Mikey Koffman, Whitney Mixter and Rose Garcia from The Real L Word.
Sarah Terez Rosenblum (@SarahTerez) is an MFA-holding writer, teacher and Spinning instructor. She's also the Theater Listings Editor for Centerstage Chicago. Look for her posts twice a week.
Just when you thought it was safe to be a lesbian, The L Word creator Ilene Chaiken returns with a new batch of skinny, long-haired white women, but this time they’re ‘real.’
That’s right, The Real L Word premieres June 20th on Showtime, and T’s, the bar of choice for lesbians who get off on paying 13 bucks for a salad, will host the official screening. Presented by HRC Chicago, Showtime and Ketel One Oranje, the event begins at 7 p.m.
A suggested donation of $10 buys you a one-year membership to HRC. Those braving the madras-wearing masses will also benefit from drink specials, raffles and the chance to win tickets to Lilith Fair, where Sarah McLachlan will sing a new version of some song with the word “remember” or “forget” in it, and the line for the bathroom will stretch all the way back to 1997. Following the 9 p.m. screening, Windy City Idol winner Amy Kelly hosts karaoke.
Curious about this much-anticipated new series, I perused the official website. Seems the reality show follows a group of six Los Angeles lesbians who scalp and massacre Nazis, thereby spreading fear throughout the Third Reich. Wait, that’s the plot of Inglorious Basterds.
After viewing a whole mess of The Real L Word trailers I am moved to share several impressions:
1. All L.A. lesbians run around naked but emblazoned with palm trees, presumably a native custom.
2. The show’s participants, although reasonably intelligent, seem utterly convinced the series will improve their own lives and raise the self-esteem of rural gays. This sort of makes me want to wrap them in blankets and serve them warm milk.
3. Manager/producer Nikki, while lovely and articulate, is definitely part praying mantis.
Likely the show won’t win the Nobel Peace prize (rumor has it, Celebrity Rehab’s a shoo-in), but as a straight male friend said once when he caught me mocking the original L Word, “Those ladies never hurt no one. Let them do their thing!” And who knows, maybe an 11-year-old baby dyke in Nebraska will catch an episode and, for the very first time think, “Are my thighs too fat?”