotic animal? A nicely domesticated Modern Love.

3. Preparation for impending soccer mom-hood: Apparently, it really is as bad as I think it is, this whole culture of professionalizing childhood. Two articles shed some light on youth sports. First, one on how a local youth soccer league became a giant business enterprise. And, second, one on how much parents are spending to push their kids into athletic achievement.

4. What's in the Magazine today? I don't know. It didn't get delivered with my copy. And, because I work for a newspaper, I am obligated to pretend that I don't know you can read things online.