Already not one of the good moms
I think it started when I made a joke about alcohol and pregnancy.
R. and I were attending a cocktail reception and, when he stepped away for a moment, I held on to his drink. A few minutes later, a woman I didn't know walked up to meand informed me that I really shouldn't be drinking.
"Yeah, tell me about it," I said, patting my belly, "alcohol is what got me into this mess."
Fortunately for me, R. was one of very few other people to find that remark funny.
Since then, I have flirted with violating several other pregnancy consumption no-nos. [Actually, for the record, there's been no alcohol at all, thus far. But that will end with a glass (or two) of champagne when we celebrate our first anniversary.]
There was the time that I said I wasn't worried about caffeine (possibly associated with a risk of low birth weight and prematurity) because I wouldn't mind having a baby smaller than the usual jumbo size that runs in my husband's family.
And, falling similarly flat, was my remark, also regarding alcohol, now that I think of it, that I wouldn't mind shaving a few points off my kid's IQ because it would make high school a lot more pleasant.
Apparently, these comments were not in particularly good taste.
Somehow, though, I managed to convince myself that, despite this obviously cavalier attitude toward my future child's health and well-being, I had a good shot at being a decent mother.
Now, though, I'm starting to have my doubts.
I got my first free issue of Parenting magazine in the mail this weekend. (They sign you up at the maternity stores. It's a whole giant maternal-industrial complex. But that's a topic for another day.)
And, while I know I was supposed to be looking through it to learn all about important developmental milestones and safety tips and such, I ended up only marking a couple of pages.
They featured a cute pair of earrings and some very jazzy sneakers.
Just to be clear: that's earrings and sneakers for me. Not for the kid.
At least I do feel sort of bad about it. Perhaps maternal guilt, if not the rest of the instincts, is kicking in.
Comments
You're absolutely hilarious! I wouldnt worry too much about feeling guilty right now. You still have 18 more years to feel guilty about.
Posted by: candy | June 15, 2006 04:10 PM
Why would shaving a few points off a childs IQ make high school more pleasant?? IQ doesn't have anything at all to do with grades or class rank. For whom would it be more pleasant - you or him/her? Good grades are 90% effort.
Posted by: Robert Mize | June 20, 2006 08:45 PM