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Things I should Stop or Start Doing in Chicago

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Photo by Patty Michels

I should probably stop telling people when I have sex dreams about them. This has nothing to do with Chicago, except that I live here, and often the people I dream about live here and then I tell them I dreamed about them and they get all uncomfortable and sometimes they’re uncomfortable in front of the Bean or while eating deep dish pizza or on the way to a Cubs game.

I'm sure I should pick up a copy of Chicago Poet Kathleen Rooney's richly imagined Robinson Alone. Even if I don't read it, I'll feel smart.

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I should start constructing an altar in my bathroom to Chiropractic for Life, because they changed my life, or at least my tensor fasciæ latæ, which is pretty much the same thing.

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This photo represents positive results of chiropractic work. Because I say so.

Definitely, I should stop picking the carmel corn out of the Garrett’s Popcorn my Significant Other buys. If I were a better person, I’d have more self-control or at least I’d take a bus downtown and replace what I’ve stolen but sometimes downtown seems like a whole other city.

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I should stop confining myself to my neighborhood. Did you know that 115 Bourbon Street is an awesome Chicago party destination? A New Orleans themed entertainment complex, it offers live music, restaurants, and nightclubs. So the internet tell me, anyway. I wouldn’t know.

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Photo by Patty Michels

I should hire Sit and Stay LLC to walk my dog. Well, I shouldn’t, because I don’t have a dog, well, I sort of do, but she really belongs to my Significant Other so I never have to worry about walking her. But you should. Especially if you live in Rivernorth, Lakeview or The Gold Coast.

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Photo by Patty Michels

I’m starting to think I should stop drinking the tap water but only because my mother told me I drink too much water which is funny because whose mother worries she drinks too much WATER?

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Certainly, I should start honking my horn all the time and talking really loud. It doesn’t matter that I don’t have a car. I can affix the horn to my purse strap.

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Chicagoans are loud.

I should totally take a Tango class. I've been wanting to since I was ten and the school music teacher assigned us to watch Carmen on PBS and all I wanted in the world was to grow up and be as intense and sexy and free-spirited as Carmen. I fell asleep before the part where she dies. Anyway, I can live the dream now by taking lessons at Artango Center in Ravenswood. Here's hoping no one kills me in a jealous rage.

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Obviously, I should join Friends of the Chicago River in their efforts to clean up the Chicago River. I live here don’t I?

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Photo by Patty Michels

I should enroll my kid in Story Studio’s Creative Writing Summer Camp, July 22-26. Except I’m not even pregnant so I certainly won’t have a kid old enough to attend by next month. But hey, I’ll be teaching the class so if you want your kid in the same room with me, feel free to enroll him or her.

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Believe it or not, I've actually been to Kings Mines Blues Club, but I should go back. The Blues Club's website says "Kingston Mines is about one thing and one thing only: Having a Great Time! We create a party for you seven nights a week, with great food, drinks, entertainment and dancing." So basically everything I'm known to avoid. But I went and it was fantastic. I'm going back this summer.

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This blurry photo was taken at Kings Mines.

Probably I should stop judging Chicagoans for ending sentences with prepositions. No I shouldn’t.

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This photo has nothing to do with anything except cute gay boys (Photo by Sarah Terez Rosenblum.

I should go to Kopi more often. Their nachos come to me in dreams, nonsexual ones. Or so I've learned to pretend.

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A writer with an MFA in Creative Writing from The School of the Art Institute of Chicago, Sarah Terez Rosenblum freelances for sites like Pop Matters and
afterellen.com Her debut novel, “Herself When She’s Missing," was called “poetic and heartrending” by ALA Booklist. Sarah is also a figure model, Spinning instructor and teacher at Chicago’s StoryStudio. Inevitably one day she will find herself lecturing naked on a spinning bike. She's kind of looking forward to it actually.
IMPORTANT: the official Our Town site doesn't support comments. Join in the conversation by following facebook.com/OurTownBlog.ChicagoSunTimes and Sarah on Twitter: @SarahTerez
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This page contains a single entry by Sarah Terez-Rosenblum published on May 30, 2013 4:38 PM.

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