Here is June's roundup of the 10 best, worst and most hilarious verbal exchanges I've been blessed to witness:
“You're a lot prettier when you don't talk.” -- A grumpy and pretentious executive speaking to my friend Holly after he scratched his Rolex during dinner.
"Thanks for coming out with me tonight. You see, I really don't get out much, so I really appreciate you getting me out of the house.” -- Holly on another date at a West Loop bar with a man over 30, who failed to disclose that he also lives with mom.
“I'm not looking at your boobs! I don't ever look at boobs when they are wearing clothes!” -- On a Cubs game date with an endearing meat head.
“Aww man, I look so creepy. Now I look creepy. Can you please walk in front of me?” -- After a failed attempt to approach a woman, Rusty realized he was walking right behind her in the heavy stairway of Burton Place in Old Town, using me as a physical barrier to the alleged creepiness.
“Oh sorry honey, but you are just the cutest thing. You're beautiful! Come here!” -- The friendliest gay man at Hamburger Mary's in Andersonville who accidentally elbowed a woman dancing with friends, and then offered her a hug.
“They were cheap. Plus I missed so many of your birthdays, I wanted to make up for it.” -- A long-lost crush explaining why he sent birthday flowers. First, in true dense-male form, and then second, quite romantically.