President Bush: Your crazy redneck uncle
All the grown-up pundits are weighing in on the State of the Union address today and I guess it makes sense that they're emphasizing the health care stuff and, of course, the fact that we're, um, winning in Iraq and that whole, slightly scary part, where the President spoke directly to the Iranian people. (Were the rest of us not supposed to listen? I was afraid he was going to talk about us.)
But I think this expert analysis is really missing some of the key moments of the speech, the ones that really let us get a window into Dubya's mind. This, I'm pretty sure, is the stuff that keeps him up at night.
These were my two favorite sections of the speech. Together, they make a sort of crazy redneck manifesto.
First, we support making gasoline out of weeds:
"We must also change how we power our automobiles. We will increase our research in better batteries for hybrid and electric cars, and in pollution-free cars that run on hydrogen. We'll also fund additional research in cutting-edge methods of producing ethanol, not just from corn, but from wood chips and stalks, or switch grass. Our goal is to make this new kind of ethanol practical and competitive within six years."And, second, we totally oppose the creation of goat-boys and other such hybrid creatures:
"Tonight I ask you to pass legislation to prohibit the most egregious abuses of medical research: human cloning in all its forms, creating or implanting embryos for experiments, creating human-animal hybrids, and buying, selling, or patenting human embryos."Thank goodness somebody is paying attention to the looming goat-boy threat out there. Not to mention finding a use for the switch grass that has threatened to overrun us. That's a serious Presidential legacy.
